(Closed) [SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you need the paper?

    Definitely Yes

    No Not At All

    For me yes but not for everyone

    It highly depends on the situation

  • Post # 3
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    To legitimize my relationship? No. But I DO need it to feel comfortable moving through with making life-long plans with my Fiance. So I guess to some people, that would be a yes.

    For legal and personal reasons (having the other person make that public commitment), the actual marriage is very important to me. I would not buy a house or have children with someone who wasn’t willing to get married.

    Post # 4
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    To me personally yes. I feel that a man and a woman willing to get married are more committed into a long-lasting relationship. It is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a girlfirend/boyfriend relationship. 

    There are of course other ways to committ: having (planned) children with a person is possibily the highest level of committment. Buying a house or sharing 100% finances is another level, lower than marriage though.

    Of course this is my opinion.. I am married so I obviously value it!

    Post # 5
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    There is something special and significant about signing a legal contract and making a declaration in front of witnesses and an officiant. It’s binding. It’s difficult to go back on.

    I feel the need to have that (and legally I have to for immigration reasons), but I do believe there are some people who feel at ease in a sort of “common law” marriage. To each their own.

    Post # 6
    10450 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Not being married (yet) hasn’t stopped us from buying a house and combining everything else legally. But to me marriage is something you do if you want to stay together long term.

    Post # 7
    1853 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    Technically for Fiance and I- no. We are currently listed as common law through the miltary, because of the time we’ve been together without being married. We own a condo, a car, have joint accounts.

    But yeah, I want the damn piece of paper. It’s just engrained in me that I need it for my relationship to be legitimate. It’s ridiculous, but it’s what I grew up believing.

    Post # 8
    3622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    View original reply
    @NAvery:  I agree. I wouldn’t have kids without being married, and I wouldn’t buy a house together without at LEAST being engaged with a set in stone wedding date. So in those aspects, yes, it’s important to me.

    Also as PPs said, it’s more difficult to leave a marriage than to just break up with an SO. So yes, I do feel that our relationship is more “legitimate” after marriage than it was before. It doesn’t matter to me whether others feel the need to get married though – they can feel however they want to in their relationship!

    Post # 9
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I dont think you need paper, but it makes it much better! Your relationship grows and idk makes it feel better.

    Post # 10
    5540 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    The “piece of paper” wasn’t the important part to us, ours was our religious ceremony that “legitamized” our relationship. But I 100% would not ever have combinded finances, made major purchases (we bought a car no house yet 🙁 ) or have kids with someone I wasn’t legally married to though just because the legal protections and committments. 

    Post # 11
    986 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @julesjules83: To me personally yes. I feel that a man and a woman willing to get married are more committed into a long-lasting relationship. It is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a girlfirend/boyfriend relationship. – Yes to this.

    Mine comes down to a TON of legal aspects, which you specifically said it was not about, but also like 

    View original reply
    @the_future_mrs mentioned, that’s just what I grew up with so yes, for me to consider myself “married” I want that paper.

    Post # 12
    1085 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I really couldn’t care much about what a piece of paper says. However… I’m Christian and want to be married through our creator and have our marriage blessed by our creator so it’s important to me that we be married, at least in they eyes of our creator. ould care less about what the government has to say really. Unless it comes to insurance loans and such

    Post # 13
    153 posts
    Blushing bee

    I don’t need it to legitimize my relationship for myself. However, Fiance is in the Air Force, and I do need that piece of paper to legitimize our relationship in their eyes.

    Post # 14
    9076 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I already live with my not-boyfriend (Fiance is a pretentious term) and we’ve pretty much reached the point of no return.

    Do we NEED that to legitimize us? No. I’ll be with him absolutely forever regardless of our marriage plans.


    Edit: Similar to blueabz, my not-BF is enlisted in the Navy. I guess the paper helps with the military. 😉

    Post # 15
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t really about the piece of paper, but I do care about making public, lifelong vows that are recognized by everyone. 

    Post # 16
    2285 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    I don’t think that you need to be married to have a seriou, commited, loving relationship. But I never dated anyone I wouldn’t have considered marrying. I also do not want to have kids outside of marriage.

    The topic ‘[SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship’ is closed to new replies.

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