(SPINOFF) Do your men stand up to wipe?

posted 12 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Do you stand up or sit down to wipe after dropping friends off at the pool?
    I sit down : (38 votes)
    32 %
    I stand up : (36 votes)
    31 %
    You’re lying. People really stand up to wipe after dropping a deuce?? : (32 votes)
    27 %
    I like polls. And Doritos. Especially Cool Ranch. : (12 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    3850 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    des- :  I asked my husband, in a joking sort of way like ‘can you believe some people stand??’ and it turns out… he is one of those people surprised I don’t even know who I married! BUT I had to clarify, and it is more of a squat, like a hover over the seat the way some people do when they don’t want to touch a public toilet seat. Definitely not a full stand (to my relief). Which means if it takes a while to, er, get clean, then you’re getting one heck of a thigh workout. 

    He seemed equally bamboozled at how I was able to stay seated…

    Post # 77
    Member
    1240 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - -

    🙄 How I wish I could simply “close this.” 

    Post # 80
    Member
    573 posts
    Busy bee

    I sit, he stands. (And I think it’s the funniest thing ever.🤣) 

    Post # 81
    Member
    2533 posts
    Sugar bee

    1) I refuse to accept that these poll results are accurate

    2) HOW on Earth are so many people not only NOT sitting down to wipe, but actually CONFUSED as how such a thing could be accomplished?

    You literally just lean slighty to the side, spread your legs and -starting at the front- wipe backwards. I swear, it is quite easy. I don’t even need to stretch or warm up before-hand.

    I have also never dipped my hand into water (ew??!) because the water in the toilets I use doesn’t come right up to the rim. What sort of toilets are you people using?!?!?!

    3) I have no idea what Dh does, because I didn’t know this was a thing before today. But now the same part of me that loves horror movies needs to find out. 

    Post # 82
    Member
    7865 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Lolllllllll. Dh is a stander, which shocked and horrified me when I first found out! Like what! I had no idea that was even an option. But whatever I guess…

    ETA: And I 100% wipe from front to back while sitting down…all you have to do is lift up your hiney a little bit to get the angle right! 

    Post # 83
    Member
    1172 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    des- :  I know I’m reviving an ooooooold thread, but I actually stand/squat (in reality it’s a standing squat) and put one of my feet on the toilet seat, and I think that this is gives the most “access” and is actually the best way to make sure everything down there is clean as can be.

    Yes, even in public stalls. And I am plus size–currently a US size 18-20.

    Post # 84
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

    Sansa85 :  LMAO yes… how would you even ask your SO this question? Over a candelit dinner? 

    “Hey baby, you know I love you so much. Now tell me… how do you like to wipe your ass?”

    Anyhow. I can only speak for myself because I wouldn’t dream of asking such an embarrassing question… I sit when wiping. Let’s get technical here. How would you get everything clean if you’re standing up, because the ass cheeks naturally are closed more standing up. You’d have to really dig in there to wipe properly. Unless you were slightly squatting?? How else would you get in there?? 

    Post # 85
    Member
    1172 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    missmollybee :  The people who are “standing” are squatting. I can guarantee you that because that’s what I do and there is no other way to wipe while “standing.”

    Post # 86
    Member
    1560 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

    My fiance stands and I found this out because when we moved in together, the toilet paper started disappearing from the TP stand and would somehow magically be over on the counter, far away from where I could reach it.

    I was naturally very confused as to why this kept happening, so I asked my fiance about it and he said “Oh yeah I forget to put it back on the stand when I’m done wiping.” As if it is completely normal to take the TP off the stand when you wipe. I then asked why he put it down on the counter as opposed to back on the stand that is within reach. His response was “Because the counter is closer when I’m stand and wipe.”

    That then prompted “What?”, “How?”, and “Why?” as well as “What kind of monster are you?”

    ETA: Unlike most of the commenters who stand on this thread – my fiance explained that he does in fact stand fully upright, and the process requires 2 hands.

    Post # 87
    Member
    1211 posts
    Bumble bee

    I stand, standers don’t fully stand up straight, you sort of stand up slightly so you’re still bent over and squatting. I don’t really fancy putting my hand into a toilet bowl to wipe my bottom tbh so that’s why I stand.  

    Post # 88
    Member
    1044 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

    franklymydearidont :  Ahhh that makes sense. I do lean forward a little however my butt is still on the seat. 

    Wow I can’t believe this is actually a thread. 

    Post # 89
    Member
    880 posts
    Busy bee

    My SO just told me he prefers to do a handstand. undecided

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors