(Closed) Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you have secrets you don't share with your partner?

    Yes, but they are from my long distant past...he dosen't need to know

    Yes, but I plan on telling him "one day"

    No, I'm an open book

    I want to tell him, but I'm afraid.

  • Post # 108
    Member
    2738 posts
    Sugar bee

    Fiance is not my best friend. He’s probably the one I tell a lot of stuff to but I still have my best friend on the side. I don’t tell him everything that happens with me. Nor have I told him everything that has happened to me. Sometimes it involves other people. Let’s say a friend is having problems and I need to help her sort through stuff. I don’t tell Fiance…ops, sorry, just realized I am married. DH. Anyhow, if he asks, he can get an answer. IF I deem it appropriate, although it’s hard for me to imagine him asking an inapproriate question. I do sometimes feel that folks ask questions whose answers they are not ready for. But we don’t go digging into each other’s past. I might ask a question about college etc. But honestly, I don’t believe I’m an open book. He might be, I don’t know. I read ‘fiction’ not other people’s lives. I don’t think I’ve asked more than three or so questions about his exes. Actually, about the ex before me. He’s probably had a lot more experience than I have. I don’t really need to know. Now, based on our future together, if something happens, yeah, I’d tell him. Only because I talk a lot though 🙂 He on the other hand, closed book.

    Post # 109
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    To be honest all the things I thought I had never told him (about my ex and past relationship) he knew all about anyway.

    I was actually so relieved as he never asked so I never told him any details – nor does he want to know details, because it simply doesnt matter anymore.

    That was a moment when I knew I he was the “one” for me..

    Post # 110
    Member
    1269 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I guess we aren’t complete open books and DH and I will answer a few questions if asked but there would come a point where both of us would say “you don’t need to know that” and both of us are ok with that because we just think it belongs in the past.  In fact, I don’t think either of us would ever ask the question. 

    For example, our bed was DH’s bed that he got while he was with his ex girlfriend.  I know she slept in it but I don’t ask if they did it up against the headboard or what positions were the “favs”.  If I did, I’m certain DH would say I don’t need to know because I don’t. 

    Post # 111
    Member
    2545 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    View original reply
    @Just_Squeeze:

    I would probably just tell him. It’s not a big deal. It’s like, I’m not going to get mad that his old prom date signed his yearbook.

    But that is so much different to me, than the whole open book policy. There are certain things in my past I don’t like to share with anyone, because it’s my past.

    Post # 113
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We bought a book called “About Us” before we got married.  We started to fill it out.  It asks all sorts of details about EVERYTHING.  We got to the section about past relationships, both looked at each other, and said “I don’t want to know.”  Never pulled out that book again, LOL!

    Post # 114
    Member
    2545 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    View original reply
    @Just_Squeeze:

    Haha, do you want to know? jk, jk.

     

    View original reply
    @MightySapphire:

    That’s hilarious. I totally wouldn’t want to do a book like that!

    Post # 116
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @Cash000: It was really fun at first!  “What is your favorite movie?”  “How often do you shower?”  “If you had $10,000 what would you buy?”  There are lots of fun and interesting questions and I learned a lot about DH completing the pages.  But there are honestly certain things that I don’t want to know.  And he’s smart enough to know what those are.  So if our conversation started to head in the wrong direction, he’d say “You don’t want to know” and I’d trust that.

    Post # 117
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    @Just_Squeeze: It’s called “All About Us” and here’s the Google link:

    Link

    I would mail it to you but I have no idea where it is!

    Post # 118
    Member
    3866 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    View original reply
    @MightySapphire: lol, I get that A LOT from my FI!  Fortunately, I know when I can coax it out and when he’s dead serious!

    Post # 119
    Member
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I share a lot with my Fiance but there are some things in my past (Im talking young child/teenage years) that I would not want him to know because its in the past and Im ashamed of the things I did. Its years and years before I even met him and doesnt affect anything I do know so he doesnt need to know things like me stealing money from my family to pay for my bad habits Embarassed

    But then if he asked I would consider telling him…maybe lol. And I have never told him my “number” (another thing I am ashamed of) and he has never asked

    Post # 120
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I’m open but really I have nothing that would make sense to keep secret from him. Anything weird/bad/dirty from my past has usually involved FH! I’ve lived a very tame life.

    Post # 121
    Member
    34 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    View original reply
    @Just_Squeeze: yes, I’m married. But DH leaves for work about an hour ahead of me every day, and does a lot of evening activities, which usually gives me plenty of time for all necessary private grooming!

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Do you have secrets you will never tell your SO?’ is closed to new replies.

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