(Closed) Spinoff: I wanted a big, expensive ring and make no apologies for it either.

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 18
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I agree with everyone above… it’s perfectly ok to ask for a nice ring.  My fiance has always said he’s only ever going to give me two rings in our life together (I say we’ll see about that lol!)  – my engagement and my wedding band.  So i figure if that’s the case, I wanted it to be a good one!  We went ring shopping before hand and I was completely ok with an engagement ring where the center was really 4 smaller diamonds put together to look like a big solitaire, but HE was the one who said no.  He said that this would be my engagement ring, his promise to me, and he was only going to get the best for me.  I mean, we aren’t loaded, it wasn’t going to be 2 ct or anything, but he wanted at least 1 ct. 

In the end, he went over his budget, and my center stone is .91 and it has shoulder diamonds for a total of 1.5ct.  It still dazzles me and I am so in love.  Would I have been disappointed with smaller?  Yes I think so…. would I have ever told him or another soul that? Never.  I had very low confidence growing up… I was not an attractive teen (Big frizzy hair I couldn’t control and over weight), even when I finally figured out how to make myself look pretty, I still never thought I’d get married.  I dreamed of my ring just like I dreamed of my husband… I have my dream come true for both!

Post # 19
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@michiru4ever:  I have to agree with the “you should be happy he got you a ring”.  Maybe there should be a little more “he should be happy you said yes”.

Post # 20
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsFuzzyFace:  Agreed.

There is nothing wrong with having an opinion on what ring you want, nicely discussing it with your SO, and if it’s within budget and you’re both happy with the choice, go for it!

We do the exact same thing with houses, cars, and anything else… why not the piece of jewelry you will wear every single day forever?

As I was following the other thread too, I will point out that no, it’s not good to be demanding (like being obnoxious and asking for a 2 carat you know he can’t afford when he got you a perfectly lovely 1 carat)… but I am not going to be ecstatic to wear a ring I don’t like. Sorry. I’m not that type of girl… I haven’t gotten to where I am today by waiting for things to happen. I ask (nicely) for what I want and usually get it.

Post # 21
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I showed him the style I wanted…

And was thrilled with what he bought me. .15 carats,  1.5 carats or 15 carats, I’d love it either way!

Post # 22
Member
12300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oye… same discussion new thread. 

@canarydiamond:  (like being obnoxious and asking for a 2 carat you know he can’t afford when he got you a perfectly lovely 1 carat)

I never understood that.  Do people REALLY do that?  I’m mean, what what kind of person would be (sorry to sound mean, but) stupid enough to demand more than her soon to be husband could afford.  Do they really not realize that HIM going into debt for it probably ruins HER fiancial future also?

Post # 23
Member
6317 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@pinkshoes:  Agreed. And I am actually basing that example on a thread that was on here a couple of months ago.

Post # 24
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would be happy with any sort of ring as long as it meant that I was engaged and getting married!! That is the most exciting part! But my fiance knew what I would want and luckily he could afford it. But we both had to make sacrifices to be able to afford this sort of ring, and not major sacrifices, just less traveling, less going out to eat. But at least we know I want need to upgrade for a long, long time. I know tons of people who have a starter ring and I think their rings are beautiful. But there is nothing wrong for wanting a larger diamond, I do not feel bad for having my ring and people can judge all they want!

Post # 25
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah, I wanted a 1 carat ring, too. I was just used to seeing that size (or bigger), and anything else just looked “wrong” to me. I would’ve been happy with a diamond alternative, or a diamond, though, I didn’t want my husband going into debt. I’m just “accustomed” to a certain size, and it’s what I prefer on my own hand.

Post # 26
Member
5317 posts
Bee Keeper

I didn’t really expect it, but Fiance set a big budget for my ring.

We actually focused on quality over size. It isn’t small but for our budget a typical-quality honker was readily in reach. I don’t like to be showy, but as a detail-oriented person I got the chance to get something that was truly amazing in every sense of the word, it’s like a little slice of extreme excellence… nature (the raw stone, its color, clarity, etc.) and human talents (it was handcut to an amazingly precise shape – both art and science played their roles) all coming together, at their best… that’s how I feel about it… I love it!

In any case, my ring cost a lot more than I thought it would, and I’m sure some people would make remarks saying Fiance spent too much if they knew the amount (which I don’t disclose to people), but the facts are: he wanted to, he could afford it, and he and I love it to bits.

Post # 27
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

um. i love you. 😉

I wanted a 1 carat, I’ll be getting it. I wanted small pave diamonds in my setting, I’ll be getting it. I wanted a colorless diamond, again, I’ll be getting it. Judge all you want people.

Post # 29
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@michiru4ever:  I disagree with the “you should just be happy he even got you a ring at all” attitude. It reeks of desparation.


A.FREAKING.MEN

Post # 30
Member
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@PinkMermaid:  Sure, go ahead with your judgment. It’s not demanding if it’s the same thing my SO wanted to get me and it was under the budget he had set out.

The topic ‘Spinoff: I wanted a big, expensive ring and make no apologies for it either.’ is closed to new replies.

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