Post # 1
So the other thread got me to thinking (no, I didn’t hurt myself, ha!). It seems that the general consensus amongst ladies who don’t “get” waiting, or never had to, is that they got engaged within 3 years of dating. (That’s just my general observation, and an average if you will, over the course of my time here on WB. I’m sure it varies) I never considered myself to be waiting until the 3 year mark of dating. (In fact, I never even knew there was such a thing, and thought I was nuts until I googled ‘why hasn’t he proposed yet’, and it brought me here) It’s been 4 and a half, and here I still am. I’m just curious as to if there’s a correlation between the timeline of getting engaged, and not understanding waiting? Because, well, you didn’t have to. I’m also betting age is a factor as well. Fwiw, we’re both in our early 30s.
So, I’ll ask you all who never “waited”; how long were you together before your SO proposed or considered yourself engaged? Also, how old are/were you at the time?
Post # 3
I’m positive my age had everything to do with never “waiting” I was 25 and we had been dating just shy of 3 yrs. He’s also 7.5 yrs older than me so i was never concerned about him being ready.
ETA – I think if he hadn’t proposed when he did I would have started getting antsy.
Post # 4
Thank you for this thread!
To me, I never considered myself waiting. There was never a point in our relationship where I thought man I wish he would propose already!
I guess we were always on the same page? But that being said, we were together 9 years before getting engaged. But that was something we decided on together. My family was initially against us dating and it was really important to the both of us that both families be there the day of. Not only be there but genuinely happy for us on the day of. Let me tell you I would not redo it any other way. On the day of, we could just feel the love, happiness and support surrounding us. My brother who was initially the most against us gave me away and was probably more excited than I was! And close to tears giving me away.
The day was just perfect and we would have waited even longer than 9 years to have that on our wedding day.
ETA:I guess I should answer your questions! I was 27 and him 30. We were together for almost 9 years. Never really “waited” for above reasons.
Post # 5
Very interesting! Now that you point it out i totally can see the timeline thing.
I never considered myself waiting for exactly those reasons. I was 23 (he was 29) when he proposed and we had been dating for approx. 2 years.
ETA: I guess another part that made me never worry about it was that he told me within a couple months of us dating that he knew he would marry me. So I just let it go it’s course and he proposed when he was ready!
Post # 6
VERY interesting! I didn’t get to that “waiting” stage, and Fiance proposed at the 2 year 8 month mark, when I was 21 (2 months short turning 22).
When I first joined the boards, I was pretty surprised on the amount of ladies on the “waiting” boards and it stumped me why so many were getting angry or upset about their SO’s not proposing at a specified time. I thought to myself, “simmer down, your time will come! why are you wasting your emotions on something you aren’t in control of.” I even talked about it with Fiance. All he said was, “You were never in that stage. You don’t understand. There are some girls out there that have 5+ years with a guy before their proposed to!” DING! Of course. I’d probably feel the same way if I was “waiting” that long for a guy to propose!
I comend all those ladies that are in waiting for your strength to get through each day, on edge, hoping this will be the day. One day, it will be, and those days of waiting will fade away!
Edit: Fiance is 6 1/2 years older then me, so I never worried about him being ready, either. He was worried about ME not being ready. That may have sped things up as well…
Post # 7
I think you’re probably right on both points. I was 20, he was 21, and we were together for about a year when he proposed.
Post # 8
We started dating when I was 20, got engaged when I was 23, and got married when I was 25. We had also known each other for about 10 years before we started dating. Most of our friends were actually surprised it took him that long, whereas I was surprised it happened that quickly! I still had 2 years left of college (hence the long engagement) so I would have been fine if we still weren’t engaged when I was graduating. I guess it just didn’t bother me because I knew it would happen eventually, we aren’t having kids so we didn’t have a timeline factor, and we had no problem moving along (buying a house, etc) the process before marriage
Post # 9
I was never in waiting. He proposed 6 months after we started dating and we’re both in our mid-thirties.
Post # 10
We dated 2 years and 10 months before getting engaged. He only had me “waiting” a couple days after he accidentally left evidence of going to a jeweler lying around. Otherwise, I had planned on not expecting an engagement until we had been dating 4.5 years (I thought we should both finish our PhDs beforehand). We were 22 and 25 when we started dating.
Post # 11
Thanks for the feedback so far, ladies! My theory seems to be holding water……
Post # 12
Fiance and I were together a little over a year when he proposed Christmas Eve. I guess you could say that I never got to the waiting stage, though I was hoping to get married eventually. I just figured it’d happen on it’s own good time. I do admit that I was a bit shocked that it happened as early as it did. I would’ve expected after 2-3 years rather than 1.
Fiance just turned 27 three months prior to engagement and I was 23.
Post # 13
interesting thread! ill participate – we had been dating a little over a year and half – i was 24 he was 25 when we got engaged and when we got married, he turned 26 on our honeymoon 🙂
He proposed in July 2010 but that march i had signed us up for a scavenger hunt and the grand prize was a $20k engagment ring “hint hint!” so i was starting to get the itch prior to him proposing, if he waited much longer i might have found myself on the waiting boards too
Post # 15
We met online, were joined at the hip immediately, moved in together around 5 months, he proposed after 9 months, and we’ll be married around the 1.5 year mark. He’s 31 and was very up front when we started dating that he was looking for long-term and didn’t want to play around.
Post # 16
it was the day before i turned 26. we had not been dating at all at the time actually… we were just friends when we decided to get married.