(Closed) Spinoff! Poking fun of religion in wedding ceremony, Harmless or Offensive?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Harmless or offensive?



    Other: below in comments

  • Post # 137
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

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    @likewoah:  You have two main points.

    1. Choice. http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/is-being-religious-a-choice#axzz2Wa8OCsd8

    Summary: I believe that FAITH is not a choice. You have it or you do not. This is at the core of my religious politics because, quite simply, if faith is NOT a choice then one cannot discriminate on the basis of it’s presence or absence. One could argue that RELIGION is a choice, but it is one which is enormously culturally mediated. By this I mean that, provided you have faith, you are vastly more likely to channel it into the religion of the area you grew up in. Therefore… how much of a choice are you really expressing?

    To criticise the expression of that faith can, therefore, potentially be a racist act, seeing as the believer’s country and culture of origin help to shape their religious path. People realise this, to an extent, when they criticise religion, because they tend to shy away from criticising religions which have non-white majority followers (eg Sikhism). I also remember from the other thread that a poster made a valid point: over the centuries, people who have attempted to expunge Judaism have usually done it by trying to expunge the Jewish race. There is certainly an intertwining of race and religion which makes it a very sensitive topic to unravel. One needs to tread carefully.

    2. “Having an anti-religious reading doesn’t  reinforce hundreds of years of institutional oppression and discrimination.” The problem with simply existing in this world is that one has to interact with organisations and individuals in order to survive. For example, I have a bank account, despite the fact that almost every bank is associated with amoral business practises in multiple ways. I simply cannot survive in the 20th century without dealing with at least one of these institutions.

    For those with faith, dealing with a religious institution, no matter what mistakes it has made, is often considered essential for their spiritual wellbeing. Sure, you could choose not to attend a church, but you could equally choose not to wear clothes made in sweatshops, or made in ways which affect the environment (ie use bleaches and chemicals). The fact is that people do choose to wear such clothes, and they do choose to attend church. It is very hard not to. In the same way, it is very hard to make 100% ethical choices all the time in a world which is, in many ways, profoundly unethical.

    If one cannot disengage, the ethical choice is to improve our organisations through constructive critique. I have learned throughout my life that picketing banks for their unethical business practises, or saying that we should “smash capitalism”, is an empty and unrealistic rhetoric. A more intelligent approach is to focus our energies on positive reform. The power of global capital can be used for good or evil, much in the same way that the power of global religion can be. Don’t forget that religious organisations have worked for centuries championing the poor and feeding the needy, for all their faults.

    When was the last time your bank did that?

    Post # 138
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    As said before, a wedding is not a good place to make a political statement. It’s not a good place to tell women to submit to their husbands, it’s not a good place to rant about how abortion is murder, it’s not a good place to say that marriage should ONLY be between a man and a woman… likewise, it’s not a good place to rant about how much religion sucks.  Wedding ceremonies should be about love, not politics or religion.  I’m an atheist, too, and as much and as strongly as I disagree with religion I would never include an anti-religious reading in my ceremony.  Non-religious, sure, because religious readings would make no sense for a non-religious couple.  

    But if your guests would be a captive audience who wouldn’t mind at all, go for it, I guess.  

    Post # 139
    2379 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

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    @mu_t:  and
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    @Rachel631: +10000

    No new input really, I’m just left scratching my head and left wondering how old is the OP (of the other thread not this one). I guess the whole concept is beyond me, on my wedding day I was so focused on committing my life to DH and celebrating the love we share, the last thing on my mind was to find a way to dig at something we hate.

    I suppose as a Christian I won’t be offended, I’ll just probably be thinking she cares an awefully lot about something she doesn’t believe in. I suppose I don’t get wanting to make fun of something that has no bearings on the way you life. My advice is to start your marriage on the foundation of your  love not the derison of others.

    Post # 140
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’d rank it as about as offensive as telling the wedding guests that spreading the good news about the wedding is actually spreading Jesus’ gospel.  ._.


    Post # 141
    262 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I don’t think it’s necessarily “offensive”. But, I can’t imagine why anyone would desire anything but positivity during their wedding ceremony…


    Post # 142
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I am an American Catholic who is marrying a British atheist.  He literally does not believe in a supernatural power.  I respect that.  Likewise he respects my belief in God and my chosen method of worship. 

    Let me be even clearer.  He does not believe or espouse an ideology that denigrates others for believing.  He does not rank certain historic terrorist despotic popes as being better than historic terrorist despotic atheists like Stalin, Pol Pot or Hitler.  And he doesn’t use extremist evangelicals or fundamentalist muslims who have chosen to use the Bible or Koran to predict damnation for others as an excuse to stereotype all believers and lump us into a group that deserves to be similarly chastised for our beliefs. 

    He simply does not believe in anything and he is happy and at peace and is not threatened by my choice to believe or vice versa.  I don’t try to get him to attend mass with me and he doesn’t try to keep me from going.  We love each other unconditionally just as we are.  We will have a Catholic ceremony because he couldn’t care less either way while I do care because it is a part of my belief system. He doesn’t have a belief system.    And by the way I’ve never attended a mass at my particular parish where others were told they would go to hell for not believing.  In fact Pope Francis just recently said God loves atheists too.

    I doubt that selectively making fun of religion as though all atheists are inherently perfect will be something that you will look back on in years to come with joy and glee.  Two wrongs have never made a right.  But sometimes experience is the best teacher so if you’re sure that’s the memory you want to create so be it.  Just remember once that moment comes and goes there’s no undoing it if you’re wrong.

    Post # 143
    1367 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I reallllly don’t get the idea as a non-religious person so I would like OP to experiment on this one and just go ahead and have that anti-religious funny reading at her wedding, then come back and review how it went. With a video and photos. I am not being sarcastic. I honestly would like to see it.

    Post # 144
    93 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    A wedding is not the place to poke fun at religion. it’s about love and starting a new life and celebrating with family and friends. anybody who wants to choose a public forum to poke fun at a religion can go online.

    Post # 145
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

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    @carebee:  one atheist doesn’t represent all atheists, would you say that all members of one religion represent all other members of that religion? (I know atheism isn’t a religion, it’s the lack of religion, but it’s the same concept). Adolf Hitler was VERY Christian and talked about it all the time, does he then represent all Christians??? That being said I agree that it is a form of prejudice however your post was just as prejudiced against atheists.  

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