Post # 1
I was reading CaitMarae‘s post, (which was super interesting BTW) and it got me thinking. Every time somebody finds out Mr. Hedgie and I are from different religions and neither with plans to convert the topic quickly turns to how we are going to raise our children. I feel like we are lucky in that our religions are so closely intertwined. I am Christian and he is Jewish. So, for us it was much easier to come up with a game plan.
Our child will be raised under BOTH religions. For me, celebrating the High Holy days just gives me a way to get closer to my religion by following even more is Jesus’ footsteps. I mean, he celebrated these, so why shouldn’t I? We will have a bris, a baby dedication (I am baptist and we don’t baptise babies.) They will go to church and, if we can find a synagogue we like, we will go there too. The church we are looking at joining even has a messianic service once a month which is super cool! (Messianic Judaism… for those who don’t know is Judaism but with Jesus!) They will still be bar/bat mitva’d if they want or baptized if they choose. We will celebrate all holidays from both religions and teach them about both as best we can. Sure, it may be confusing at times but in the end, just as I had to make the concious decision to become a Christian, they will have to make he concious decision to follow the faith they believe. And while I obviously would love for them to be Christian, I also want them to truely believe. And if they decide they don’t and they want to be Jewish then that is their choice and I will love them and be proud of them all the same because they made the best decision for themselves they could make.
(To make things slightly less confusing I have considered looking for a messianic temple but Mr. Hedgie isn’t completely gung ho on that. He would much rather we go to church.)
So, What is your guys’ plan? Will you raise them under both? Just one? Or none? Or do you have another plan? I want to see how other people are handling such a difficult and sometimes touchy topic.
Post # 3
We are going to raise our kids Catholic, which is what I am. He is Jewish, and we plan to teach our kids about Judaism, and partake in what I call “cultural Judaism” – celebrating the holidays with his family, sending the kids to sleepaway camp, etc. (that sleepaway camp thing sounds sarcastic- it’s not. My Fiance is dead set on our kids going to a Jewish sleepaway camp like he did). My Fiance does not really use Judaism as a way to know God, it is more like a cultural background for him, kind of the way I am Italian, if that makes sense. He is not religious and I am, so that is how we made our decision.
Post # 4
He’s Catholic (his dad is Jewish, FWIW), and I’m Protestant, and our kids will be Protestant. We never really argued about it, which I appreciate. He understand my reasoning.
Post # 5
SO is an Atheist of Jewish heritage. I’m a Christian. Our children will be Messianic Jews.
Post # 6
@Seaside: They have those? Of course they have those. That sounds fun!
@DeadlyNightshade: I love that you guys are “meeting half way” with raising them messianic. I tried to talk to Mr. Hedgie about that but he wasn’t a fan. I can kinda get it.
Post # 7
this is how i was raised. loved it.
planning on doing the same thing- but with an emphasis on heritage and tradition more than religion.
Post # 8
@Mrs Hedgehog: We’re planning something similar (I’m Epicopalian, he’s reform Jewish) but we still need to work out some kinks. I still want kids to experience church and some sunday school, while he wants the kids to go to Hebrew School and be bar/bat mitzvah’d. But ultimately, we want each child to choose his/her own religion based on what they believe- and we’ll love them no matter what they choose. There is a pretty good book (I can give you the name of it if you want it), that gives accounts of many interfaith families and their experiences with finding a religion for their child/ren. It was nice to read what worked and didn’t work in these families.
Post # 9
This is something that Darling Husband and I discuss alot. Darling Husband is Christian Orthodox while I am Athiest. We have decided that we will raise our children to understand what we both believe and allow our child to pick themself.
Post # 10
FH is catholic and I’m Adventist. the good news is church is on saturdays for me and mass is on sundays for him. so we will switch off every other weekend with the whole family going to mass one week, church the next.
we will baptize the kids when they are babies bc his mom is uber catholic and will have a cow if we don’t, then we will dedicate them in my church as well – Adventists don’t baptize babies either. later when the kids are old enough to choose their religions if I win (j/k!) they will be baptized as young adults.
luckily we’re both christians so all the basic principles are the same, its mostly the rituals that are different. unfortounately we share all the same holidays so no extra celebrations 🙂
Post # 11
@Mrs Hedgehog: Haha It actually started out as a joke. I’m black so my SO made a joke about me having his little Lenny Kravitzes.
Me: “So they’re going to be Christian?”
SO: “I thought he was Jewish.”
Me: “Uh…they’ll be Jews for Jesus?”
SO: “I do not think that means what you think it means.”
We looked it up, found out about the messianic temple somehow, and thought it was a really cool combination of both of us. We’re about 99% sold on this, but we want to spend some more time checking it out.
Post # 12
I am atheist (baptised Catholic) and he is Baptist. He’s not super relligious, although he was set on having his pastor officiate our wedding (and we have to fly him from Regina to St. John’s!). Luckily his religion doesn’t baptise babies because I don’t want to do that. We don’t really plan to involve religion in our kids lives. If they are interested, that’s fine, and vice versa.
Post # 13
I don’t have this situation, but if I did I would choose to raise our children with the knowledge and traditions of both religions, and really wouldn’t do it any other way – I think it would be very valuable for them to experience both and truly understand what it means to be both.
I agree with some posters – there is absolutely NO problem with celebrating holidays secularly as well. Even if Fiance was Jewish, or I was, and the other was Catholic, I have no problem with getting a Christmas Tree, etc.
Post # 14
He wants us to raise our children Catholic, which is what I am. He considers himself a Buddhist but hasn’t ever been a practicing Buddhist.
Post # 15
He is Catholic, and I am a Christian. We will be raising any children as Christians, which he is fine with, Sunday school at my church and all. They will probably go to Christian (not Catholic) schools as well, since Darling Husband is military and we live in places with awful schools! 🙁 So that’s that.
Unfortunately he wants any kids baptized as infants, which I totally do NOT agree with, so we’ll see how that argument goes.
In any case, they will be raised in a home that worships the Lord, so I’m pretty sure the little things will work themselves out. Unless DH’s mom calls them bastards…then I might end up in jail.
Post # 16
My SO is a Jehovahs Witness and I am a Baptist. So pretty much our grandparents will never get along. lol. We however use the religion as more of a teaching tool. We have decided to introduce our children to both baptist churches and Kingdom Halls and if they choose to follow a religion we will embrace it. If not they can simply use it as a set of guidelines like we do.