(Closed) SPINOFF: How often do you turn down your partner? (POLL)

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: How often do you turn your partner down?

    Almost never. I go for it even if I'm not really in the mood.

    Infrequently. Maybe once or twice a month I'm just not into it.

    Regularly. I decline at least once a week.

    Frequently. I'm not into it most of the time.

    I have the higher sex drive of the two of us!

    Almost Never. We have really well matched sex drives.

  • Post # 31
    3088 posts
    Sugar bee

    Almost Never.

    Post # 32
    448 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Never. I have a much higher sex drive than he does. When we are together (we don’t live together yet), we’ll usually have sex 1-3 times per day, but it’s not uncommon for him to come out of the shower afterwards to find me … um … continuing the action in his absence. He just laughs. Apparently his prior partners were all more reserved, so no complaints!

    Post # 33
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    I’d say apart from when I’m on my period, I’ll decline twice-ish a month. And most of it is just time-related. Like, we’ll be lounging around ALL NIGHT and then he’ll initiate at like MIDNIGHT. I’m like dude, I was just doing nothing for 5 whole hours… why now when I’m about to go to sleep? LOL!

    Like someone else above has said, if I decline, I usually will follow it up with a promise for the next day just so I don’t leave him hanging and it causes anticipation at least for the following day. I’m also like someone else above… sometimes I’m just feeling indifferent and may be half in the mood/half not. But I just go for it anyway and 9 times out of 10, I’m glad I did. 😉



    Post # 34
    227 posts
    Helper bee

    I think on balance almost never. We know each other well enough to know when we’re up for it. 

    Post # 35
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

    It’s so good to not be the only one with a high sex drive on here, I NEVER decline, it’s always the other way round, my partner has an under active thyroid and it affects his sex drive majorly. If we have it once every week it’s a good month.

    i don’t initiate anymore as being turned down is sad. 

    Its good to not be alone.

    Post # 36
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have the higher drive, but I will turn him down sometimes during that time of the month. He is understanding if I feel like crap, but there are times I have done it for him even when I wasn’t in the mood.

    Post # 37
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Pretty much never. At first he’d decline when I was on my period, but he got over that (which I was very thankful for, because before I got on my birth control, I would really really want sex when on my period, I’m pretty sure due to increased hormones around that time).

    To be honest I don’t have a high sex drive, but I’m also not opposed to it. I guess the best way to describe it is that I very rarely just happen to feel like having sex (I’m more into kisses, hugs, and cuddling), but once he starts foreplay I’ll get into it. So I know that even when I am not into it when he initiates it, by the time we really start going I’ll be into it. So that’s why I don’t ever reject him, because I know that if I do reject him every time I’m not feeling it then we’d only have sex like once or twice a month, and I also know that once we DO start, I will be into it. It does help that he doesn’t have a huge sex drive either (it’s pretty consistently 2, sometimes 3, times a week that we’ll have sex, which is the perfect amount of times for me).

    The only times that I would reject him is if I’m sick or maybe if I’m really, really tired (I am always up for sex when it’s just a headache, though, because the headache always goes away during the act of sex for me which is a win-win!). However, he doesn’t initiate when he knows I’m sick or really tired.

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