(Closed) [SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do you need the paper?

    Definitely Yes

    No Not At All

    For me yes but not for everyone

    It highly depends on the situation

  • Post # 47
    6112 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    When I was 24-25 and got married for the first time, I used to think of it as just a piece of paper and no paper can define my relationship!


    Now that I’m 36 and married smarter this time around, it’s not just a piece of paper, it’s definitely different and more binding and I value the legality part greatly.

    Post # 48
    13094 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Being married is so much more than the “piece of paper” to me.  So yes – I needed marriage (and the commitments, security, protections, etc that go along with it) to move my relationship to the next level.  The piece of paper is just a by-product that comes along with those commitments.

    View original reply
    @glittermoon:  “Marriage licenses don’t legitimize relationships in the sense that it makes them more ‘real’ to the people involved, but it does afford a lot of convenient legal advantages that we wanted. It adds a deeper level of security for us….we trusted each other enough to make a commitment to be together forever.”


    View original reply
    @canarydiamond:  “I don’t see marriage as only being a piece of paper. Divorces sure are harder than tearing up that piece of paper.”

    So true!

    Post # 49
    9076 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    View original reply
    @lolot:  Every time I say it, I hear the “Fiance! I’ve LOST my Fiance the poor baby!” skit from Sienfeld in my head. I always tell SO that “The Dingo Ate My Baby.”

    We have a good laugh every time.

    Seriously, the word sucks. Tee hee.

    Post # 50
    2390 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Not to legitimize my relationship, but there are a lot more reasons to get married than just love/companionship. That’s just a fact nowadays. 

    Post # 51
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Do I need a piece of paper to legitimize my relationship?  No, I don’t need to get married to do that.  Do I want it for other reasons?  Yep.

    Post # 52
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012


    Post # 53
    556 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I am only in it for the legal aspects regarding power of attorney, tax break, etc., because a marriage is just that — legal, while the relationship and committment to one another is truly the important part.

    I won’t feel after marriage that my relationship is legitimate, because it already IS legitimate. A family is still a family, married or unmarried. We are no different than a married couple as we share finances, a household, ownership of cars and property, plus, I am already on his insurance policy — the marriage license is another formality and hoop to jump through, and provides nothing meaningful to my life that I do not already have.

    Post # 54
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

     ” If it were EASY, EVERYBODY would do it”

    Post # 55
    1328 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I don’t “need” it, but it seems that everyone else thinks we do.  Depsite the fact that we live together, are planning our futures together, have combined finances, etc. we are still “boyfriend and girlfriend”.  The same title used by 13 year olds.  Most people take you more seriously if you’re someone’s spouse vs. just the girlfriend.  My SO’s family members still occasionaly refers to me as his “friend”.  I know they doesn’t mean anything by it but it still hurts everytime I hear it.  Sometimes that title is just as important socially as it is leagally.

    Don’t get me wrong, I want and look forward to our wedding.  For me it’s not really about professing our love and making our vows in front of everyone (frankly I’d rather do that part in private, I really hate being the center of attention especially with something so personal).  The wedding, for me, is just a big party where we get to bring together our families.  It’s also our way of saying “Okay you can all shut up now, we’re fianlly a real couple”.

    Post # 57
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I never understood why a couple would not get married if they were living together, sharing expenses, had children together, etc. 

    If something were to happen to your SO, you would not have any say in any medical decisions (unless your SO has a living will that specifically outlines this). 

    No matter what, you need the marriage certificate to “cement” your relationship in the eyes of the law.  Otherwise, you are and always will be boyfriend/girlfriend.

    The topic ‘[SpinOff] Do you NEED a piece of paper to legitimize your relationship’ is closed to new replies.

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