(Closed) [SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you need the paper?

    Definitely Yes

    No Not At All

    For me yes but not for everyone

    It highly depends on the situation

  • Post # 32
    Member
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I live with SO and his family treats me like family, so mostly I feel okay with the fact that we’re not engaged or married yet. Everyone close to us recognizes the seriousness of our relationship. However, I don’t like how juvenile I feel when I refer to him as my boyfriend to people I don’t know as well. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee

    I think of marriage as a lifelong commitment made under God, family and the law. Calling it a “piece of paper” really misses the boat, as if it’s just a greeting card signed by both sides.

    And yes, I do think marriage “leigitimizes” a relationship. It says to the world “We have chosen each other forever” and causes the couple to be taken more seriously as a permanent unit. And, like a previous poster said, it allows for many rights and privileges that being partners without marriage does not.

     

    Post # 34
    Member
    9837 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I don’t need it to legitimize my relationship but I think it is important to get married, and have that piece of paper for the future together 🙂 Of course it isn’t necessary for everyone, my aunt and uncle have been together nearly 30 years, living together for almost all of those years, and it works for them not having that piece of paper. So it depends on the couple 🙂

    Post # 35
    Member
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We NEED to do it – for immigration purposes. We actually can’t carry on beyond his visa without it! If he wants to stay in this country, we’ve got to get on it.

    Marriage is very important for both of us from an emotional standpoint though.

    Post # 36
    Member
    9123 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Considering that we’ve been together for 12 years, own a house, and very much are a life-long pair… NO!  But, we are considering having a family in a couple years and that is something we both want to do as a married couple.

    Love is love, with or without a piece of paper.

    Post # 37
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    If I needed a piece of paper to legitimize my relationship I would never get married. For me, mariage is a SOCIAL validation and celebration of our commitment. That’s it ! We became a family in society’s eyes… I think is sad that people may think a piece of paper can change the love and the comitment you have with a particular personne. But that is just me and my fiance maybe…

    Post # 38
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @Hyperventilate:  I totally get what you mean about the word “fiance”. DH and I were never comfortable with it, because it just didn’t sound like “us”. It didn’t bother me when anybody else that was engaged said it, but it felt too weird coming out of my mouth!

    As for the original question, no, the paper didn’t matter to us besides making things easier to change my name, get insurance, etc. The ceremony where we pledged in front of God to be husband and wife for our whole lives was what made it a marriage for us.

    Post # 39
    Member
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Well considering my state’s idea of solving global warming was banning talk about it, I don’t put too much validation into anything they tell me.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1837 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    no, but i want one. lol. for legal reasons mostly, since we’ve been together 8+ years

    Post # 41
    Member
    9123 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    View original reply
    @Hyperventilate:  haha, I totally agree about what a goofy word “fiance” is.  One of the first things we said after we got engaged was, “The term ‘fiance’ is dumb, right?  Ok.”  

    Post # 42
    Member
    906 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Need it no. But its very special and meaningful to declare ure love for one another. And make vows in front of our loved ones. We were proud of our relationship and wanted to show that.

    Post # 43
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I don’t need the paper.. but I needed it to be done in the church. so that counts as a yes I guess.

    Post # 44
    Member
    2446 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It’s not the piece of paper that’s important as much as the ceremony and gathering in front of all of our friends and family to announce our lifelong commitment to each other. For me it’s a BIG deal but I can understand and respect those that don’t need that to show their devotion.

    Post # 45
    Member
    5653 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think going through with the whole process of marriage is about more than just the piece of paper you get at the end. It shows you’re willing to go through those steps and make it actually official beyond “spiritually” between you two and make a commitment that is much harder to back away from. IMO, government “common law marriage” is destroying the “Sanctity” of marriage way more than gay marriage is.

    Also, there are a lot of legal benefits to being legally married. 

    Post # 46
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think we were a legitimate couple when we were just dating, as well as when we had a common law relationship.  To me though, marriage is taking the relationship to a further level.

    The topic ‘[SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship’ is closed to new replies.

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