(Closed) Spinoff: Hilarious Date Stories.. share yours!!!

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 47
4621 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FauxBoho:  hahaha…who is he? curious aussie bee here…..

was it kochie????

JokingTongue Out

Post # 48
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@bbfyso:  YOU WIN indeed!!!

Post # 49
342 posts
Helper bee

These are so funny!

I have one: It was a year after high school. I ran into a guy I barely knew during high school at his brother’s funeral. Yes, his 22yr old brother had some genetic heart condition and died. I went to the funeral, because he was my sister’s friend. Right after the funeral, during the reception, he asks me if I want to go out.

WHO asks a girl out at their brother’s funeral? And, for that matter, I couldn’t turn him down! His brother had just died! So, I said sure. The date was just really weird. We got to a nice Italian resteraunt, and he opens his menu and says, “You can order anything you want.” Then he looks at the right side of the menu with the pricier seafood type of dishes, and proceeds to say…”Except for anything on this side of the menu…”

After we ate, he reaches into his pocket and unfolds a peice of paper with a poem that he wrote about me earlier that day. Not a simple litle poem. It was an entire page long, and personalized for me. Then he pulls out a Simon and Garfunkel CD and tells me he wants me to “borrow it, and give it back to him when I want.”…OK

He then asked me if I wanted to go back to his parent’s house to go swimming. Uhm…no…I’m sure you’re parents are still grieving and I have to go!


There was this guy that used to come into the bar that I bartended at and asked me out constantly. I refused for a long time when finally, I agreed. He picked me up at my house and we drove to a steakhouse. It wasn’t weird. Conversation was OK. We ordered drinks, but before we ordered our food, he excused himself to go to the bathroom. I don’t know if he snuck out the window, or what, but he didn’t come back. I waited a while, when finally, and employee told me, “Your date wanted me to tell you that he wasn’t having a good time and he left.” HE LEFT! I drank my drink, and his, paid the bill and had to call a friend to come pick me up!

He never showed up at my bar again…

Post # 50
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The first thing I thought of was one of the last dates I went on before meeting my Darling Husband…

This guy was a gorgeous, Greek physical therapist who was working on becoming a pilot… and he seemed so sweet and funny. When he asked me out to dinner, I thought ‘why not?’ 

He came to pick me up and we went to dinner. Things were going really well and we seemed like we were really hitting it off. Then, as we were eating dinner and talking, he interrupted me to point out a baby behind us. Then, dead seriously, he said ‘I want ten kids.’ TEN. I thought he was joking because 1.) I found it absurd and 2.) I thought it was an unwritten rule to not talk about children on the first date, so I laughed it off. He just glared at me and told me he was serious.

Next, we were going to the movies, but had some time to kill. So, I suggested walking around the mall, which he declined and instead took me to a hunting/fishing store. At this point, I was like ‘wtf?’

When we got to the movie, he paid for me and we sat down. He asked if I wanted popcorn and I said ‘yes.’ His response? ‘So, go and get it.’ Ughhh. I went and got and paid for my own popcorn, which he ate most of. Needless to say, I couldn’t get out of his car fast enough and there was no second date. 

Post # 51
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@honie309:  On a first date, this guy took me out to a really fancy restaurant. We hit it off at a party and I couldnt wait to finally go on a date with him. But…. he brought his best friend along!! I couldnt believe it. I felt like a third wheel the whole night.  

Post # 52
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsLobizon:  There are so many wonderful stories, but you win! Who brings their mother on a date?

Threadjack: In Australia we have a reality show called “Please Marry my boy”. Several girls meet the one guy.. and his mother! And the mother watches the dates and chooses who goes through. It’s simulataneously awful and unmissable. It’s returning soon and I can’t decide whether I can bear to watch it.

Post # 53
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@paula1248:  It was so bizarre!! I wasn’t into the guy at all, but I felt bad b/c his mom was there. I am not a fan of meeting parents right away, let alone first date. SO awkward!

Post # 54
2902 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@cmsgirl:  lol no, not quite as famous (or old) as Kochie 🙂

Post # 55
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I know this an old thread, but it’s hilarious and I decided to add my own. I apologize for the length, but it dragged on past the 1st date.

Late into my senior year of college, I joined match.com. I started talking to guy from there and we made plans to go out on a Thursday night about 2 weeks before my graduation. He was from Peru, but had been living in the US for several years. We met at a bar, and I was running about 15 min late. When I got there, he had a glass of wine at a table, so I ordered one as well. In total, he had 2.5 glasses of wine (that I saw).

We were sitting at a square table, at the corners next to each other. He started moving his chair closer and closer, and it was making me uncomfortable so I was moving mine away. There was a wall on the other side of me, so there was only so far I could go. He then leaned over and tried to kiss me, and I pulled away. He then started telling me that he loves me and want to convert to Judiaism for me. We literally knew each other for 2 hours at that point. He went to the bathroom, and I texted a friend to come “save” me as I was completely creeped out. He was gone for a really long time, and the waitress came by to tell me that “my friend” couldn’t walk straight and got kicked out. My friend was already on her way, so she asked me to wait for her and we could hang out. So, I covered the bill, took his coat and phone, and went outside. I figured he’d be there, I’d give him his stuff, and walk down the street.

He was no where to be found outside, so I just stood at the entrance waiting for my friend. About a minute when by and I saw him walking back towards me. He came up to me and said “I started walking home, but then I remembered that I love you, so I came back.” Who says that??? Anyway, at that point my friend pulls up. He then goes to her and says, “I have a problem, please advise me.” She asked what the problem was, and he responded “I love this girl, tell me how to get her.” I forget what she said, but I basically left at that point.

