(Closed) Spinoff: If the bride is wearing another color is it ok…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

good question.  i think its rare the bride doesnt wear white, and if i were that bride, i might be more concerened that no one else wears that color. but that would also be hard to dictate.  i went to a wedding once where the bride had told everyone she was not wearing white and going non-traditional. but she wanted to surprise us at her wedding with her dress.  so she wore a beautiful purple dress…..but at least 3 other guests wore purple as well and one of them was the exact same shade. in pics, i unfortunately thought it took away from her dress.

so basically, i think its best to not wear the same color as the bride. at that wedding i was referring to, had i known she was wearing purple, i know i would have consciously worn anything but! (i wore pink, so i was thankful for that).

Post # 5
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is a good question. For me, I probably would just not wear white, ivory, or the color the bride is wearing. Even if the bride doesn’t care, I would be fearful that older guests would be offended.

Honestly, I wouldnt have cared if someone showed up at my wedding in white or ivory as long as they didn’t wear their wedding dress 🙂 I really don’t remember what my guests wore – everything felt like it was on fast forward that day. Family did care, however – especially the older more traditional family. One guest (male) showed up in dressy type shorts. Our wedding was formal. I didnt notice and even now that I know, I dont care. I think it reflects upon him not me. But, the family was talking up a storm and still are.

Basically, I wouldnt want to be the person some family picks to talk about.

Of course, I’m answering more for US weddings. I know in some cultures, the bride wears a gorgeous red dress or dress of color as tradition – I don’t know how guests are expected to dress.

Post # 6
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@dani ddha: I agree, I was taught my society never to wear white, ivory, cream any hue that represents bridal during a wedding.  Guest might get the impression that I am the bride and that has occurred where I confuse guest with the bride.  When I arrive at weddings I am looking for someone in white to hand my gift to

Post # 7
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ya, even if i knew the bride was wearing another color, i dont think i would wear white as a guest. i just couldnt do it!

Post # 8
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That’s a very interesting question. I actually went to a good friend’s wedding recently and she wore a super-gorgeous red/burgundy dress, and I did notice that a number of friends of her family were wearing white. I kind of figured they probably knew she wasn’t wearing white, but then it was a pretty heavily off-beat wedding, so I don’t think it would have been an issue either way.

Post # 9
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think if the bride isn’t wearing white that is all the more reason NOT to wear it as a guest. That can only lead to confusion. 

Post # 11
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Corilee13: Sorry for the delayed response! Yeah I think I would avoid both the color the bride actually wears and white. If the dress has colored detail I would probably avoid that too (if I knew ahead) both because it’s on the bride’s dress and most brides with colors in their dress usually put the BM’s in that color too. 

Post # 12
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i recently looked at some wedding photos of a male friend of mine online…i hadnt met his bride previous.

I came accross at least 3 photos of my friend with women dressed in white/ivory/cream and thought all of them in turn must be his bride…before coming to one with a girl in a veil and realising my mistake…

i think its fine for a bride to wear another color as at the end of the day they always make sure they are unmistackable in one way or another …be it wearing white or ivory or having a viel or a tiara or a massive dress…

but i dont think its fine for guests to wear white…just cos its confusing.

Post # 13
Member
1934 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m coming from the other side (aka, the non-white dress bride)!  My reception dress is pale pink.  I’m not telling anyone about it, and I don’t mind if other people wear pink.  I don’t think it’s a big deal, but then again, I’m on the non-traditional side of things.  I still wouldn’t wear white though! 

Post # 15
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Corilee13: not sure if it was my comment that confused you but anyways… i wasnt invitd to the wedding…i got o look at the wedding album photos…it was confusing as i hadnt seen the bride and there were 3 pics of the groom with differant women in white that i saw before i saw him with the bride…also its nice for the bride to feel special as any passers by look on…but there is always the chance that at an evening reception co workers of the groom or distant family members may get confused if theres lots of women in white dresses…
i think that maybe women who wear white are secretly pining for their own day.

 

Post # 16
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think it’s totally fine. I wore a green dress and several guests were considering wearing green as well–I told them not to worry about it. One of my friends wore a white dress and it was 100% okay with me, too. But then, I’m one of those women who doesn’t see a point in getting bent out of shape about what color a guest wears.

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