(Closed) Spinoff: For those that were never “waiting”

posted 9 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 47
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was never waiting…I met DH through a friend one day and we became fast friends.  I wanted to get marry, and I was hoping DH would someday want to marry me (though he didn’t believe in marriage, so I was sure I was setting myself up for a lot of waiting if I went into this with marriage on my mine)!  We met in November of 2009 and started dating two weeks later.  On our fifth date a month later (for DH birthday), we spent the night together where he asked me to marry him! On our wedding day, he gave me a card he bought me the day after our first date..it was a card that says “to my wife.” 🙂 

Post # 48
Member
7605 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Wow, I just read through a bunch (but not all) of the responses and your theory really does seem to hold water!  I am also blown away by the number of Bees who dated for such short periods before getting engaged, as well as how young some of y’all are/were!  Wow!  Obviously things happen at different times for different people and it makes it no better or worse, so I’m not judging!  I just couldn’t imagine it for me, personally.  I’m 29 and Fiance is 27 and we dated for 4 years.  I guess the last year I was “waiting” in a way, but before coming to the Hive, I had never heard of “waiting”. 🙂

Post # 49
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

View original reply
@Juliepants: I am actually surprised by my timeline as well, to be honest. I never thought I was going to get married as young as I did, espeically to someone I had known most of my life. But, things have a way of working themselves out in the time they see fit 🙂

Post # 50
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is a really interesting thread! Your theory does apply to me…Fiance proposed after we had been dating for 2 years and a few months. We were 25 and 26 at the time, so I also think that had something to do with it–we were transitioning to that “settling down” mindset and our friends were just starting to get engaged, so I never felt overly eager for a proposal. Now that our friends are getting engaged left and right, I suppose I may have felt differently if we were still dating and there was no move toward a proposal.

We were also really open about the whole process, especially after we moved in together at the 2 year mark. While the proposal was a surprise, he initiated looking at rings and we both knew we were planning on getting married.

Post # 51
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Fiance and I dated for almost a year when he proposed. I was 23 and he was 24. We’ll have almost a year of engagement before marriage. I never waited and I preferred it that way. I feel like if we know we are right for each other, then let’s get married!

Post # 52
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@ChemistryBride: At 6 years, I wasn’t waiting in the slightest. At 7, it hit me! 😉

Post # 53
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We were together almost 5 years when we decided to get married, I think.  (my math is a bit fuzzy).  I was 27.

 

I never waited because we made the decision together, and we were both on the same page, so it worked out. 

Post # 54
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

I was never waiting, though we were together for 5 months when we got engaged.

Post # 55
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@Wonderwoman217: I think its right! I never really considered myself to be waiting.. but then again Fiance proposed before the two year mark.

Post # 56
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I never considered myself waiting, and we had been together over 3.5 years when we got engaged. I was 29 at the time and he was 30.  

Post # 57
Member
2223 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think you’re on to something here. We got engaged after about 3 years of dating, granted I was completely blindsided, since I was 19!!  I probably would have been happy dating for another couple of years before I got the marriage thoughts but I knew long before that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Mr Rugbee!

Post # 58
Member
10713 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was engaged before my Fiance now and we were together 5 months when he proposed he was 20 and I was 23.

My Fiance and I now got engaged when we were both 25 after being together 10 months.

Post # 59
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I was never waiting, it just kind of happened. I’ve never really been the marriage-minded type, that was always more HIS thing than mine. He had always sprinkled bits of “forever” and “family” into conversations, especially when he was drunk, but he never even said “I love you” until 8 months after we started dating and we got engaged a month later.

Post # 60
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

I never considered myself ‘waiting.’  Probably because I was only 18 when we got engaged and also because we got engaged within 6months of dating and were always on the same page.  We always discussed getting married and one day we were just like…why wait lets just get a ring and do it now!

Post # 61
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I was never in the waiting stage and admit it really confuses me! I don’t want to offend anyone but honestly, every time I see a waiting post I can’t help but think “If they want to be married that badly, why don’t they just propose to their guys???”. I know not everyone wants to but it seems like it would really cut down on the amount of drama surrounding the will he, wont he, when will he :/ Additionally, if a guy (or gal) isn’t ready to be engaged, then why would you want to be engaged to them? Being engaged to someone who was pressured or nagged into it sounds horrible, like they’re only making this huge life altering commitment because you’re forcing them to.

For statistical purposes, DH and I were together for a month short of 8 years when he proposed. He proposed on my 23rd birthday and he was 25. I never wondered or worried about getting engaged because I knew we would when we were ready and we did. Had I wanted to be engaged sooner I would have proposed to him without hesitation once I knew he was ready. I honestly wasn’t in a hurry to be engaged but was aware of the fact that we were both ready to take the next step. We also knew we wanted to get married on our anniversary and were aware of which years it would fall on a Saturday. We got married on our 9th anniversary at 24 and 26.

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