bostonbee2018 : yes. I lost a friend, Sarah, of 20 years. She and my sister and I were best friends since being teenagers. We were bridesmaids for each others wedding until it was my turn. At this time, my sister and Sarah had moved across states and each had a 1 year old child. When I announced my marriage is coming, Sarah was assuming she would be bridesmaid and her daughter a flower girl. So, I asked her, even though I wondered to my sister while doing so, will she “flake out”? For in the past 10 years she had “ghosted” at times, even once when I drove across the country to see her. Would not tell me the address to meet her. No explanation ever for ghosting beyond to say she had extreme PMS. Now, to travel with a young child across state line, and I know she did struggle with post partum, and with feeding the child (even to the time that CPS investigated, the baby was so thin) seemed a lot. However she was so excited. So I asked it of her, she posted a video on Facebook for all the world to see her daughter is going to be a flower girl.
She was so helpful to me in the beginning helping find location for the marriage. Then, 5 months before, she fought with my sister over a silly thing on Facebook. Sarah made a comment like “wow” on a news item – this is how it got in our newsfeed. Someone, X, commenting on the news item said some thing sexist. Another stranger, Y, told X to kill themselves. My sister commented to Y that they shouldn’t tell people to kill themselves online, and especially not to do it while Y had their employer name on their public view for all the world to see. My sister did not mean to defend the sexist X, only to say, do not encourage any one to suicide. Sarah then jumped in to say how offended it was to her, especially to bring up Y’s employer. It is creepy to comb their profile and rude, you can get them fired. Anyway, it was a big fight and carried off Facebook. My sister apologized a few time. 1st to Sarah direct. Then Sarah said, no, do it in public. So my sister did. Still, not accepted.
It was strange and silly to me, and I assume that it will blow over by wedding day. A problem is that my sister was maid of honor, and Sarah would not respond to her calls or texts. So, I called, messaged, to confirm things regarding bridesmaid dress, the makeup, hotel I was buying for bridesmaid and so on. She will never respond.
I still send her an invitation, and still she will not respond if she will even come. I expressed in unanswered message how I did not understand, the silly fight had no thing to do with me. No response. I lost money for bridesmaid dress, flower girl dress, flowers, make up, for the reason I did not want to cancel in the case she answered.
3 week before wedding she responded, to say her husband had gotten a transfer from the military to other base and with the move she could not come to marriage at all. She said she felt like a bad friend, however she did not answer about the wedding because she did not want to risk more fight with my sister.
I accepted the apology in print, but in my heart no. Her word reminded me of all the time she ghosted on me before, and the way that I served her as a friend and received no thanks, only mistreatment.
My sister and her are back friends now talking every day. However I did not respond to any communication from her and we do not speak for nearly a year now. It is terrible to leave a friend of 30 years however I do not want to be friends any more.