(Closed) Spinoff: If you had married at 20 years old…

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: If you got married in your teens or early twenties...

    I'd be divorced

    I'd be happily married still

    Life would be better

    Life would be worse

    I'd be UNhappily married still

  • Post # 316
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee

    Yikes! I didn’t even know who I was or what I wanted until 25. At 20, I was dating my first serious boyfriend. He was a jobless emotionally unstable hypochondriac (making me shower 5x a day, because cat dander…which btw, I’ve never owned a cat) who was 14 years my senior. His friends treated me terribly and I cried constantly. He was very controlling and always told me my emotional energy was not good for him, and that I do something about it immediately. He messed with my mind and actually convinced me for a time with father molested me (f***ed up right?) Everyone told us to get hitched because I’m 6 ft tall and he is 6′ 7″. Last I heard he was on workman’s comp and is marrying a wealthy woman he doesn’t love two weeks after my wedding.

    Post # 317
    Member
    935 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2016

    At 20 I was planning on marrying the man I was with, but life took a turn as it often does, though we remained acquaintences and wished each other the best.

     

    Had I married him, I would have been a widow.  He passed a few months ago from colon cancer, but he had quite possibly one of the most interesting lives of anyone I know (he was very involved with politics, and elected to office).  

    It’s interesting how much his death shook me up and made me ask myself some hard questions (“how would I have coped being a 27 year old widow?” “what if my fiance gets very sick?” etc), and at the same time, made me realize how truly blessed I am that Fiance and myself are healthy (especially considering my ex was younger than my FI). 

    Shame that the good ones die young.

    Post # 318
    Member
    372 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I was with my DH when I was 20 (we met when I was 18) However I definitely wasn’t ready to be married at 20!! I’m not really sure where we’d be, I’d like to think still together but I do think it would have put a lot more pressure on things – despite meeting him so young (he’s 8 years older) we made a lot of independent decisions in our first 5 years together so I think being married during that would have not been the best thing for us. Getting married to him at 27 felt like a much better time and I was far more mature and ready for marriage. 

    Post # 319
    Member
    4027 posts
    Honey bee

    I would be married to my current husband (been together since 15 and 17). We are currently 30 and 28. However, we were not ready for marriage at 20 and I think it would have been an unwise decision at that time. We were in the middle of college (at different schools) and spent time figuring ourselves out through sports, study abroad and activities. I think since we gave each other space to grow, we were able to grow together rather than apart. We got married at 25 and 27 and just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary this week. We are stronger than ever and happy with the path we took. 

    Post # 320
    Member
    575 posts
    Busy bee

    I choose: “It would have never occurred to me to do such a thing.”

    Post # 321
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    LMFAO! Who knows where I’d be, I don’t even know where that scrub is right now. 

    Post # 322
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee

    LOL. By the time I turned 20 we’d been married for 2 years, so… 

    Post # 323
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Well I started dating Fiance a couple months before my 20th birthday and we’re getting married next year so happily married 🙂 

    Post # 324
    Member
    138 posts
    Blushing bee

    I was with my ex who i was with for 10 years when i was 20. Had i married him (even though he was anti marriage), i would be divorced or very unhappy. I would be dirt poor, working while he does whatever, insecure and basically his maid. He didn’t work, had no movitvation to better himself, never wanted to go anywhere or doing anything, he would spend all his time playing his stupid xbox for hours on end. No thanks.

    Post # 325
    Member
    158 posts
    Blushing bee

    I would definitely be happily divorced 😛 The guy I was dating at 20 (which I didn’t see then) was very controlling. Everything had to be his way and he was always right. He was really sweet at times and good, but he would be very controlling and condescending towards me at times. I’m glad we never got married!

    Post # 326
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee

    I would be divorced (very happily), or dead..

    The boyfriend I had at the age of 20, when I broke up with him (for cheating on me, none the less) attempted to kill me by causing a car accident between us. I physically came out okay, but mentally I’ve been broken ever since.

    To be fair though, I never planned on marrying him. He was a rebound from another terrible relationship…that turned into a terrible relationship. After him, I stayed single for a long time.

    Post # 327
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee

    I did marry the person I was dating at 18. I filed divorce papers just before my 25th birthday.

    I’m now marrying the person I met in the midst of my breakup, and we will have been together 9 years when we get married.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: If you had married at 20 years old…’ is closed to new replies.

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