Post # 16
I love that this is tied – I had a really tough time and thought they both had merit.
I think Bees pointing out how intertwined the finances are definitely make a good point as to where the feelings are.
If one parent is a stay-at-home parent and contributes to the family that way, and the other is the breadwinner and keeps everything in their name, and they both go down in a fiery crash together, should the stay-at-home parents family get nothing?
I actually don’t know very much about how wills work (i.e. my assets do x, and joint assets do y).
My friends were just treating everything as a lump estate (their finances are all intertwined, Friend A makes ~$120k and Friend B makes ~$100k, Friend B made more for the first 3/4 of the relationship). They got together in university with nothing, moved countries together, and have accumulated everything together.
We also talked about their other friend (and this really touched on the previous thread). He was prompting them to get wills as his parents are both now dead, his mum recently. His parents were together, but both had kids from a previous relationship, and then had him together. Their will divided the inheritance equally between all children of the blended family (i.e. 1/5 each). Friend A felt this was unfair as the kids from previous relationships had two sets of parents to inherit from, but her friend only had one set. I took the position that if they did it unequally it would likely cause tension/stress however you justified it (and what if second set of parents left everyhing to charity?).
It was really fun to talk about scenarios. No-one was upset or anything (and clearly they need to talk to an estate lawyer) but it was a wonderful day of “but what if…”
Post # 17
I have only one sibling, from whom I am estranged. If I were cfbc, the bonus to me would be leaving assets to a charity to accomplish real good after I’m gone. Sentimental things could go to family or friends, but everything else could go to a cause I believe in.
Post # 18
- Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana
I thought at first this was a simple answer, equally, but reading through the responses I think I’d be more inclined to bequeath it to my niece and nephews if I had no kids for school etc. and some to a charity. I think I might skip all siblings.
But to answer the question directly, if I was going to leave money to siblings it would be simple and kind to do it equally in the instance of your concurrent death.
However, if one of you inherited from the other. Then what? Would you still bequeath to all siblings? Or just yours as the one still alive. Just curious. It’s an interesting and complicated topic!
Post # 19
Another thing I was thinking of – a lot of times inheritance/life insurance goes towards funeral arrangements/etc. If you have 4 siblings splitting the cost of a service, it’s a lot less per person. For the person who has 1 sibling, that 1 person is taking on a lot more of the burden. If anything were to happen to one of the 4 other siblings, they still have 3 remaining siblings to split costs and care for children. So I am still on Team A, splitting by family.
Post # 20
Interesting thing to consider! I have life insurance specifically to cover funeral costs, so the inheritance would be dealt with separately, but likely not everyone has this.
I’m a divorce lawyer, not an estate lawyer, but I have seen some wills floating through our office that define the inheritance as what is left over AFTER funeral bills are paid – so I don’t know that 1 sibling would be on the hook more than the other 3 (maybe upfront, but they would be compensated).
Post # 21
yes, typically the estate will pay for the funeral costs before considering anyone for the remaining inheritance. And also, any creditors and debtors will be paid off before the funds are dispersed. That’s why you have to publish the death in the bulletin so it allows creditors to come after the estate.
In general, I think this conversation is too difficult to have on a macro level due to the fact that family dynamics can vary drastically.
H and I have a lot of discussions on this topic because of our situation and while we do agree, it’s still difficult to translate it all onto paper because there are so many unknowns.
Post # 22
Yeah that is true. I am currently dealing with sorting out potential elder care, so again same thing (if parents are alive that is), 2 siblings caring for aging parents is a much bigger burden than 4 or 5 splitting it between them. In the unlikely event we should both perish before our parents we are exploring options on also providing for that.
Post # 23
I would say A – evenly distributed between families. I don’t think it should have anything to do with number of siblings.
The assets are half his, half hers. So thus, they should be split down the middle for each side of the family. Uncomplicated.
But IMO, I’d probably leave it to our parents before I’d leave it to siblings.
Fun story my Mother-In-Law got cheated out of an inheritance when her mother passed. Original plan was to split all assets ($ and house) betweent the three children (MIL + her two brothers). One brother, who never moved out of home despite being ~60 when his mother died, managed to convince his Mum a month before she died to instead leave the house to him alone, AND give him 1/3rd share of her small cash assets. This prize included all the family heirlooms, antiques, jewellery and cherished items within that house.
So all Mother-In-Law and her other brother received was a cheque for about $9k. That one good-for-nothing drop-kick-asshole brother got about $1m in total assets. Everyone’s still bitter about it.
So yeah. I’m down the line. 50/50. No making accommodations, because honestly, that’s when I think there’s the chance of suspect behaviour.