So this was back in the day when I used to be logged onto AIM 24/7, and basically had an away message up regardless of whether I was at the computer or not. So every day he would IM me, and I ignored him. The following Sunday was mother’s day, and he sent me a message along the lines of “God bless your mother for having such a wonderful daughter, happy mother’s day.” Then the following evening he called me when I was already in bed. I let it go to voicemail, and woke up the next morning to a cut off voicemail and an hour monologue (I looked at the timestamps) to my away message. It was all over the place, and pretty weird. He was trying to convince me he wasn’t an alcoholic (never said he was), that he wanted the date to be perfect, he was hoping I wasn’t ignoring him, etc etc. He begged me to let him know if I wasn’t interested (I thought it was pretty clear). He ended it with a link to a youtube for the music video to the song “I’m all out of love I’m so lost without you.” I ended up IMing him the next day and saying not interested. He told me he loved me in 2 hours, if that’s not creepy, I don’t know what is. Not to mention getting kicked out of the bar on a 1st date….

He then ordered 2 dozen roses to my house with another apology card (weekend of my graduation and birthday). He tried to IM me a few more times, but eventually gave up.

Post # 56
982 posts
Busy bee

@honie309:  I met this guy on an online dating site, we decided to have tea and go see a movie. He made me feel a little uneasy – he seemed to laugh at everything, funny or not. When the movie was finished, he walked me to my car and asked if I could drop him home – the next town over! He had initially lied about where he’d parked his car, before admitting that he’d gotten a friend to drop him off because he lost his licence drink driving (ugh!). I said I was sorry, but I was heading the other way and that he might have to get his friend to pick him up. He ended up walking home. I felt kinda bad until I found out some time later that he lost his job due to numerous sexual harassment complaints! So glad I refused to give him a ride!

Post # 57
1579 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I went on a “date” in high school with this guy I was crushing on. We both did sports after school so we’d hang out every once and a while but one day he asked me if I would like to go to a show with him one night. I said sure and was so excited about our date, i didn’t think to ask what kind of shOw it was. I never asked for or saw my ticket. So the night rolls around and he calls about an hour before  its supposed to start (and when im planning on him coming to pick me up) and asks when I plan on being there. I hadn’t realized he expected me to drive myself and meet him there! But I drove there anyway and meet him…at a church…with his entire family. And it wasn’t just a regular church, it was one of those gigantic theater/stage/production churches. I Was not happy about any of but I hoped it would get better. It didn’t. I ended up watching a TWO HOUR play about who is worthy to go to heaven and who is going to hell. It was graphic and extremely uncomfortable (imagine a teen mom holding a baby coming down the stairs. Jesus takes her baby and sends it up to heaven while the devil comes in and DRAGS the teen mother to hell while she screams. Two hours of this!). I was mortified but my date was clapping along, raising his hands up in prayer and all that. I couldn’t sneak out because we were in the front and sandwiched by his parents. So after the play ends, the preacher decides to do an impromptu “saving” event where everyone is expected to run to to the stage to be “saved”. Now, I’m already insanely uncomfortable and not interested in getting “saved” (especially after the things i just saw!) and im praying my date doesn’t go up but to my horror, they’re the first ones up there!! the entire theater gets on stage to be saved and I am the only persOn left in the audience. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. People start clapping and praying for me (including my date) and I end up faking am important phone call and high tailing it out of the church. I didn’t tell anyone what happened for years, I was so embarrassed!!! 

i ended up avoiding him for a week at school. When I tried to break up with him, he was too busy playing video games to talk to me. He then decided to break up with me (werent we already broken up?) a few days later because I got kicked off the cheer leading team And he wasn’t dating a cheerleader anymore. He was something else. 

I went to work the next day and a superhot sweet guy bought me a pumpkin spice latte to cheer me up. I ended up marrying him 🙂

Post # 58
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

A friend with questionable judgment set me up on a blind date once. Within 15 minutes of meeting, the guy tells me that he just got out of rehab. No, thanks.

My Future Mother-In-Law has a crazy story. Her first date with my Future Father-In-Law was a drive-in porn movie. They’re still together 33 years later. /shrug.

Post # 59
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Oh gosh this still haunts me…my Darling Husband and I were out of high school.  We had started dating in high school and then I moved.  We never really broke up and just visited from time to time.  So each visit was like a date.

Anyway, he took me to the beach.  I was wearing white pants.  We climbed up on some rocks and watched the sunset, went out for pizza, slept over at his parents, and then he drove me back to my town, we stopped for breakfast. 

I get to my dorm and I’m hanging out for a bit and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and my whole butt was covered in dirt from sitting on the rocks the night before.  I didn’t bring a change of clothes and had spent the whole time in those damn white pants…and he DIDN’T TELL ME!!!! 

I have this memory of being in front of him at the restaurant for breakfast, it was a walk-up counter.  And I was leaning up against the counter…gah.

For years he said he didn’t even notice…now he just laughs and says he didn’t know what to say. 🙁

Post # 60
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I really wish I had a funny story to tell… My Hubby to Be had a fun pre-date experiance though.

He was getting a hair cut and tips put in (Yay for the 90’s!!), and he was talking to his mate how much he was excited about our date.

We had been flirting for ages and had been BFF’s from the age of 9! (Yes enter cliche Rom-Com Movie here!)

So as he is talking about our ‘Hot Date’, the hair dresser starts to flirt with him, really badly. Leaning over behind him so he could see in the mirror that her (.)(.) are nearly falling out, winking and slowly licking her lips… She was a nice looker (his mates words) but just plain creepy!

He was horrified!! His mate though was pretty much pissing himself laughing.

I laughed a lot too when he was retelling me the story and I am sure he embelished a bit.

I tease him now when he wont go to the hairdresser any more, he gets me to shave his hair!


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