(Closed) Spinoff: How many uninvited guests showed at your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

luckily we didn’t have any! i had a friend RSVP plus one but his date bailed so he brought a friend of his that we had hung out with several times. i was suprised but also pretty pumped to see him there. other than that we got pretty lucky! if anyone else showed up that wasn’t invited i didn’t notice haha.

Post # 4
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m not married yet but my sister got married a few years ago. 1 uninvited guest showed up to her’s. It was the ex-wife of one of our uncles/grandmother of the flowergirl so she felt entitled to be there.

Post # 5
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We had a some people respond on the RSVP with uninvited guests. It said “Mr. and Mrs. XYZ” not “XYZ Family!” or a few single friends got their invites and rsvped with 2. I called the people up and explained that we didn’t have the space and would accomodate once more RSVP’s came in. In the end we had 100% attendance by the YES rsvp-ers with no crashers! 🙂

 

Post # 6
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We had about 6 or 7 people show up who weren’t invited and about 2 couples who RSVP’d “no” but showed up anyway…luckily there were about 20 no-show’s as well so everyone had a seat.

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MadameTussaud: We had about 2 uninvitd guests show up at our wedding. One drove 15 hours without an invited. we didn’t know he wanted to come! Considering we had 40, yes 40, who RSVPed yes never show up we had plenty of room.

I smiled at them and welcomed them. I was just soo happy to be married to my love I didnt care. We had the room.

If people show up uninvited, all you can do is say “Your name is not on the list but if you want to wait around let us see if a seat opens up”.

Post # 8
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

Zero.  We also had just one couple as a no-show. 

Post # 9
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We had about 7 crashers, but luckily several guests who RSVP’d yes didn’t show up.

Post # 10
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think I had like 3 or 4.  One relative that I didnt send an invite to because my mom said she wouldn’t be able to come anyways… I guess she could haha.  Then my brother had some friends that just showed up… I wasn’t happy about that (esp when he ditched out on pictures to hang out with them). It evened out with the no shows though, so in the end it was fine.

Post # 11
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

umm none…this happens?! If anyone uninivited showed up to my wedding, I certainly didn’t know about it!

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

None. But we had a destination wedding so I really didn’t think anyone would travel all that way just to crash.

Post # 13
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This stresses me out too….if extra people ‘show up’…what are you supposed to say to them?! I mean, there won’t be a meal prepared for them…are they supposed to sit without food? Do they find themselves asking the venue for a seat at a random table?

 Plus it’s like saying hey, I know weddings are expensive but I thought i’d be ok to add further to your expenses by bringing this unknown with me! Now please just accomodate my demands on your wedding day! Surely before the wedding is the time to announce someone uninvited is coming!

Post # 14
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ticatica: All you can say is “I’m sorry but your name is not on the list. You can wait to see if a seat opens up”

They are the ones in the wrong, not you.

Post # 15
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We sort of had one, in a family of four, a brother didn’t come, so a girlfriend did instead.  Considering we were paying for the plate anyway, I really didn’t care at all.

However, that’s also a family where the offspring weren’t invited but RSVP’d yes, so hey.  

Just one no-show, but he emailed me two days before to say he’d been in a (fairly minor, he’s fine) car crash and wouldn’t be able to make it.  

Post # 16
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We had no uninviteds… one person asked if her teenage daughter could bring a friend (nicely and not presumptively) a few days before the wedding, we had a couple of health related cancellations so I said sure.

We had bad weather the morning of the wedding so there were several (probably 8?) no shows not counting the 4 guests who couldn’t make it because of either their own or a loved one’s illness.

I honestly wouldn’t have noticed an uninvited guest though. There were several of my husband’s family members there who I didn’t recognize, so I probably would have just thought it was one of them.

In regard to what happens if uninviteds show up: We had a buffet so it was no biggie to feed extra people (we had a ton of left over food too). I’ve planned large scale plated dinners before (e.g. charity events) and the caterers make a few extra entrees in the event that there are additional people added, then you just squeeze them in at a table. You don’t pay for the extra dinner because it’s actually included in your total number that you order.

I have no idea if they do the same thing catering weddings which are a little different from charity galas, but it’s more embarassing for the caterer to run out of food than it is for you, so I would assume they would make it work.

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