MemberDo you feel it is necessary to have sign a piece of paper to solidify and define your relationship? not talking legal aspect i understand the house car insurance situation which is a diff topic altogether. This is purely out of curiosity and healthy conversation( all mature comments and opinions are welcome 🙂
MemberTo legitimize my relationship? No. But I DO need it to feel comfortable moving through with making life-long plans with my Fiance. So I guess to some people, that would be a yes.
For legal and personal reasons (having the other person make that public commitment), the actual marriage is very important to me. I would not buy a house or have children with someone who wasn’t willing to get married.
MemberTo me personally yes. I feel that a man and a woman willing to get married are more committed into a long-lasting relationship. It is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a girlfirend/boyfriend relationship.
There are of course other ways to committ: having (planned) children with a person is possibily the highest level of committment. Buying a house or sharing 100% finances is another level, lower than marriage though.
Of course this is my opinion.. I am married so I obviously value it!
MemberThere is something special and significant about signing a legal contract and making a declaration in front of witnesses and an officiant. It’s binding. It’s difficult to go back on.
I feel the need to have that (and legally I have to for immigration reasons), but I do believe there are some people who feel at ease in a sort of “common law” marriage. To each their own.
MemberNot being married (yet) hasn’t stopped us from buying a house and combining everything else legally. But to me marriage is something you do if you want to stay together long term.
MemberTechnically for Fiance and I- no. We are currently listed as common law through the miltary, because of the time we’ve been together without being married. We own a condo, a car, have joint accounts.
But yeah, I want the damn piece of paper. It’s just engrained in me that I need it for my relationship to be legitimate. It’s ridiculous, but it’s what I grew up believing.
Member@NAvery: I agree. I wouldn’t have kids without being married, and I wouldn’t buy a house together without at LEAST being engaged with a set in stone wedding date. So in those aspects, yes, it’s important to me.
Also as PPs said, it’s more difficult to leave a marriage than to just break up with an SO. So yes, I do feel that our relationship is more “legitimate” after marriage than it was before. It doesn’t matter to me whether others feel the need to get married though – they can feel however they want to in their relationship!
MemberI dont think you need paper, but it makes it much better! Your relationship grows and idk makes it feel better.
MemberThe “piece of paper” wasn’t the important part to us, ours was our religious ceremony that “legitamized” our relationship. But I 100% would not ever have combinded finances, made major purchases (we bought a car no house yet 🙁 ) or have kids with someone I wasn’t legally married to though just because the legal protections and committments.
Member@julesjules83: To me personally yes. I feel that a man and a woman willing to get married are more committed into a long-lasting relationship. It is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a girlfirend/boyfriend relationship. – Yes to this.
Mine comes down to a TON of legal aspects, which you specifically said it was not about, but also like @the_future_mrs mentioned, that’s just what I grew up with so yes, for me to consider myself “married” I want that paper.
MemberI really couldn’t care much about what a piece of paper says. However… I’m Christian and want to be married through our creator and have our marriage blessed by our creator so it’s important to me that we be married, at least in they eyes of our creator. ould care less about what the government has to say really. Unless it comes to insurance loans and such
MemberI don’t need it to legitimize my relationship for myself. However, Fiance is in the Air Force, and I do need that piece of paper to legitimize our relationship in their eyes.
MemberI already live with my not-boyfriend (Fiance is a pretentious term) and we’ve pretty much reached the point of no return.
Do we NEED that to legitimize us? No. I’ll be with him absolutely forever regardless of our marriage plans.
Edit: Similar to blueabz, my not-BF is enlisted in the Navy. I guess the paper helps with the military. 😉
MemberI don’t really about the piece of paper, but I do care about making public, lifelong vows that are recognized by everyone.
MemberI don’t think that you need to be married to have a seriou, commited, loving relationship. But I never dated anyone I wouldn’t have considered marrying. I also do not want to have kids outside of marriage.
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