Post # 1
Is your spouse more highly educated than you, and if so, does it intimidate you at all?
I ask because, Fiance and I are totally opposite brained. I have an English degree and am working on a Technical Communication masters. Fiance has a biochemistry degree and is about to start med school. Currently, we are pretty “on par” in that we can discuss things that interest both of us. Especially when we discuss healthcare or medicine…things I can, currently, hold my own while discussing.
Sometimes I feel kinda sad that when he goes to med school, his education will far surpass anything I am able to discuss with him. I’ve often joked that I wish I could learn along with him so we could still talk about stuff…it truly interests me. I don’t know if I feel truly intimidated by the level of edcuation he’ll have, but I do sometimes feel like I could become someone he doesn’t always talk to about work and medicine because he’s surpassed me in understanding what’s going on. Luckily, I intend to help him study for tests and USMLE so maybe we’ll still be able to converse about it!
What about you?
Post # 3
@MrsDrRose612: MY So is working on a physics Ph.D., I am working on a masters in a social science. I barely understand anything he brings home… but I like when he tries to explain it to me… it’ll help him when he has to teach future undergraduates!
Post # 4
@love108: good point!! i’ve thought about that too, I’ve told Fiance when we study for stuff he can explain in depth to me because he ultimately wants to work as an attending in one of the teaching hospitals in our area…so I’m just helping him practice for the future of teaching people and explaning things to patients!
Post # 5
I have 2 university degrees – Fiance didn’t attend university. We have tons in common! I think it can make a difference, but in most cases it probably doesn’t.
It might make more of a difference when people are younger since “going to college/university” is so fresh in everyone’s minds. To me, school was something that happened quite a while ago and isn’t really something anyone talks about anymore!
Post # 6
We don’t talk about work at home (we can’t), but we both have professional masters degrees and can hold our own weight on many issues. We can both talk about politics and policy (my field) and science/tech (his field). While we don’t get the nitty gritty of each others jobs, he can throw out buzz words and keep pace at each others work and social events.
One thing I have noticed is that when there is a big difference in intellegence and education it is obvious and people question it. In our social circles it sticks out like a sore thumb if there is a big difference. We always wonder what the couples talk about if there isn’t the same respect/intellectual capacity there.
Post # 7
I think some of the fun for us is exposing each other to things that the other didn’t know. My husband is in the car business so he can school me on any type of car, the inner workings of cars, financing, credit, etc. I’m an engineer so I explain to him things I do at work. It’s fun! I like having very different areas of expertise. Another one is religion; we are the same religion but come from very different backgrounds within our religion and he is more educated and knowledgeable than I am on it. It’s fun to learn about each other’s traditions, our childhood memories, etc. pertaining to our religions.
Post # 8
I have a HS diploma and my dh currently has his BS degree. He’s going onto Grad school in the fall and will ultimately end up w/ a PhD. I’m not intimidated at all! I support him 100% and am very proud to be his wife. He’s doing what’s best for our family.
We still have a lot in common. Yeah, my eyes glaze over when he talks about research projects he’s doing…but that’s only a small part of our relationship.
Post # 9
I have my master’s, he has his bachelor’s. It makes absolutely no difference to us EXCEPT it kind of gave him the push he needed to pursue something that makes him happy. He saw how much I loved school and I think he wants that for himself, hence his plans for law school.
We have so much in common it’s ridiculous at times – we both love a good poop joke, so obviously that has no bearing to our levels of education.
Post # 10
In my opinion you should not be worried.
You have the advantage of being with him while he pursues this, helping him study etc. you will learn as he learns (as much as you are able to actively participate and as much as you decide you would like to).
I’m sure you two will still be able to talk about “work” and his field if you enjoy learning about it and he enjoys teachin you and discussing it with you.
My SO is in the Dental field, sometimes when he talks to me about his day at work he will begin discussing procedures and throwing around terms, but if I dont understand I just ask and he is happy to explain it to me and continue on with the conversation. It never is an issue with us.
I actually think its good that I dont know everything that he knows and he doesnt know everything that i know. He gets to teach me stuff and I get to teach him stuff too and it keeps it interesting. With my job, i’m in higher education administration, and so there are things I discuss that are not crystal clear to him either.
