Post # 1
I didn’t know what to call this but The Word Boyfriend thread reminded me of something that happened to me over the Christmas break.
I spent some of the time with SOs family, specifically his brother. His brother has three children the oldest two (6 and 4) are with his first wife and his youngest (6 months) with his partner. When I arrived and started saying hello to the baby (you know, like you do – “cootchie coo” type thing) they started refering to me as “Aunty Ladyartichoke” now whilst I am SOs girlfriend I am not (yet) the baby’s aunty. But I took it as a compliment, it’s nice to know they see me as part of the family, and forgot about it.
*ETA* SOs brother and his partner aren’t married so I guess it’s perfectly reasonable to refer to me, one half of an unmarried couple, an aunty. In my family we wouldn’t, but only because marriage is really important (read: I wouldn’t have children outside marriage, my mother would not approve)
When I eventually met his oldest two I was again intorduced as Aunty and the word currently was used. (in context: this is currently your Aunty Ladyartichoke) Without thinking I exclaimed “Excused me?!? What do you mean, currently?” It was meant in good humour and SOs brother took it well but it got me thinking…
I know it’s important not to confuse children so I’d rather have been introduced as “ladyartichoke, Mr-ladyartichokes girlfriend” or even just his friend rather than aunty. But i’m really happy they wanted to include me.
What about you bees? Have you ever been introduced as something you’re not? Does it bother you? Mummy and Daddy bees have you ever done this? Do you think it’s right or wrong? Have you been offended by being refered to as “a friend” in front of children?
Just wanted to get some different perspectives on this topic.
Post # 3
I have been “Aunt” to my nieces and nephews since hubs and I were just bf/gf. Also, my FIL’s FI’s daughter’s daughter (phew!) has been introduced since birth as her “Aunt”, and her mom is my SIL, her mom is my Mother-In-Law, even though none of the titles are really true, but we think of each other as family anyway
Post # 4
My Future niece calls me Aunt H.I.P. and my 30 year nephew just dropped the .. Hey Uncle Mr. H.I.P. to be a smart ass over Christmas(nephew is only a few years younger than us).
The younger nieces and nephews have been calling him Uncle for awhile. I do have to admit it was weird hearing FSIL’s SO asking me if Aunt H.I.P. wanted to hold the newest baby.
It felt weird the first time Future Mother-In-Law introduced me as her DIL but it was really nice. I guess as far as Uncles and Aunts of FI’s, I’ll call them what he does.
Post # 5
I see where you’re coming from OP.
With Fiance, even before we were engaged, his cousins all called me their cousin and I was aunty to their kids. Now that we’re ebgaged, Future Father-In-Law has asked me to call him dad, and Future Mother-In-Law refers to ehrself as “mom” on emails, but I’m still in the habit of calling them by their first names. I’ve noticed a lot of fam’s throw the word “Aunty” around pretty freely, I’m an “aunty” to many of my close GF’s friends.
Post # 6
I don’t think it bothers me a huge amount I just find it all a bit odd. But this is the first serious relationship I’ve been in where there are nieces and nephews.
I think you’ve hit the nail on the heasd, it’s just weird. I’m not used to hearing it.
You’re right about the term aunty. I guess it depends on the family 🙂
It’s definitely very nice to be thought of and included as family!
Post # 7
When I was younger a lot of my Dad’s friends were called Uncle so-and-so and I still call them that. They never were nor ever will be actually related, but they’re still my uncles. They are just important men in my life.
Post # 8
it might be a culture thing? I always refer to my mom’s friends as uncle or aunty so-and-so. It was horrible visiting friends in UK & US because I couldnt bear to call anyone a generation older than I by their given name to their face. I call them Mr or Mrs or Ms so-and-so but… that felt weird too because I didn’t want it to seem like I was being unfriendly or standoffish. I just want to be respectful.
I still struggle with this. Especially if there are silly situations like surnames of ex’s or maidennames or it sounding naughty. *sigh* I just point out what I do back in my country if people get confused at my confusion. 🙂
Post # 9
This made me think of something – has anyone ever seen little kids call non-related friends of the family “Miss”? Some of my mom’s friends’ kids used to call her Miss Nancy (not her real name, just an example). I think for kids, it’s just nice to have some form of respect shown in what they call their “elders,” whether it’s Miss/Mr. or Aunt/Aunty/Uncle. @ladyartichoke:, maybe you’d feel more comfortable if they referred to you as Miss Ladyartichoke rather than Aunty Ladyartichoke?
By The Way the “Miss” was not an indicator of singlehood/marriage. It was used whether or not my mom was married. And it was always used with her first name, like Miss Nancy, not Miss Smith. That would be way too formal.
Post # 10
This doesn’t have children involved but it made me think of how my boyfriend’s SIL calls me her SIL all the time and refers to herself as being my SIL. Sometimes I don’t say anything but when she tells strangers I am her SIL I correct it, I am not even engaged.
I refer to my Uncle’s new wife as my Aunt, her daughters as cousins and they refer to me as being her grandchild’s Aunt. None of this is technically correct, he was married to my Mom’s sister but they divorced when I was 18, he was like a second father so to me and my family he is still 100% my Uncle.
So labels aren’t that big of a deal in my family, clearly.
Post # 11
They call me a bitch and I call them hoes… (jk about what I call them but they DO call me that)
Anyhow. Yes, DH’s family all spells my name wrong although it’s a common spelling and some reason they have spelled my name the uncommon way for a year or two. It’s annoying.
I don’t correct them but try to make a point to sign my name nice and BIG whenever I can.