Post # 47
When I was 24-25 and got married for the first time, I used to think of it as just a piece of paper and no paper can define my relationship!
Now that I’m 36 and married smarter this time around, it’s not just a piece of paper, it’s definitely different and more binding and I value the legality part greatly.
Post # 48
Being married is so much more than the “piece of paper” to me. So yes – I needed marriage (and the commitments, security, protections, etc that go along with it) to move my relationship to the next level. The piece of paper is just a by-product that comes along with those commitments.
@glittermoon: “Marriage licenses don’t legitimize relationships in the sense that it makes them more ‘real’ to the people involved, but it does afford a lot of convenient legal advantages that we wanted. It adds a deeper level of security for us….we trusted each other enough to make a commitment to be together forever.”
@canarydiamond: “I don’t see marriage as only being a piece of paper. Divorces sure are harder than tearing up that piece of paper.”
Post # 49
Every time I say it, I hear the “Fiance! I’ve LOST
my Fiance the poor baby!” skit from Sienfeld in my head. I always tell SO that “The Dingo Ate My Baby.”
We have a good laugh every time.
Seriously, the word sucks. Tee hee.
Post # 50
Not to legitimize my relationship, but there are a lot more reasons to get married than just love/companionship. That’s just a fact nowadays.
Post # 51
Do I need a piece of paper to legitimize my relationship? No, I don’t need to get married to do that. Do I want it for other reasons? Yep.
Post # 53
I am only in it for the legal aspects regarding power of attorney, tax break, etc., because a marriage is just that — legal, while the relationship and committment to one another is truly the important part.
I won’t feel after marriage that my relationship is legitimate, because it already IS legitimate. A family is still a family, married or unmarried. We are no different than a married couple as we share finances, a household, ownership of cars and property, plus, I am already on his insurance policy — the marriage license is another formality and hoop to jump through, and provides nothing meaningful to my life that I do not already have.
Post # 54
” If it were EASY, EVERYBODY would do it”
Post # 55
I don’t “need” it, but it seems that everyone else thinks we do. Depsite the fact that we live together, are planning our futures together, have combined finances, etc. we are still “boyfriend and girlfriend”. The same title used by 13 year olds. Most people take you more seriously if you’re someone’s spouse vs. just the girlfriend. My SO’s family members still occasionaly refers to me as his “friend”. I know they doesn’t mean anything by it but it still hurts everytime I hear it. Sometimes that title is just as important socially as it is leagally.
Don’t get me wrong, I want and look forward to our wedding. For me it’s not really about professing our love and making our vows in front of everyone (frankly I’d rather do that part in private, I really hate being the center of attention especially with something so personal). The wedding, for me, is just a big party where we get to bring together our families. It’s also our way of saying “Okay you can all shut up now, we’re fianlly a real couple”.
Post # 57
I never understood why a couple would not get married if they were living together, sharing expenses, had children together, etc.
If something were to happen to your SO, you would not have any say in any medical decisions (unless your SO has a living will that specifically outlines this).
No matter what, you need the marriage certificate to “cement” your relationship in the eyes of the law. Otherwise, you are and always will be boyfriend/girlfriend.