(Closed) Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you have secrets you don't share with your partner?

    Yes, but they are from my long distant past...he dosen't need to know

    Yes, but I plan on telling him "one day"

    No, I'm an open book

    I want to tell him, but I'm afraid.

  • Post # 93
    Member
    7298 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

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    @sourlemon: I never said I was scared he would throw it in my face. I said how many women ask their men about something and then throw it in their face later? 

    I don’t throw shit in people’s faces because I don’t want my past mistakes thrown in mine. 

    Post # 94
    Member
    2095 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

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    @Just_Squeeze: I always thought it was HERE’S your sign….lol.

    Sorry love Engvall and couldn’t help myself.

    Post # 95
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The things he doesn’t know about me I wouldn’t call secrets cuz if he asked I’d tell him. But I see no point in revealing every little detail about myself. How do you even bring up shit like that? “Sweetie, i just had to tell you…I had x number of partners before you and x of them were girls. What do you want for dinner?” That’s just so strange to me, lol.

    Post # 96
    Member
    9815 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    When you over analyze your marriage in terms of how you want it to run, and rules and how you want to do things all the time, you kind of set yourself up for disappointment.

    Rules, guidelines, boundaries and policies really won’t keep you together in the long run. Keeping secrets doesn’t make you a bad spouse, nor does protecting your individuality. It’s a choice, just like anything else, and it should be respected.

    Post # 98
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Alright, after some PM action, the OP has agreed to keep this thread open (it obviously has grabbed the Hive’s attention!).

    But let’s all take a step back and respect different opinions and not get so defensive about our own.  (Ahem, MS…)

    Post # 99
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @KatyElle: Hahahaha – shit that’s hilarious. In a Batman roleplay would the female be…a) a damsel in distress b) catwoman or c) batgirl…?

    Post # 100
    Member
    7298 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @Just_Squeeze: You never know. People change. You never know how someone is going to act in an argument or heated discussion. He may have had a bad day and come home to you bitching about something that causes a huge argument and then he says something like “Well something must be off here because you said you NEVER fought with Jimmy! So what is it? What’s the problem?” 

    that was a stupid example, but shit happens. I don’t want Mr. Tattoo questioning my loyalty to him at the age of 28 because I slept with a married man when I was 22. 

    Anyway, I’m out. I’m sick, I’m drugged, and I’m not trying to say any more shit that will hurt someone’s feelings. 

    Post # 101
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    View original reply
    @sourlemon: I don’t understand how this contributes to the topuc at hand, or why you would feel this way based off this post.

    Post # 102
    Member
    1551 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I can see both sides of this.  I almost said that I am totally an open book with my husband with anything and everything that has happened since I met him.  I trust him completely and there is nothing I am embarrassed to share with him…but then I realized he doesn’t know about Weddingbee!  I’m not HIDING it from him, but it’s just something I do when he’s not around and the subject never comes up.  Oh well…

    Having said that, I don’t share everything about my past with him.  There is nothing that I don’t share because I’m embarrassed about or because I’m afraid of how he will react.  He actually knows most of it, but I just don’t talk about anything that I feel that I wouldn’t want to know if it were me.  I’m an encore (as is he) and while we both know the other was married before and had children, neither of us want to hear details of the other one’s life with someone else.  I know why he married his ex-wife and why the marriage ended.  But there’s a lot of stuff I don’t want to know because once it is in my head, I won’t be able to totally forget it.  So that’s the rule I use with my husband. If I wouldn’t want to know if it were me, I don’t share that information with him.  If he asks a specific question, I will answer it truthfully, but I do not volunteer anything I feel he’d rather not know.  And he does the same with me. 

    Post # 105
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m an open book, but, it’s because I had a few rough incidents when I was younger that shaped my beliefs and who I am as an adult. Really, other than those few things? I’m a wet blanket, so there’s not much I could tell anyone that would be shocking or upsetting.

    Post # 106
    Member
    2545 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I just wanted to clarify. I don’t not share every single detail with the fiance because I’m scared to. What’s there to be scared of? I’m not that person anymore, so it’s not a big deal. I have lived enough mistakes to know what I should and should not do, and what I will and will not do. I just feel like my personal sins are between ( sorry to get all religious here) the lord and I, not my fiance. When we get married I will be true to him, and open, and honest, about everything in our marriage, but everything in the past is where I would like to leave it. In the past.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?’ is closed to new replies.

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