Spinoff: How soon after filing for divorce can you start seeing other people?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is it okay to start seeing other people before a divorce is finalized?
    Once you've filed for divorce, the relationship is basically over; you're free to see other people : (56 votes)
    76 %
    You're still married until the divorce is finalized; it would be cheating to date anyone else : (14 votes)
    19 %
    Other (explanation below) : (4 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1128 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think legal separation is a step you’re neglecting to mention.  No?

    Post # 3
    Member
    783 posts
    Busy bee

    This is definitely a personal decision. I started dating immediately after filing

    Post # 4
    Member
    9998 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    If you’ve filed divorce, then you’re done with the relationship. Divorces can sometimes take a long time and I don’t see why you should have to pretend like you are still in a relationship just because the legal side of it isn’t done yet. If you’ve seperated and filed for divorce then feel free to start dating whenever you want, at least that’s my take on it.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3250 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    I think once the paperwork has been filed. However, I wouldn’t broadcast it until the divorce is finalized.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Once the paperwork is filed and the couple has separated. My divorce took a year and a half to finalize. I didn’t see a reason to wait – the relationship was very clearly done. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    47287 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would seek legal advice in your jurisdiction. My lawyer advised me to wait until the divorce.

    Legal reasons not to date before divorce

    As far as the courts are concerned, you are still legally married until the divorce is finalized. In states that recognize fault in a divorce case, dating during divorce can be viewed as adultery. This can affect the outcome of your divorce as far as spousal support and the eventual property settlement goes.

    Even if you have been separated from your husband for a while, dating during your divorce can be used to help prove marital misconduct during your marriage. It can look like you have questionable morals, even if you were the perfect wife during your marriage.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1356 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2027

    View original reply
    BookishBee :  I did not vote because your title question made it seem like you are asking from a legal stand point and as another bee pointed out, you need to check the law in your area. Here in the states in a no fault state, then adultery is not an issue and therefore it would be “ok” legally. 

    But your post seems like you are asking more about the ethics of it and, again, as another bee mentioned, that is a personal decision. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    3250 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    View original reply
    julies1949 :  this is a good point. 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    3250 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    View original reply
    megrays :  A handful of states do not recognize separation. It might not be an option for OP.

    Post # 12
    Member
    8751 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I would personally wait because it just sounds messier – finish handling one relationship before moving on to the next. I also wouldn’t date someone who was in the middle of a divorce, but if consenting adults are happy with another arrangement then go for it. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    9379 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    my friend’s father got married the day after his divorce was final.  he was separated from his first wife for a while, so the divorce was just the formality.

    Post # 14
    Member
    5944 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    A lot of people’s marriages end long before the papers are filed, so yeah, personal choice I guess. In that, maybe people will look down on you and maybe that would bother you.

    Post # 15
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    And thats why cheaters “always” say they are separated, because apparently the majority of peolpe think it’s acceptable to date a married person if he or she is separated. I think you should wait and finish with one relationship before starting a new one, in every sense of the word.

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