(Closed) Spinoff: Is a dry wedding rude?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Having a dry wedding is...

    Completely RUDE!!! WTH!!!

    Only rude if you don't have a good reason.

    Never rude. It's your wedding, your choice.

    other

  • Post # 77
    Member
    777 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Not rude, just subdued.;-)

    Post # 78
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’ve been to a few weddings that were dry for religious reasons. So, of course I don’t consider it rude because it was important to the beleifs of their family. On the other hand, they were pretty boring. Nobody danced and nobody stayed for much more than 2 hours. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think it’s probably context…as a guest I wouldn’t love that I was going to a dry wedding but I wouldn’t think it was rude.

    Within my own family, if you hosted and didn’t provide alcohol we’d think it was pretty rude. 

    Post # 80
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Woodstock:  I don’t think it’s rude at all.

    Post # 81
    Member
    1876 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Woodstock:  It’s your wedding, so do as you see fit to suit yourselves, your guests, and your budget.

    Post # 82
    Member
    2512 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    a dry wedding is not rude. a guest expecting a bride and groom to spend tons of money on something expensive and unnecessary such as alcohol is rude though. you are the guest not the host. you don’t get to decide what the bride and groom should spend money on. if you can’t go one night without alcohol, then that’s really sad.

    Post # 83
    Member
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’ve never been to a dry wedding, nor do I think i would enjoy a dry wedding, but no, it’s not rude to throw a dry wedding. 

    Post # 84
    Member
    430 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think it might be rude to have a cash bar and expect guests to pay for drinks, but as long as there is no cash bar and refreshments are provided (it doesn’t matter if there is alcohol in them to me) I think a dry wedding is just fine.

    Post # 85
    Member
    4605 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I don’t think it’s rude to have a dry wedding as there are many different reasons why a couple would have a dry wedding. We’re having one because the venue seriously limits the amount and type of alcohol that can be served there and we have several recovering alcoholics in FH’s family. 

     

    Post # 86
    Member
    7899 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

    A dry wedding is not rude. The hosts choose what to offer and alcohol is something I enjoy but it not required. I would expect water and iced tea, though.

    I am of the opinion that dry is better than cash bar, because I believe a hosted event should be fully hosted and guests should not have the option to upgrade their experience.

    Post # 87
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I didn’t read all of these responses, but I wouldn’t consider it “rude.” That said, I most likely wouldn’t have a ton of fun and there’s a very good chance I would leave early. If I knew in advance that it was a dry wedding and I wasn’t that close to the person, I would probably opt not to attend.

    Post # 88
    Member
    706 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We had a dry wedding for budget reasons.  To those saying we should just “cut somewhere else” there really wasn’t a place – total wedding costs were about $10k.  To add alcohol, we would have had to 1) pay more for the venue (insurance and addl security), 2) pay to bring in a bartender and 3) pay for the alcohol.  This would have added another $1k to the tab.  

    We also had a Sunday afternoon wedding, so we expected that people would leave early than a typical wedding, and we were right.  People had to work Monday, which we 1) expected and 2) weren’t offended by.

    Post # 89
    Member
    5184 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Woodstock:  I wouldn’t say it’s technically “rude” but it’s kind of an unspoken faux pas. Like if you invite guests over to your house for a visit. There’s no law that you have to offer them something to eat or drink, but it is expected. People expect alcohol at weddings. It doesn’t have to be a full bar, but at least wine and beer. If you choose to have a dry wedding for personal reasons (religious, someone you know is a recovering alcoholic and shouldn’t be around liquor, etc…) then it’s 100% NOT rude. But if you’re cheaping out on the liquor so you can afford poofier centerpieces then yeah, it’s not so nice and your guests will probably be disappointed.

    Post # 90
    Member
    8469 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @Nona99:  +1

    I agree with everything you said 100%.

    Post # 91
    Member
    11528 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Coincidentally, I just returned from a “dry” wedding reception where there were 475 — yes, 475 — guests (that’s how many RSVP’d “yes” — there may have been a few more.) It was lovely.

    Because the reception was held in a very large fellowship hall at the couple’s church, I don’t think anyone was expecting alcohol to be served. The couple served punch and had a toast of sparkling apple or grape juice (depending on the table at which guests were seated.)

     

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