(Closed) Spinoff: Lay it on me, what goes down at Strip Clubs?

posted 4 years ago in Intimacy
  • poll: Strip clubs are...
    A place for people to drink and have fun while lovely ladies strip and give lap dances. : (20 votes)
    21 %
    Generally non-threatening but sometimes things go too far, depending on the stripper and customer. : (50 votes)
    53 %
    Bad news! Those money desperate girls are pretty damn slutty. : (8 votes)
    8 %
    Too tempting when you combine alcohol, hot chicks, and pressure from friends. : (17 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    1527 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    jmbee:  I trust my SO not to put himself in situations that he can’t handle. He isn’t a hyper sexual person so for him I know that a strip club would be 0 temptation but for some men it may not be so easy. I think that it’s smart to keep yourself out of situations that make you personally vulnerable.

    Say your Darling Husband is drunk and alone with an ex girlfriend he had a strong and mutual physical attraction with. Would anything happen? Probably not. Is it more likely to happen then if he didn’t get drunk and spend time alone with another woman? Yep. Everyone has temptations and the smartest thing you can do is to keep yourself away from potential landmines.

    Post # 47
    Member
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    countingstars:  so I can make a poll with racist remarks just so I am sure to cover all bases/opinions? Gotcha.

    Post # 48
    Member
    4242 posts
    Honey bee

    countingstars:  I find the fact that you’re scolding me for scolding you pretty humourous.

    Post # 49
    Member
    11575 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Would it be too much to ask that instead of “money desperate sluts” we blame the people who are giving them money? 

    That goes for either sex. I just get so tired of people blaming women for “tempting” their man. I don’t care one way or the other about strip clubs, but I do care when women are labeled sluts and blamed for every bad thing a man does. 

    let’s just assume people are responsible for their own actions. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    1740 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I have several thoughts on this, and some I’ve said previously in other posts.  But since almost everything on this thread has also been said in previous posts, here it goes, with new info added:

    1.  I’ve been to many strip clubs, in several different states.  They are all different, some are seedy, with back rooms where more than stripping happens, some are not.

    2.  I’ve gotten more than 1 lap dance in the past.  At one club in California, I was actually reprimanded by the bouncer for putting my hand on the stipper’s back while she was on top of me (yes, I am bisexual; I was in a 12 year relationship with a woman until 2009).

    3.  It is true that strippers and sex workers are ONLY interested in the guys’ money.  And some of them make damn good money — more than many, if not most, of the women on this board, and their boyfriends / fiances / husbands.

    4.  Not all sex workers (prostitutes) have pimps, drug addictions or low self esteem.  The women walking the streets are more likely to have pimps and/or drug problems, but there is a HUGE “underground,” generally internet based, world of high end and mid range sex workers who are smart, educated women, doing it 100% of their own volition, running it as a business, and making damn good money in the process — very often $300+ per hour and some, albeit a smaller number, as much as $1,000+ per hour.  There are many other internet sites, some regional, some international, where sex workers solicit business, and they also include discussion boards very much like this one.  I’m not going to post the names of the sites publicly on this board, if anyone is curious, PM me and I will give you some examples.  The vast majority of the high end and mid range sex workers screen their potential clients by requiring info such as their real name, phone number, place of employment, etc. to ensure their safety and freedom.

    5.  Finally, and probably most importantly in addressing the OP’s claim that strip clubs are bad because they invite temptation, the workplace is where the vast majority of affairs occur.  If you want your SO to not be tempted, you should demand that he quit his job.  Forbidding him from going to strip clubs is unlikely to stop any man who a.) wants to go and therefore will do so without telling you; and/or b.) is inclined to have an affair or a one night stand, regardless of whether or not he works or is going to strip clubs.

    Post # 51
    Member
    1338 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    MelissainNC:  +10000. Everything you said is spot on.  

    To the OP, don’t be naive or narrow minded.  All sorts of things go on in all sorts of strip clubs, both “harmless” or “innocent” activities and all types paid for of sex acts, drug use, etc.  Like most things in life strip clubs and the happenings in them are not black and white.  There’s a multitude of differences within them.  The same is true of the women that work in them, some are of rather unsavory people, some are awesome people and then there’s many in between.  I could say the same thing of the line up at my office job.  The only difference is that the business of stripping requires no particular education or certifications and does attract some disadvantaged people for that reason.  And yes some might be desperate.  That doesn’t make them inherently BAD people.  

