[SPINOFF] Have You Ever Been the Other Woman?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Have you ever been the other woman
    Yes but I didn't know, found out after, and will comment below and tell a juicy story : (34 votes)
    23 %
    Yes and I did know, will comment below and tell a juicy story : (26 votes)
    18 %
    More than once, both knowingly and unknowingly and I will comment below and tell a juicy story : (10 votes)
    7 %
    Never that I know of : (77 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 47
    98 posts
    Worker bee

    I don’t know if this counts but it’s the closest I’ve ever been to being the other woman.

    I was in school for trades. Was the only girl in a group of 40- so I got attention. I was there to learn and really didn’t care about how hard guys were ‘trying’ to talk to me. 

    I found my group- smarties I guess… we studied together and rocked exams and shops. There was one guy in particular- I like him as a friend. We were both nerdy- liked the same movies, books, activities- so I guess we became best friends in school and lasted a little bit after we got our tickets.

    I knew he was having issues at home with his wife. He always vented about her and their situations- along with their child and the differing opinions they had on raising him. Which made me uncomfortable. I listened, tried to offer advice- but always said ‘have you said this exact thing to your wife? It might help’. He would answer no- he only felt comfortable talking to me.

    I withdrew myself from our friendship- didn’t hang out as much. I didn’t want to get more involved. As someone who had been cheated on- I feared I was wondering into the same territory in hurting another woman. And I knew it hurt from experience.

    One day- I received a text from him asking to meet up. I said- sorry- busy with work and friends weddings (was in two one weekend after the other lol- and it was coming up fast!)

    He sent a long text- saying he had feelings for me and if his marriage was going the way he ‘thought’ it was going. Would I be interested in becoming his girlfriend. Whole bunch of other stuff in there that was just ‘uggghhhhhhh!….’

    I replied back- none to nicely “Finish what you started before moving onto the next!” Maybe it was harsh- but I didn’t care. Blocked his number, social media etc. Haven’t talked or seen him since- don’t care to either. My opinion of him dropped when he sent that message.

    Post # 49
    271 posts
    Helper bee

    I hope so! I should have stayed away from him since he was the first one I dated after my ex husband tried to kill me and they had the same first name!

    Post # 50
    559 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    PrincessPeach13 :  nothing. I didn’t find out she had seen us until the next day. I guess she was texting him all night and then showed up at his place, while I was still there the next morning… I stayed in the bedroom until she left and I GTFO.  

    Post # 53
    2981 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Yes, I did. I never knew the real truth. It was a guy that I occasionally worked with and he told me that he was “separated.” We would occasionally see each other when he’d come to town on business. We called each other a lot during work hours. 

    He continued the “separated” story for awhile, but then told me his wife was upset when she found something from me in his wallet. I really don’t know if they were ever “separated,” living separately, or anything. It turns out he had a kid or two as well.

    I was head over heals with him for awhile. I thought we had some kind of magical connection. He later told me that he was trying to work it out with his wife and he was going for treatment for a sex addiction. It certainly wasn’t my finest moment. 

    Post # 54
    10107 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    View original reply
    PrincessPeach13 :  

    I was the other woman in my own divorce  proceedings…..

    We were separated, – I left him after his cheating , had filed for divorce  and divorce proceedings  were under way . However , we still occasionally secretly met up  and ended up in bed ( I know, I know, what can I say , we were both ridiculously young and actually still loved each other ) 

    The secret was not as well kept as we thought and the occasions and evidence of adultery given in court were me , designated ‘an unknown woman ‘ . 

    Post # 55
    2115 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    PrincessPeach13 :  I grew up in a small town. I got super drunk at a party and make out with a married man when i was 17. His wife found out and so did the whole town. I got a bad reputation after that. he was like 30 idk. I felt so bad and people assumed we slept together. truth is my dad died the week before and I was just getting wasted all the time. I had only slept with one guy at the time and it was his cousin. didnt go over well with him either. But that made me stop drinking and i never did anythign with anyone elses dude again.

    Post # 56
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    Yeah, I’ve been the other woman. I met a man who was married, still living with his wife but not sharing rooms anymore. I told him right away, I would’t be his affair and that if he wanted me, he’d have to tell her. We dated for a few months until he told her and the kids. She moved out a while later and they got a divorce. We were together for a couple of years; after that until I understood the level of his douchebaggery. I left him and broke off all contact. Funny thing though: while I’m not on speaking terms with him, I do occasionally speak to his ex-wife and we’ve even had dinner together (with the kids).

    Post # 57
    9575 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    PrincessPeach13 :  yes, she found out… and then flew back to our college town the same week to reclaim her man-hoe.

    Post # 58
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    A couple of times, but I was never in a long term relationship with either of the “rogues”. The first time was a guy I met in a bar; he was from overseas and was traveling around the country with his friend. He kissed me and invited me to stay the night but he was sharing a room with his friend so I passed on that. We texted for a few weeks but I didn’t agree to meet up with him again – maybe it was intuition: I was later reading their traveling blog and there were a lot of shout outs to my Lothario’s girlfriend back home…

    The second time was a one night stand (I have actually had  fewer of these than this post might suggest!), I was out of town and went back to this guy’s dorm room, we had a nice night and while he was having his shower the next morning I saw some of his recent birthday cards on display, including a huge lovey-dovey one – and yes, I snooped 🧐 i casually mentioned to him that it was a nice card, he said it was from his ex-girlfriend…right 😂 

    I felt bad for the girlfriends, and i think the fact that these guys could do this so casually and, I believe, frequently did taint my view of men, although I’m sure there are women who are just the same.


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