(Closed) Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you have secrets you don't share with your partner?
    Yes, but they are from my long distant past...he dosen't need to know : (74 votes)
    47 %
    Yes, but I plan on telling him "one day" : (7 votes)
    4 %
    No, I'm an open book : (73 votes)
    46 %
    I want to tell him, but I'm afraid. : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

    My Fiance and I are both open books. We tell each other everything, and I love the openness between us. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    14495 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    He knows all of mine, but I don’t see any point in hiding them.  If I can’t share the good, the bad, and the ugly with the person I am with, then I am not with the right person for me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I am an individual person. No one but myself needs to know *every single* little thing about myself. Including my lover. Some things are just straight up personal, like how often I get my jollies off.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6597 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I am 100% open book and have been before we even technically started dating. I think it is important to know eachother’s past to build a future together.

    Post # 7
    Member
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m an open book. We started knowing each other’s deepest darkest secrets and have tried to continue that way.

    Post # 8
    Member
    13099 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Darling Husband and I are both open books.  We are completely willing to tell each other anything about our pasts.  Our past is what made each of us the people we are today and if we couldn’t accept those thing, then we aren’t with the right people.

    Post # 9
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I chose the first option, but it doesn’t totally fit me – I have secrets from my past, but also stuff from right now that I don’t tell my partner.  Like vmec, I have a part of myself that is completely mine and habits/thoughts/secrets that I don’t feel the need to share.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Nope, he knows all of mine from the past and I know all of his.  I can see both sides of it, but I personally would never have chosen to be with someone who wouldn’t tell me everything from the past.  One of DH’s qualities I most admire is his openness and honesty.  He’s my best friend, and I want him to know everything there is to know about me, and likewise for him.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I have been best friends with my Fiance since HS. So for almost 17 years. Before he and I started dating we had told each other everything throughout the years. There was no need to change that. We had some issues in the beginning because he and his ex-wife hid everything from each other. To the point where eventually they were leading separate lives. So I had to remind him a few times who he was with and that made a huge difference. I don’t see the point in hiding things from someone because eventually it all comes out.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    What I haven’t told, from my childhood, he’s probably already guessed and hasn’t asked.

    Him?  Yes.  I know he’s got things he hasn’t told me and I’m not going to ask.  Some things are best left unsaid.  (It’s also from his college days.)

    My favorite quote is: “What you don’t know, can’t hurt you.”

    Post # 14
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    JustSqueeze:

    It depends on which thing he was asking about and why/how he was asking.  It is super hard to answer that because it is sooo context dependent – I’m not trying to be vague. 😉

    Generally, I would evade the question unless it was important that he know for some reason, which I can’t imagine for any of the things I don’t tell him.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1815 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I wouldn’t call them secrets, but there are certainly things he doesn’t need to hear about. Nothing bad though. He knows all the important things. I would never hold back something like that.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?’ is closed to new replies.

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