    I don’t see anything wrong with a man wanting to pay for sex, this has been around as long as humans have been around.  What I see wrong is the laws & discrimination that stop the industry from being safe, profitable and with less stigma for all parties.  It is a HUGE and THRIVING worldwide industry and that is never going to change.  It’s incredibly backwards to not tax it, regulate it and service it as any other industry.  

    By nothing wrong with men paying for sex – I was referring to single ones or in otherwise appropriate situations (open relationships, etc). I don’t mind one bit if my husband goes to a strip bar.  I expect him not to fuck a stripper just like I expect him not to fuck a coworker or someone he meets out walking the dog or whatever.  Him visiting a strip bar has zero bearing on whether he will cheat or not.  

    Post # 52
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee

    Hahhahhaha this is a hilarious post.  you know those things you see in movies about strip clubs? They’re not real.  

    1.  They are regulated.  You think they can just open any and all clubs without government interference? strip clubs are under the microscope all the time.  There are RULES and if you break them, you’ll get kicked out. Why? Well if an undercover cop sees a stripper getting touched no matter how innocently they would have violated provisions and the club could be shut down for suspicion of prostitution.  

    2.  It’s all about the money.  clubs make money out of selling drinks! The girls can make tips on top of their base pay so yeah their goal is to dance well so they can make money.  

    you know what you should be worried about?  coworkers, happy ending massage parlors, private party dancers, etc.  strip clubs have way too many rules, undercover cops, and enforcers to even become anything other than just naked girls dancing. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee

    Tinatiny1:  hear hear! Plus it’s insulting to men that this bias seems to make them brainless idiots who can be led by their penis in all directions.  Let’s give them reaponsibilities for their actions and treat them like ADULTS and not mother them like their children.  

    Post # 54
    Member
    366 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2016 - Church by the beach,

    Haha well it depends on the club and the area. For example here it’s a well known fact ‘strip clubs ‘ are actually whore houses and that is the reason a man would go there, so I wouldn’t be too impressed if fi went here. Somewhere else where they actually are just girls dancing nude, I totally wouldn’t mind, even I can appreciate watching a beautiful body dance, I don’t even have a problem with happy ending massage I mean as long as its a nice clean environment nothing wrong with a woman relieving tension from your whole body anything more than a handjob though to me is asking for disease.

    Post # 55
    Member
    730 posts
    Busy bee

    theatrejulia:  These girls “come from countries that lack opprotunity” and yet your Fiance “…makes a game of being solicited, stringing them along and has never taken one”??

    Look, I like your posts and I’m not trying to attack you at all, but I would call him on this – it seems SUPER unethical.

    Edit: I just read a few of your updates and now I think there might be a miscommunication. If he is stringing them along as a game, I think it’s really unethical. If he is, as you said in an update, simply directly responding to their questions with “not if I have to pay for it,” then it sounds like a totally different story in which he’s behaving ethically!

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Nontra.
    Post # 56
    Member
    608 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    MelissainNC:  Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this reply.

    Post # 57
    Member
    9527 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

     

    Nontra:  if he were going to a strip club to seek out and insult a girl it is unethical. When they approach him at  a casino bar or craps table, some have followed him around. It is not unethical for him to lightly banter their propositions. He is not insulting them. I worded my original post wrong. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    3169 posts
    Sugar bee

    countingstars:  Hmmm maybe. But for us and for our relationship we personally don’t feel like we need to protect our relationship by removing “temptation” in the form of potential string club visits at this stage. I also don’t think relationships where “temptation” has been removed are free from the risk of someone becoming unhappy and acting out by cheating. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    7371 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    MelissainNC:  Thank you! Every other week it’s some ridic stripper thread *rollseyes*. Exactly what you said, chics so up in arms about it should have their mates quit work, that’s more of an access point to than a strip club.

    The topic ‘Spinoff: Lay it on me, what goes down at Strip Clubs?’ is closed to new replies.

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