(Closed) Spinoff: Does FI/Hubby/SO know the real number

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Does four FI/Hubby/SO know your real number of previous sexual partners?
    He was a true gentleman and never asked. : (110 votes)
    30 %
    Yes, he knows the exact number. : (196 votes)
    54 %
    No, he knows a number close but not the exact number. : (38 votes)
    10 %
    No, he knows a number not even close to my actual number. : (20 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 91
    929 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Yes he does. We’ve known each other since we were young teenagers so even without actually talking about it he would have been able to guess. Just him and another. 

    He doesn’t even know his number, partially because it’s high and partially due to a brain injury causing severe memory loss.

    Post # 92
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    NurseShannon:  Haha, yes! If I couldn’t be honest with him about EVERYTHING I wouldn’t have married him in the first place! 

    Post # 93
    2866 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    NurseShannon:  Darling Husband never asked but he knows my number is higher than his. I also have no problem with saying “none of your business” early in a relationship.

    Post # 94
    394 posts
    Helper bee

    juliette.eliza:  Exactly this! I can’t imagine not discussing something like that.


    Post # 95
    860 posts
    Busy bee

    I don’t know my exact number (It’s right around 30) but my Fiance knows the ballpark. I know his ballpark too, which just don’t normally keep track (he’s somewhere between 6-10). We were each other’s firsts, so it’s more that we don’t care enough to have continued to pay attention. 

    Also, we’ve both had partners of all genders, so that makes defining “sex” a little difficult. 

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  SilverWire.
    Post # 96
    4231 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    NurseShannon:  He knows how many MEN I have slept with. He is aware (and totally cool with) the fact I am bisexual, and knows I have had a semi-serious girlfriend before. However, he doesn’t know how many women I have fooled around with. I’d tell him if he asked….but he has never, so I don’t bring it up.

    Post # 97
    3458 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    He doesn’t know mine and I don’t know his number either. If he asked I’d have no problem telling him but it’s not something that’s ever come up.

    Post # 98
    2119 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    NurseShannon:  We have shared all of our sexual experiences. We met when I was 19 so there wasnt that many. I was always curious since hes older then me. It doesnt bother me or him to talk about it. My previous and only other boyfriend was an asshole and my relationship with him wasnt healthy. My now husband and I are best friends and are very open. We talk about everything and I love that. Im 29 now so it never comes up any more. 

    Post # 99
    537 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    NurseShannon:  Your past is never anything to be ashamed of, and only a jealous, insecure creep would try to shame you for it.

    Your husband’s reaction is completely blown out of proportion and very troubling. As you said, even when he thought it was 4 boyfriends, he’s been “thinking about this a million times”? WTF? Your husband obviously has some very serious insecurity and control issues- any man that, after years of marriage, would be “questioning my integrity” based on either the number of sexual partners I’ve had or whether I’d lied about something totally petty years ago would be shown the door. This is a HUGE red flag, and I’m willing to bet this isn’t the first time his crazy has shown when it comes to trying to control you. Please remember that this is entirely HIS issue, you have nothing to apologize for, and if he’s so distraught about your two extra boyfriends, he’s free to move on- seems you’d be better off, your husband sounds like an asshole…

    Post # 100
    282 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    He knows because we were friends for a couple years before we started dating and had talked about our how experienced or inexperienced each of us were. 

    Post # 101
    1338 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    NurseShannon:  I don’t eecall him ever asking and I couldn’t answer anyway since I dont know the number myself.  He has a general idea that I was a busy girl in my single life.

    Post # 102
    543 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - Maui

    He has never asked me, so he doesn’t know.

    Post # 103
    1445 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Darling Husband asked, so I told him. He initially thought I was ashamed to tell him my “true” number because what I told him is so much lower than he expected, but I wasn’t, I was just a late bloomer I guess. He doesn’t really care anyway. I don’t know his number. I don’t think he even knows.

    Post # 104
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    My SO knows my exact number, but I lied to him about it at first. The twist is that I lied and gave him a HIGHER number than what my actual number was. When we got together, I was a virgin but when he asked for the number, I panicked and told him I’d been with one other guy because we were just FWB and I didn’t want him to change the arrangement or end things. I told him the truth after we’d been together a few times.

    Post # 105
    683 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Yes he knows, and I know his number. To the T number isn’t important, what’s important is knowing if my husband slept with a ton of girls or not. It matters to me and a high number was one of my “deal breakers”.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Does FI/Hubby/SO know the real number’ is closed to new replies.

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