SPINOFF: Fiance's friend trying on your ring

posted 2 weeks ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
207 posts
Helper bee

I voted “yes” in the other poll and my answer is still yes – If friends / people I like asked my to try on my ring I would happily let them. I love jewelry and I love talking about it.

As for the thread in Reddit- his future wife says she was always insecure about the other girl, and I think that’s where the problem is coming from. If it was a friend of hers that asked her herself, I bet she wouldn’t mind either.

Now when I’m thinking about it, the only person I can think of saying no to is my sister, lol. She has no regards to other people’s properties! I gave her my wedding band to try on when she asked and instead of giving it back to me she just threw it on the table in my direction. I didn’t appreciate that 🥺

Post # 17
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee

I’m coming to the conclusion that I live on a different planet to a lot of folks.  Some of those comments – the ring would be ‘ruined’, and ‘no decent girl’ would try on another woman’s ring…I mean, seriously?!!!!  I’ve lost track of the number of e-rings belonging to other people that I’ve tried on, and the only reason more people haven’t tried on mine is because Covid hit not long after I got it!

I feel really sorry for this poor guy.  And for those criticising him for not backing down as soon as he realised his fiancee was upset – the way I read the post, she was being ratty to the female guest who tried the ring, so he was saying ‘it’s ok, I told her that she could’ – i.e. he was trying to deflect/calm down her wrath by explaining the friend hadn’t just grabbed the ring without asking, he’d told her it was ok.

Can’t help feeling that anyone who reacts this immaturely (especially saying that he’d ‘proposed’ to the other girl by letting her try the ring on) is not ready to get married.  She also seems to have HUGE insecurities around this girl. I hope they deal with this pre-marriage.

Post # 18
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

It might rub me the wrong way if someone I didn’t like or who made me feel super insecure or uncomfortable tried on my ring without permission, but….chances are, in my case, such a person would not be close friends with my fiance or be over having dinner at our house. At the very least, my fiance would know how I felt about this woman and would not cross that boundary. In this case, the fiance clearly thought everyone was good friends, when his partner was harboring a secret resentment of this woman. From this story, it seems like this guy’s fiancee has a tendency toward covering up her real feelings in the moment, letting them build up, and then exploding at her partner later. That is NOT a healthy style of communication. 

Either she really is this much of an insecure mess, in which case they as a couple and she as an individual should really spend some time dealing with that, or she’s seen WAY too many sitcoms in which female insecurity and passive aggression is considered “cute”. Either way, her reaction leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

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