(Closed) [SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you need the paper?
    Definitely Yes : (53 votes)
    31 %
    No Not At All : (47 votes)
    27 %
    For me yes but not for everyone : (61 votes)
    36 %
    It highly depends on the situation : (10 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 17
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @Hyperventilate:  Tell me more about this “Fiance is a pretentious term.” I am fascinated.

    Post # 18
    8035 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @babypearls:  I don’t see marriage as only being a piece of paper. Divorces sure are harder than tearing up that piece of paper.

    I wouldn’t want to build a life with someone who isn’t willing to marry me. I realize 50% of marriages end in divorce, but I like the security of that added commitment. It’s more than shacking up and playing house.

    Post # 19
    9076 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @NAvery:  Not-BF and I got engaged in October, and we’re joksters. I guess that’s the biggest part that is really relevent in my little… inside joke, I guess? Anyway, we’re both young (Both 25) and immediately we started calling eachother “Fiance”, now, imagine two very posh british people, pinky out, noses up. That’s pretty much how we’d only say it. Very preteniously. So, we both agreed we didn’t like the word and call each other the not-boyfriend/not-girlfriend. We will jokingly call each other the “F” word scoffingly, but I guess it’s more us disliking the word and finding it very “hoity toity” as opposed to it necessarily being bad.

    Post # 20
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I don’t need a piece of paper to solidify my relationship but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it for myself. I already feel like FH and I are already “married” in the sense that we live together, we have combined finances and we have a house together but I’m looking forward to the wedding and having that piece of paper. 

    Post # 22
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    No.  There wouldn’t even be a piece of paper if states didn’t use it to make money through the licenses. 

    For legal reasons, it was important to us but that piece of paper does nothing to legitimize our relationship.  We already had that.  🙂 

    Post # 23
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I don’t need the paper to make my relationship any more legitimate although I do need that piece of paper to protect me legally, also to protect him if something happened to either one of us. I almost lost my house when Fiance was in a motorcycle accident a couple of years ago, also I couldn’t make any medical decisions in regards to his care. Although my Fiance would have allowed me to make decisions in his best interest but the law wouldn’t let me.

    Post # 24
    3415 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

    Nope. We already live as husband and wife. A lot of times if I’m talking to someone about Fiance I will call him “hubby”. Honestly we’re having a wedding more for our families (children). I think this wedding is a great way to bring everyone together in a family union, not just man and wife union.

    Post # 25
    373 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Yes. The promise of lifelong committment is really important to me.

    Post # 26
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    No, not at all.  I live in a relationship that is exactly like were married.  But marriage is important for me.  We have 2 children, I want them to grow up with the same values I grew up with.  Although we had our children before we were married, I do hope that my children wait until they are married. 

    Its hard to explain… I wouldnt love my Fiance any more if were married, and were in Canada so we are in a legal common law relationship and it really does not change anything for us as far as next of kin, life insurance, etc. Marriage for me is sort of personal, that we both are declaring our love and devotion to each other in front of everyone we care about.  And the fact that I would like to have the same last name as my children 🙂 I tell my 3 year old son were getting married to tell everyone we will love each other forever

    Post # 27
    1479 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    There sure are a lot of rights and privileges that that little piece of paper bestows on a couple. So yes, I think it’s necessary.

    Post # 28
    1038 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    View original reply
    @pinkgreenandyellow:   really couldn’t care much about what a piece of paper says. However… I’m Christian and want to be married through our creator and have our marriage blessed by our creator so it’s important to me that we be married, at least in they eyes of our creator. ould care less about what the government has to say really. Unless it comes to insurance loans and such




    Post # 29
    2266 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think what people like about it is how “official” it all is. 

    Post # 30
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I don’t care about the paper; we need it specifically for legal reasons and if we didn’t, we likely would have stayed together without marrying. In Canada, our partnership as an unmarried couple is as legitimate as that of a married couple and we have all the same privileges and rights, but we need to be legally married to have that recognition elsewhere.

    Post # 31
    1524 posts
    Bumble bee

    It’s more than a piece of paper…it’s a legal document. Did we need it to be in love and live together and to have his daughter call me mom? No. But I like being a legal family…being a legal guardian to my daughter (her mom abandoned her, so being able to be a legal guardian of her was important to us). I wanted to have the same last name as her. If marriage licenses didn’t exist, I would adopt her, but that is more expensive and currently unnecessary. 

    Marriage licenses don’t legitimize relationships in the sense that it makes them more ‘real’ to the people involved, but it does afford a lot of convenient legal advantages that we wanted. It adds a deeper level of security for us….we trusted each other enough to make a commitment to be together forever. I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone and that people can make this commitment without signing a marriage license, but for us the officialness of it helped to solidify that commitment. 

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