(Closed) Spinoff: For those that were never “waiting”

posted 9 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 32
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I also was never in the “waiting” stage. But, my Fiance also told me 3 months in to our relationship that he knew we would be married eventually. We even talked about marraige on our first date (not in terms of to each other, just general yes we both want to get married) which I have always heard is a big no no. I think because we met when we were in our mid  20’s (I was 25 he was 27) we both pretty much knew who we were and what we wanted from a marraige. We decided after about a year of dating that we knew we wanted to get married. We bought a house and moved in together right before our 1 year anniversary and after 7 months of living together went ring shopping and found the perfect ring together. He never proposed (but I didn’t expect him to) we just came to a mutual decision that we both felt it was time to get engaged and start planning a wedding.

Post # 33
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

my BF and I have been together for 3.5 yrs and i am most definatly waiting but he has said he does want to marry me he just wants us to do things in the RIGHT order and for us in the Uk generally but us particularly that means living together 1st. so I figure I will prob be waiting for at least 3yrs for a ring and prob another 2 for a wedding. i am currnetly 24 and BF will be 29 in January. So am and will no doubt continue to wait and hint rather impatiently ;0 P

Post # 34
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

This theory does not apply to me! I never considered myself “waiting” and we were dating for 6+ years before we got engaged.

I think it was the same situation as

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@regberadaisy: and
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@pinky44:. We had talked about marriage extensively, and knew it was something we both wanted. He actually wanted to get engaged much earler in our relationship than I was ready for (like 20-21 years old). I made it clear it wasn’t even on the table until I graduated ungergrad. He proposed 6 months after I graduated undergrad, when I was 24 and he was 25.

Post # 35
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

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@regberadaisy: Girl, I know we are. We even figured out how to get knocked up the same week. 🙂

Post # 36
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Wonderwoman217: Great point! I honestly don’t think I would have considered myself waiting if he had done it before the 3-year mark. Nice observation!

Post # 37
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wasn’t ever waiting. We’d been dating almost 4 years (end of high school – his college graduation) when he proposed. I was 20, almost 21, and he had just turned 22.

Post # 38
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

I had never heard of the “waiting stage” until I got here.  We started dating a mouth shy of my 28th birthday and he proposed about 2.5yrs later. We got married 8 months later, a month after 31st birthday.  He is 2 years older than me.  I had never considered myself “waiting” but since we were a bit older we had of course discussed marriage and agreed it was in our not so distant future.  

Post # 40
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I never considered myself to be “waiting” and we were together 5 years before we got engaged.  Met in summer 2003, got engaged in spring 2008, got married June 2010.

We’re currently 28 and 30, so 25 and 27 when we got engaged.

Post # 41
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I was never in the waiting stage either. I think it was mostly because we were completely on the same page about marriage. He told me so soon after we started dating that he wanted to marry me but we decided we would wait until after we graduated and had a steady income to get engaged. I was actually completely shocked when he proposed because here we are still in school! I guess we do have a steady income though, he just couldn’t resist proposing to me cause I’m so awesome 😉 haha ok that was totally a joke! Also, we had been dating for 3 years and I was 21 when he proposed and he was 24.  I’ll be 23 when we get married in March 🙂

Post # 42
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I was never waiting and I’m pretty sure it was because of my age. We were dating for 4 and a half years before he proposed. He proposed on my 22nd birthday, a week before gradation. We had the talk before and I told him I wanted to wait until I had a well established career. I wanted to be in the working world for at least a year before anything.

That definitely didn’t happen. But now, I wouldn’t have it any other way! 🙂

Post # 43
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was never waiting with my DH.  We were engaged in less than a year and married in just under two years.  I think our age had a lot to do with it.  I was 28 when we got engaged and just shy of 30 when we were married.  DH was 37 when we got engaged and 39 when we were married.

I will say that I was with an ex for almost 7 years previously and I started feeling like I was waiting around the 3 year mark or so.  Maybe even a little earlier than that, but defintiely over 2 years together was when I really started thinking about marrying him.

Post # 44
Member
2140 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

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@pinky44:

Dang! We’re good! Wink

Post # 45
Member
481 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

While I think the amount of time you have been dating is a factor for a lot of women, I think there are a lot of other, potentially more important factors (e.g., age, where you are in your life). My fiancee and I were together for 4.5 years before he proposed and I was never “waiting” (in fact I was completely – albeit pleasantly – surprised when he proposed). But I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that we were both in graduate programs that were very long and intensive and we wanted to wait until we were done school. My fiancee proposed this past summer and we will be married next summer, the month after I finish my residency! We are both 29. 

Post # 46
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

We were together longer than your proposed timeline (5 years!) and i most certainly was not waiting.. in fact, i took a couple of days after we got engaged to make sure i was 100% ready to be married. Note, NOT to marry him, just to be married in general – there was never any doubt on that first point 🙂

I think age was definitely a factor for us though. I was 20 when we get engaged, and he was 23.

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