(Closed) Spinoff. Do you or would you help your parents?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
901 posts
Busy bee

My SO pays a few bills for his parents who are on a fixed income. I expect this will increase after we get married as I will likely insist upon it. My parents are not yet retired and are more well off. I would have absolutely no problem helping them out if need be. These are our parents! They gave us life and we honor them.

We both buy our parents gifts frequently. In particular, I always buy my mom this very expensive shampoo she loves but will never buy for herself. I also do her keratin treatments which could run her $300 or so in the salon. 

We take SO’s mom out for breakfast all the time.

Post # 4
901 posts
Busy bee

@Pamelor55:  That’s awesome that you and your sister take care fo your father like that! It’s so important and so many people don’t seem to get it.

Post # 5
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I financially supported my mom when I was putting myself through college when my dad left her. After watching her get back on her feet with zero education, no credit score, and no job history (married young, stay at home mom) it really drove home for me how important it is to be accomplished first, married second. I think I got as much or more out of helping her than she got from me!

Post # 6
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

Yes, I definitely help my parents.  They are not well off, so I bring over things that they might be able to use (food, fabric, etc). 

Darling Husband and I plan to take care of them when my dad gets too old to work, since they don’t have anything saved for retirement.  I’d estimate that to be about 5 years from now!

Post # 7
9574 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I certainly would!  My parents make pretty decent money and they still will continue to when they retire.  I make so much less than them that I’m not really in a position to help them a lot right now if they needed it (and they don’t).  But if I could or needed to I wouldn’t think twice about it!

I do bake for them sometimes!  My mom and I like to go shopping together and cook food so we do that a lot Smile

Post # 8
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If I could afford it and my parents needed it, I wouldn’t hesitate to help them out.  But as it goes now, they are still the ones trying to help their children get as far as they can and as comfortable as possible.  They don’t need my help financially and they have done a great job helping me along the way to financially stability.

Post # 9
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would help my parents in a heartbeat if they needed it. 

me and my sisters always do little special things for them but we have to surprise them with it or they won’t accept it.    We have to trick them sometimes.

They are in the middle of renovating their house(which they have been trying to do for the past 6 years) … so we’ll secretly find out what they want to purchase next for it, and we go buy it for them. 

Just recently we sent them on their FIRST getaway together EVER.   They have been married for 37 years and have never been away together.   So we sent them to a B&B for a few days and gave them spending money and everything.  

so yea, we do stuff like that for them.

Post # 10
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would help my parents/family, but only if they actually need it and are grateful. For example, I have an uncle who is constantly ignoring rent payments, spending his money irresponsibly, not telling us when he’s lost his job, ect. He’s been kicked out of various places over the years. At first my family always rushed to support him in his times of need, but after time and time again that this happened it was clear he didn’t appreciate our help, he just expected it. He’s a grown man, it’s time he learned to care for himself. 

As for gifts, I often see things in stores that I know people will like. Sometimes I pick them up and give them as a “just because” gift (like your Dad’s banana slicer) or I write them down and get them for birthdays and christmas.

Post # 11
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve never thought about it! I would help my parents, but they don’t need any money. They’re all good savers and manage their money fine.

Darling Husband and I have agreed though that right now our parents are the only people that we would lend money to if they asked.

Post # 12
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If my father needed anything, I would do everything in my power to help him. He’s just awesome and has always been there for me when I needed anything. My mother? Not so much.

My husband’s father is a deadbeat in every sense of the word and dumped my husband and his brother on their grandparents to raise when they were kids and disappeared until they were adults. We took him in when he fell on hard times (worst decision ever). He won’t work a steady job, spends what little money he has to get high 24/7, yet calls us ungrateful little shits who don’t respect our elders. Yeah. Okay. Him? Him I would not help ever again.

Post # 13
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My mother, no.

My grandma, and FI’s parents/grandparents? Absolutely.

Post # 14
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would definitely help my mom (and siblings) if needed. There are some exceptions though. My first responsibility is to not hurt them, so if they were being financially irresponsible or in an addiction with no desire for help, I would not help.

Post # 15
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would, but within reason.

Post # 16
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I buy stuff for my parents if I a see a cool thing they like. As far as helping them out on big things, there is absolutely no need because they do very well and have oodles of money stockpiled away. 

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