(Closed) Spinoff – Limits set by FI/DH relating to strippers

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I doubt I would ever do see male strippers. They just don’t turn me on. For female strippers we have agreed that if he wants to go see them we do so as a couple. I think for his bach party that was only the 2nd time in his life that he has went and in general it makes him feel uncomfortable there and he just doesn’t like it.

Post # 4
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

We had zero rules.  I think we both trusted each other and each others friends enough not to worry.  And there were no strippers in the end for either!

Post # 5
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

DH is actually way more comfortable with the idea of female strippers and me than I am, but he also knows that I’m really not that type (to see male or female ones), so it’s kind of a moot point.

He says he doesn’t see the point of strippers, because if you’re single, you get turned on and then you have no one, and if you’re married, you get turned on and you come home and your wife is pissed about it, so either way, no dice.

I would consider going with him to see female strippers, maybe, but I’m really not at all sure about that either.

Post # 6
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I don’t think talking about this issue and coming up with what makes you both comfortable/uncomfortable means that you don’t trust your partner. I hate that it gets thrown out there in every stripper conversation.

For us neither one of are gung ho about the other one going without each other. If we were into it we would go together. Dh actually left a bachelor party when it was time for the strip club when we first started dating because he isn’t into them.

If I were to be going to a bachelorette party that was going to a strip club, I would probably decline that part of the evening. Defiantely not my thing. Dh would leave it up to me to decide to go or not, but he would be upset if I got a lap dance or anything like that.

Post # 7
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t have a problem with him going to strip clubs, but like you said no toching…..lol. Look but don’t touch!

Post # 8
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

FI and I have no rules. If he wants to go to a strip club, he can. If I do, I can. We trust each other and have no insecurities. I would have a problem, however, if he tried to tell me what I can and can’t do, and vice versa. 

Post # 9
Member
13101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

The only rules we have with strippers are no back rooms and no kissing/sex/etc (aka no cheating – we aren’t in the category that views a lap dance as cheating).

The rules apply both ways.

Post # 10
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

No rules for us- I don’t think I would ever want to get a show by a male stripper, so that ‘s not an issue. So far it looks like my bachelorette is going to be a “drunch”. 

I’m not worried about setting rules for him either, since out of his 5 guys, I’m pretty sure 4 are virgins who are all VERY conservative (and religious), and the last one is his brother. Who literally acts like prince charming from a disney movie. 

Even if they ended up at a strip club, I honestly would not care. I get why other people do care, but I don’t- obviously unless it ends with him actually cheating, which I trust he would not do. Lap dances, etc don’t bother me.

Post # 11
Member
4681 posts
Honey bee

He would say no way. But I also have no desire to see strippers and he knows that, so it doesn’t really matter. 

Post # 12
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

male strippers aren’t my thing. Before we were married I told my husband I don’t like lap dancers because it is sexual contact with another person. The fact that the stripper is getting paid makes no difference to me. Neither of us ended up going to strip clubs anyway. I would bet that a lot of these dudes getting lap dances would be upset if their girl was grinding on another guy or had another guy grind on her. And don’t kid yourself I’ve been to my share of strip clubs and most are pretty seedy places where anything goes for the right amount of money. 

Post # 13
Hostess
2557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

None — but the topic has never really come up.  

Post # 14
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

For his bachelor party, go to a strip club, fine.  You can get a lap dance, but you can’t touch.

 

ABSOLUTELY NO strippers you order in to a house or hotel room or party bus or anywhere else. 

 

I hate the idea of my FI even being in a strip club so that’s our compromise.  He can go, but no “at home” strippers.

Post # 15
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee

….mushroom tattoos??

Post # 16
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I dont care. I trust him.

I dont have to trust the strippers. I know he has gone on several occassions with his friends for bachelor parties and such and I never cared. He has told me when he has gone.

I am also not one to care about porn. To me they are very similar as long as I trust my DH to not do something he knows would upset me.

The topic ‘Spinoff – Limits set by FI/DH relating to strippers’ is closed to new replies.

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