(Closed) SpinOff: Have you and your SO talked about eachothers end of life wishes?

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We have discussed it extensively.  Darling Husband has a very dangerous job (top 5 most dangerous) so End of Life is a big deal in our house, especially with his ex dying young of a drug over dose.  We also have been very specific as we both have polar opposite views on the subject.  We had to come to a consensus that it isn’t about what we as the spouse want, it is about what the ill spouse wants, no matter how tough that decision would be.

Post # 4
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

we have talked about being a Donor.  But other then that…..no.  It is probably something we should discuss actually.  You never know whats going to happen hey.

Post # 5
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

We have talked about it briefly, last year my Fiance had testicular cancer and becamse diabetic so there was a slim chance of his demise… There are still a lot of details that we need to work out once we get married..but i work in financial planning so those details will be easy for us to sort out and execute.

Post # 6
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Absolutely. Neither of us want to be kept artificially alive when no path back to normalcy is available. We’ve actually discussed the idea of, when we’re very old and hurt all the time and feel like we’d be OK with going, just eating a bunch of pills and going to sleep together. Which I realize is SUPER-macabre, but in a way it sounds sort of nice.

We both want, in the case of a timely death, to have a “green” burial. Pine box, no embalming fluid, buried on specific plot of land set aside for that kind of burial, and over time you go back to the soil. If that’s not possible, then I want my body to go to science. And if that’s not possible either, then I think we both just want to be cremated and scattered… wherever.

Post # 7
5073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

yes, we have talked about it in depth and both know what the other person wants.  Our family members know as well in case something happens to us at the same time (car accident, etc)

Post # 8
4038 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We don’t have iron-clad plans written down (although we’re planning on doing so before this baby is born), but we’ve had this talk on more than one occasion. He knows how I want it to be handled. and vice versa. It was really important for me that he know exactly how I want it to be handled, because I don’t trust any of my family to respect my last wishes, but I know my husband will. 

Post # 9
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yep, we have – and in fact, it was the topic of conversation along with organ donation at a dinner party last night.  (3 grads from bioethics masters programs, the topic is bound to come up.  1 of those people is also a peds speciality doctor, and we had 2 other peds speciality doctors at the dinner).  The only non-science/health person there was very weirded out by the conversation.

It’s on my to-do list to get it all written down.  I’ve spent years reminding my parents of my wishes (e.g. to not live as a vegetable, to donate anything and everything that I can), soon it’ll be time to remind FI!

Post # 10
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No we haven’t. It hasn’t come up.

Post # 11
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yes we’ve talked about it a few times. We both know what we would do for each other if those decisions ever needed to be made. It’s good to have an advanced directive though, I know DH’s mom would rather he live as a vegetable and I wouldn’t want to have to fight to have him taken off of life support.

Post # 12
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

We’ve talked about it a few times.  We know what each other wants done with our remains.  We discussed what would happen relationship-wise in the future if one of us passes. 

Post # 13
2755 posts
Sugar bee

No, but I plan to soon. Last week, a construction worker in my office building was killed in an accident – he was just a year older than me at 25 and left behind a fiancé. I can’t imagine how horrible it’d be to lose my Fiance (or have him lose me) now or down the road without any kind of preparations being made. It is a really tough discussion to have, because nobody wants to think about the end of their life – but it’s necessary. Right now, my mom is my proxy but once we’re married I plan to transfer that to him. If he wishes to do the same, great, but I will let him decide who he wants to have that power.

Post # 14
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We just broached this subject… we’re young and it seems like we’re invincible and all, but in light of the 20-person mass car accident that just happened in our city, I feel we should keep in mind that it can happen to anyone. Before that, we’d discussed it but not made any ironed-out plans.

Post # 15
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’ve discussed some things (wanting to be a donor, not wanting to be kept artificially alive if there is no hope of returning to normalcy, etc) but haven’t covered everything (burial vs. cremation, type of funeral wanted, etc).

I’m sure before we have kids we will get it all ironed out and written down (along with what would happen to our assets and who would take care of our child(ren) should we both be taken together).

Post # 16
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

We talk pretty candidly about it. I’m in health care and FI has a dangerous career. We have both seem some pretty difficult things that has shaped how we see things. For us, end of life issues is an easy discussion (not easy as in not important but easy as in not a difficult topic to bring up/talk about/etc). We each know what the other wants/doesn’t want and why. We’re fortunate in that we both share the same opinions about such things so I think that will help us if it ever gets to that point to follow through with what the other person wants.

The topic ‘SpinOff: Have you and your SO talked about eachothers end of life wishes?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors