I agree with many of you, here are my thoughts:
People can be clueless about jewelry or how much sentiment can be attached to jewelry. I do also think that it’s normal for people to want to show off something they spent a lot of thought, time, and money acquiring to show how much they love their SO.
I don’t think that this guy should have let his friend try on his fiancee’s ring without the fiancee’s explicit permission. I don’t think he had ill intentions and I’d believe that he may have been clueless about how his fiancee would feel about it. At the same time, he should have read her reaction and not have doubled down on letting his friend try the ring. He should have had her back in front of the friends and subsequently apologized and told his fiancee that he wouldn’t do something like this again, because clearly the situation made her uncomfortable.
As far as the fiancee– 1) I think it was rude for her to ask the friend what was wrong with her and 2) the reaction toward the situation in private was way out of proportion and dramatic–clearly, the guy didn’t propose to his friend.
I was surprised that most of the Reddit posters were saying YTA and praising the OP’s fiancee for keeping her cool in front of the friends and also assuming that the OP’s friend had done things in the past to make the OP feel insecure. 1) I don’t think asking someone what is wrong with them for doing xyz is keeping your cool and 2) there is no evidence of the OP’s friend doing anything to warrant OP feeling insecure about the friendship. Just because someone feels insecure doesn’t mean that there’s anything going on, and without any evidence I’m not one to assume that there is something bad going on. Sometimes people are insecure/jealous for no real reason and I’ve definitely been guilty of this myself.
I did see that the Reddit OP stated that he and his female friend had never dated and it seems like they had been friends from childhood. And the comment in the Reddit post about how “she can’t say anything since I met her after C” made me think that the fiancee doesn’t want the OP to have female friends in general, but begrudgingly is ok with this friend because the OP has known her for a long time.
I’ve also been on both ends of that with feeling insecure about my relationships in the past, but the older that I have gotten the more my views on this have matured. In the past I wouldn’t feel like I could have said anything about a partner having female friends. But these days I’m more secure as a person and less jealous and I know that I definitely can trust my partner. Earlier in the relationship, I didn’t feel as secure as a person and I definitely think that that affected how I viewed my partner having friends of the opposite gender.
Yeah I completely agree with you! I have a tendency to lose things, so I also only leave my rings in designated places. But even if I trust people who are over visiting, I wouldn’t just place the ring on the living room table and leave–I’d be nervous that it could accidentally get knocked over and roll under the furniture or something.
Yeah, that’s also something I was noticing. I suspect that the sentimentality that guys have toward the ring is in some part–I bought this gorgeous thing to show my fiancee how much I love her, let me show off what a good job I did and how much this reflects my love for her.