(Closed) Spinoff – People who would prefer cash – For or against poems in the invitation?

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: What's your opinion on poems asking for cash in invitations?


    Not a fan :(


    I just wanted to vote ;)

  • Post # 17
    855 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @AlwaysSunny:  I guess I kind of think “it depends on your social situation and friend/family dynamic” is better than “Rude. Next.” which it just seems to be lately.

    Also, it’s the morning and I’m feeling cranky, lol.

    Post # 18
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    View original reply
    @Miss Jackrabbit:  Haha! You’re right, that’s a much better way to handle it. 

    Post # 19
    765 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    As PPs pointed out, gifts are NOT obligatory…so asking for a gift in any way IS considered rude. I would NOT mention them on the invitation. If you have a wedding website, put that web address on your invitation and make sure to have a registry section on your website. Just set up a Honeyfund or a house fund or something. That would be MUCH better. That–and I’d tell your immediate family, that way if anyone asks them where you are registered, they can explain that you’d prefer a monetary gift to help start your life together. 

    Post # 20
    9276 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I’m Australian and in my circle it is considered tacky. Everyone knows couples could use cash whether it is to go on a honeymoon or buy a home so why the need to beg for it?

    Post # 21
    4649 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @aliciaspinnet:  I’m not a fan of using the t-word, but I don’t like the poems. I’m a proponent of being honest if you want cash… but I don’t think the invitation is the place. (Put it on your website/word of mouth/both, depending on your crowd.)

    Post # 23
    2249 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I think the word tacky should be banned from WB 😉

    But seriously, not a fan of the poems. If you have a small registry, or no registry at all, I think most people will figure out that you want cash gifts. If not, have a family member spread the message via word of mouth. And if people want to buy you a physical gift? Be grateful, say thank you, and move on.

    Post # 25
    257 posts
    Helper bee

    I voted not a fan ONLY because I know it turns so many people off. I would never do it for that reason, but if I got an invitation with a poem asking for cash, I wouldn’t think anything of it (other than “oh, I bet a lot of people are going to say bad things about her!”). I would be happy to know what they want/need, even if that is cash.

    Post # 26
    2587 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

    @aliciaspinnet:  Some of the poems are alright, but some are a bit twee, OTT and I’m not down with that. I saw one once that was like 6 verses, which seemed a bit much!

    Post # 27
    11226 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    View original reply
    @Mokara:  All of the poems I’ve seen have been horribly, horribly written.  I think using one of these poems anywhere would be pretty risky.  I’ve felt secondhand embarrassment when reading a few of them; I don’t think anyone wants a guest to feel that about their wedding before they’re even AT the wedding.

    This. All of the ones I’ve come across are really crappy.

    We’d like cash (I don’t have a preference either way registry vs cash, but Fiance wants cash), but we’re just letting people know if they ask.

    Post # 28
    3194 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @aliciaspinnet:  hopefully people understand wedding etiquette enough to know if the bride and groom don’t register, or only register for a few little things, that they want cash. i would check the registries (if any) and then default to cash. poems are SUPER kitchy, IMO.

    Post # 29
    2491 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Not a fan of poems, at all.

    We did a separate ‘info’ card with a link to our website that had the menu written out (instead of just chicken or beef), how we got together, where we were registered, etc.

    Post # 30
    335 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I hate that so many brides expect people to give you a gift or cash. I think its cheap and looks bad. I understand doing a resgistry for the ones that WANT to buy a gift, but for people to EXPECT a gift, is tacky. Especially those brides who EXPECT people to pay for their wedding to cover the plate. Do a wedding you can afford, invite your loved ones, if they want to give you a gift, great, but its a union of love not CHRISTMAS!! 


    Post # 31
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    we preferred to get cash (and we got a lot of that), but what I did was drop our registry down to more expensive gifts (my mother wanted a variety for the shower–but owning a house together for 5 years meant we really didn’t need anything so I got rid of it after the shower)….so it should be cheaper to give cash…..


    Sneaky?  Maybe, but I made sure that people knew a lot of stuff on the registry was simply becuase of my mother (and she is a little looped so people totally understood)…..


    the one thing we did find interesting (and no, we don’t EXPECT GIFTS) was FI’s step bother (whom is an adult who works full time at a high end real estate company and lives in his own apartment) didn’t even give us a card….very strange since he is always worried about “being proper”…..

    The topic ‘Spinoff – People who would prefer cash – For or against poems in the invitation?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors