- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
As (hopefully) many of y’all know, I’m a bee in waiting. I recently voted on the thread I based this one on that I’d prefer a long engagement over waiting. I try my best to keep the anxious wedding talk for WB, but on this one I had to ask SO what he thought about this post.
I read him the original message, and then pieces of other ones, and we found out that we completely disagree on this topic… He prefers a shorter engagement closer to the wedding, and I’d much rather have the ring on my finger sooner than later.
Obviously as the guy, he’s not the one waiting, so that makes it easy to not feel insecure about where the relationship is going –it’s in his hands for God’s sake..
On the other hand, here I am freaking out on him this past weekend accusing him of “not liking me that much..” When what I’ve been trying to say to him is that without the committment of an engagement, I feel like the foundation of our relationship doesn’t feel as solid to ME. To him though, the fact that we’re dating is reassurance enough.
So we actually had a calm conversation about this. We agreed that we disagree, but did agree to a compromise. I asked him to tell me what he thinks the best compromise would be, and he said: “Well I’m going to use numbers, but they’re just for example’s sake. Say we want to get married in 2 years. I’d rather be engaged about 1 year before the wedding, and I know you’d rather be engaged now. So the best plan would be to get engaged 3-6 months from now, and that way we both get more or less what we want.”
I totally agree with what he said. And honestly it’s really the only way to go since we don’t agree on this topic. He also mentioned that I hadn’t actually sent him any ideas for rings, and that I should be sending them his way so it can be a surprise when he does ask. (As obsessed with rings as I am, I can’t believe I’ve failed to send him any ring ideas in a while!)
Needless to say, I feel WAYY better about my whole waiting situation. And it’s all thanks to all you Bees! You say everything I want to say, but more eloquently. It makes it where I can have an actual conversation with him about this stuff – without having to get all emotional!
I want to know, how many of you have regular conversations about waiting with your man? How do you approach it? And most importantly, how has being on WB helped/hurt you in your waiting process?
Thanks for reading…!
…I’m off to search for some rings to send his way! 🙂 🙂