In addition, we are intellectual equals and have TONS in common outside of work, as well as a few things not in common, but that keeps it interesting and fun!
I really think you have nothing to be worried about, I do not see this having a hugely negative impact on your relationship.
Best of luck to you both!
Post # 11
@Happy Hopeful Bee: sometimes I dont’ think I’m worried so much as…kinda jealous that I am not going on the med school journey in the same sense? I actually find medicine and his interests REALLY interesting, but I do not have the math/science capacity to have ever persued it. That’s why I’ve already researched and brainstormed ways to help him study for stuff. That way, I could learn a bit and at the very least, identify “buzz words”. Plus, he’s told me how much he likes that I’m interested, and always encourages me to ask questions. I’m not intimidated, I think i’m just so proud and impressed by his capability and brillance that I’m like “I wanna do it too!!”
Post # 12
I don’t think it makes too much difference. Dh and I have the exact same degree from the same school and graduated at the same time and now work in the same general field at our shared workplace. If anything we have tooooo much in depth knowledge of the inner workings of each others jobs. But I think if both parties are about the same level of basic intelligence and similar in level of curiosity it Tyoically works.
Post # 13
@SapphireSun: I definitely agree. and with the PP who said there is a difference between education and intelligence. I think you’re exactly right about intelligence and curiosity play a bigger role than actual completed education.
Post # 14
@MrsDrRose612: My Darling Husband is in med school as well. Honestly? He loves that I’m not in med school. He gets sick of talking about it all day long with his colleagues, and it’s nice to talk about different topics with your spouse. That said, a lot of our conversations do revolve around medicine because like you, I’m interested in it as well. I generally tune him out (lol) when he starts getting into pathways or other highly technical jargon, but if I’m curious about a subject he brings up, it’s good practice for him to talk in layman’s terms because that is practice he needs to become a good doctor. Very few of their patients are going to have the same medical knowledge the physicians have, and therefore it’s great practice for them to educate someone who doesn’t have the same knowledge base. Talking with you will make him a better doctor to his patients.
I guess our different educational backgrounds don’t intimidate me at all. I work in finance, and have to practice the same translation of what I do for him so he can understand. If you were in med school, I’d imagine the bulk of your conversations would revolve around school/work. It’s nice to keep work and home life semi-separate. He’ll get enough of the medical chatter with his coworkers 🙂
Post # 15
My Fiance is a doctor..I’m a management consultant. He enjoys showing me horrific injury pictures which I cover my eyes and refuse to see. I hate hearing bout his cases and him doing surgery. He gets bored with financial discounted cash flows, income balance sheets and manufacturing operations and logistics…somehow it still works. We bound over tv shows and food. I guess if not for him I would never hang round medical people at all, its a very different view point from business and I appreciate it. He learns a little bit bout business from me, but he’s very business savvy himself =) So we learn different things. =)
Post # 16
My Darling Husband is ahead of me in education, but not by a ton (he’s working on his masters and a second bachelors while I’m working on my first bachelors). We still have tons in common, and we often help each other on projects, papers, etc. Technically, I shouldn’t be able to help him because he’s ahead of me, but none of his assignments have been above my head (which makes me feel a lot more confident about working on my own masters). Personally, I always felt higher education would be much harder than what it actually has been. It’s turned out to be a lot less intense than I expected, and, therefore, it doesn’t seem like nearly as big of a deal as it did. We need these pieces of paper to get a job in our chosen field, and then we’ll need a few more to continue to move up and receive raises. Personally, I only see them as a means to an end, so I don’t put very much emphasis on their inherent worth.
I don’t think education level makes a lot of difference in many conversations. However, I think intelligence level can make a lot bigger of a difference (at least in my experience). I feel that Darling Husband and I are on similar ground in terms of intelligence, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. We have different strengths but we compliment one another rather than being incredibly different. Eventually, we plan to reach the same level of education, but he will get there first. I honestly don’t see it every being an issue. We’ve been in school the majority of the time we’ve been together, so I feel confident in the fact that it won’t become a problem.