(Closed) *SPINOFF* How to say this nicely?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is going to get you in so much trouble!!

1. People are not going to remember that you said that on the RSVP. Which means that they will still show up, and the problem will not have been solved.

2. The problem not being solved will lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, not enough chairs, not enough food/booze/cake, and will create drama long after the wedding.

Just do the RSVP followup. We all had to do it. It isn’t a big deal.

Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You can use the line after contacting non-RSVPers once. It’s rude to start out with it. You say “Hi Aunt Sally, it’s bride! We still haven’t received your RSVP for our wedding. If we don’t hear from you by Friday, we’ll put you down as a no. Hope Uncle Sal is well!”

Post # 5
Member
853 posts
Busy bee

I have to agree with the PP. I think if it were anything but a wedding, writing that would be fine. But why risk the hassle and stress that might come about if there’s a misunderstanding? How awful would it be to have 20 extra people show up at your wedding, unexpectedly? It would be a lot more awful than having to make a phone call one day to confirm who is and isn’t coming. I think you should follow up on RSVPs just to save yourself the stress of the uncertainty.

Post # 6
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

While I appreciate your sentiment, and I do, I don’t think this solves the problem,as crayfish said.  And I know I will be fuming as i call to track down the people who didn’t rsvp…..I think it’s the rudest thing in the world to not bother your ass to rsvp to someone’s WEDDING.  But alas, some people were raised by wolves….LOL

p.s. no judgement against wolves.  

Post # 8
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m still doing an RSVP follow-up for ours, but on the FB page (I made an event on there so people could easily click yes or no) I posted that I had to finalize things on whatever date and to please let me know if they could make it, couldn’t, or if they were still working on babysitters or work schedules, and then said that I was worried there wouldn’t be enough chairs.  It worked, because if you tell people they might not be able to sit down, they’ll get off their ass and respond LOL.  But this was a way more casual thing (and wedding) than most, so I can’t say I’d recommend it…just throwing it out there.  

Post # 9
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

You can’t assume they are not coming.  You have to do what crayfish said!

Post # 10
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

‘RSVP or die’

hehe….kidding.

Post # 11
Hostess
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I have to agree with the PP. Typically for parties (like the bridal shower) those that don’t RSVP you are supposed to assume they are coming. Can you imagine the stress of having to accommodate 20 or so people at the last moment? Oy vey!

I would instead put in the time to contact each person individually to get an answer. I had to do it and many other brides have done it as well, it is just part of the process.

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You get a bouncer and a guest list (like at a club) and turn people away at the door! Haha. Just kidding.

I can’t think of a good way to alleviate the RSVP frustration either, aside from chasing people down. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 

How about: “Please rsvp, otherwise we cannot guarantee you a seat or a plate.” Hahahahaha!

@Birdee106:  LOL

Post # 16
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think that it is rude to put on the card. RSVPs as I understand it from nearly everyone I know who got married are annoying. Just prepare yourself to chase people down. After the due date make a few phone calls/emails and tell the guest if they don’t respond by in the next few days you will be giving the Vendors your final numbers and you won’t be able to accomdate should they choose to come. After that no one will have a leg to stand on if they don’t reply after the due date, and after a follow up call/email

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