(Closed) Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you have secrets you don't share with your partner?

    Yes, but they are from my long distant past...he dosen't need to know

    Yes, but I plan on telling him "one day"

    No, I'm an open book

    I want to tell him, but I'm afraid.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    3135 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @Rumplestiltskin:

    hahahah!  well I was about to agree whole-heartedly with your first post but let me say, I am also bang-on with you on your second post!  Fiance caught me trimming my nose hair and he actually said “girls don’t have nose hair!! why are you doing that) Grrrr!  I hide that kind of stuff just because of that comment!

    RE: asking too many questions?  I WISH I hadn’t and I WISH I could go back in time and erase all the dirty details I know.  None of them affect me and they have only caused us issue.  Big issues that are really hard to let go (I still struggle!!)

    So sometimes less is more.

     

    Post # 33
    Member
    7298 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Mr. Tattoo doesn’t need to know anything that doesn’t affect him. That means his safety, his sexual health, and…well that’s everything that I can think.

    Mr. Tattoo doesn’t need to know all the detail of my affair with a married man. He doesn’t need to know the kind of people I’ve hung out with while I was on coke. He doesn’t need to know anything about my past relationships and what happened in them. I mean, if he asked then I would tell him, but I’m not just going to tell him all of it. Same with his past. I don’t care what happened before we got back together. As long as it doesn’t cause me to get an STD or kidnapped by drug dealers then I’m okay.

    Post # 34
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @vmec: Ha! That made me smile. A lot. 😀

    Post # 35
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @Rumplestiltskin: haha, I tried to keep my plucking/shaving habits from my Fiance but then he started to meet the rest of my Italian family and finally he was like ‘there’s NO FREAKIN’ WAY that you have completely bald arms and perfectly smooth facial skin and still be related to these people’ =( I got caught! But on the bright side, now that he know’s he is very grateful that I make the effort to not be so chimpish.

    Post # 36
    Member
    5373 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We’re really open with each other and have never kept any secrets from each other. It’s really nice not having to be careful about how much information I “reveal” or whatever haha.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1806 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    @Just_Squeeze: If he’s trying to bump uglies I’d tell him why. I’ve only had them 3 or 4 times, and each time it happened we just didn’t end up having sex those days, so he never knew. I wouldn’t lie about it. I’d tell him my cookie was under construction or something, lol.

    Post # 38
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @Miss Tattoo: I agree that he doesn’t ‘need to know’ that kind of past history stuff, but if he asked would you tell him?

    Post # 40
    Member
    1511 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I am a Scorpio and a naturally private person. I am also an introvert. I have never been one to tell someone everything. Not my best friends, not my mother, and not my SO. I also don’t lie, so if I’m asked I will be honest. But I tend to use my discretion in determining what info about myself I should and should not divulge. As long as it is not detrimental to the other person, I feel it is up to me to share or not. But as time goes on and I become more open I do tend to share more.

    Post # 41
    Member
    1543 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ditto on the grooming habits, SO does NOT need to know just how hairy I really am. (Gotta love those hispanic genes, lol) But the big deal skeletons in the closet? We both disclosed those very early in the relationship, when we first realized things were gettting serious. 

    Now, that being said, there are some things that aren’t necessarily a big deal, and don’t really have any bearing on our relationship that I haven’t disclosed, simply because the specific subject(s) hasn’t come up. But, if SO were to ever ask, I wouldn’t hesitate to be truthful with him. Example: We both know each other’s “numbers”, but neither of us care to know any of the nitty gritty details about stuff that the other’s done.  

    Post # 42
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

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    @Miss Tattoo: agreed.  completely agree!!!

    Post # 44
    Member
    7298 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @murmur: I would, but I don’t think I would be happy about it. Even if you are married, some things are just none of your business.  He knows I was sleeping with a married man. He doesn’t know other things about that relationship and I’m glad he hasn’t felt the need to ask. He knows about my cocaine habit, but he’s never asked about details.

    I could see if I had this huge horrible secret like lied about being raped to get back at some dude who dumped me or something like that. That’s serious. Keeping my past in my past is not serious. I don’t want to give him any ammo for later. And let’s face it, we all do. How many women do you know that just throws past issues in their partners face while in an argument?

    Post # 45
    Member
    3125 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I ued to be an open book but DH doen’t want to know everything. After I while I saw the wisdom of his ways. Ignorance is bliss. We would tell each other if we asked but we don’t care how often the other person watches porn or how many people the other person has kissed.

    Post # 46
    Member
    2545 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    No there are things of my past I don’t share with anyone. It’s my past, and yes it made me part of who I am today, but I just don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone. I don’t doubt my fiance would love me anyways, though. I just don’t feel like sharing every single detail.

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