(Closed) Spinoff: Do you have a secret savings account?

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not secret but we each have our own checking and savings accounts. We also have a joint checking. I don’t think it is wrong at all, but that is because I am not a fan of joining finances 100% . I don’t want to pay for his video games as much as he doesn’t want to pay for a new pair of shoes for me.

Post # 3
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t have a secret one, but I do have a private one like you do. I think that’s fine. And, at least for me, if something happened and we needed the money as a couple, I wouldn’t hesitate to use that. But it’s good to have a safety net.

Post # 4
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I have a similar account. We have a joint account and separate personal accounts all with the same bank, but I have a bit of my weekly personal money transfered into a separate high-interest savings account at another bank. Like you mine isn’t a secret, my husband knows about it, but it’s my personal money so it’s not really his business how much is in it. I figure it’ll come in handy if I ever want to splurge on a big gift or if we want to go on vacation, or if an emergency comes up. I don’t see anything wrong with it.

Post # 5
18627 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I honestly don’t like the idea.  I feel like if I am hiding things, it makes it okay for him to hide things too.

Post # 6
5278 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well I guess technically I do – I opened a second savings w/ higher rates when we were saving for the wedding and I didn’t spend all the money. Husband suggested just to leave it open, so I do have a a little bit of money sitting in there…

But our main savings account is joint.

Post # 7
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think it’s wrong to have your own account, but I do think it’s wrong to lie about it. 

DH and I have completely separate checking and savings accounts. We don’t really know how much each person has in their accounts. As long as we can each pay our half of the bills and contribute to joint savings, it really doesn’t matter to us how much the other one has.

Post # 8
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well it’s not a secret, but it is my own personal account that Fiance does not have access to. I think he knows approximately how much $$ is in it, but it’s not something I am constantly updating him about!! He has his own savings acct as well. Again I have a rough estimate of how much he has, but we mind our own business about our personal accts. 🙂

Post # 10
1546 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Miss Tattoo: I think I’m going to have one of these accounts to once Fiance and I merge everything. I don’t see anything wrong with it, especially since you are only putting $20/pay period. My mom has always had one and my dad still doesn’t know about it. A lot of the time she used it to buy my brother and I things we didn’t need but didn’t want my dad to know the price of. This came in really handy around holidays when my brother wanted expensive Xbox and play station games. My dad knew he got them, just not that they were $100 a pop. I know now she uses some of it to differ the cost of the fancy martinis she drinks with her gf’s a few times a month. My dad knows she goes, just doesn’t realize that the drinks are $13 each haha. And sometimes when we go out just us girls for lunch and shopping, she still uses it to buy me a pair of shoes, even though I’m almost 30 yrs old haha.

Post # 11
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I have a savings account that I had before we got married and I will continue to keep it seperate.

My DH knows I have it, and has an idea of how much I have in there.I think of it as our money, I have and will continue to use it for us in the even of an emergency/big purchase.  He just does not have any rights to that account. 

I also had a secret savings account when I was previously married.  It helped me escape a horrible marriage.  It wasnt much, but it was enough for a deposit on an apartment, an air mattress, and a fridge full of food. (that’s all I needed, I just wanted out)  

Post # 12
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have no accounts in my name now thanks to previous douche bag ex over drawing my last one by hundreds…..put my name and ssn in the banks systems as being a bad person. UGH.

So, everything is in FI’s account and I keep the check book and ATM card and he just gets cash out of the account when needed. It works for us cause I handle all the bill paying for both of us and our joint bills anyway.

I don’t know that I think it’s wrong because you said he knows about the account. That might be different if he had no idea it was there.

Post # 13
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m an all in kinda girl… and think that it’s an important part of being unified in marriage.

DH and I know about all of money together… I do most of the spending and handling, but there’s not anything we aren’t completely on the same page about.

I really feel that having it like that helps with creating that one-ness and in todays “marriage society” I think it’s really important to have that… there are plenty of things and trials that will come against us in the years to come and I try what I can to keep us always together, totally aware, and up to date on the same page =)

Post # 14
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

We both have personal checking/savings and joint checking/savings. Neither is secret from the other, and we generally know how much is in the other’s account only because we discuss money, debt and the future a lot. I think if we start having children, we may be more joint, but right now I agree with PP – I don’t want to have to have a big discussion about how much money my Fiance wants to spend on something frivolous and vice versa. It just makes the relationship harder.

ETA: I agree with 

View original reply
@Crisark that I don’t think it’s a problem unless your Fiance doesn’t know about it at all. I think there’s a difference between having a secret account b/c you’re already in an abusive relationship, and having a separate savings account than your future husband/wife. Every couple is different, and banking decisions aren’t the end-all-be-all of a marriage.

Post # 15
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I know I’d be upset if my husband had a secret account, so I always wouldn’t want to have one. We do all of our money together in a joint account. I know I have a big support system with my family if something were to happen, but obviously I don’t anticipate ever needing that help.

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