SPINOFF: Prenups… preYUP or preNOPE

posted 1 year ago in Money
  • poll: What’s your experience with prenups?
    I was presented with one and signed it : (5 votes)
    5 %
    I was presented with one and declined to sign : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I gave one to SO and he/she signed : (6 votes)
    6 %
    I gave one to SO and he/she didn’t sign : (0 votes)
    No prenup was discussed : (68 votes)
    66 %
    Other : (22 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9578 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2016

    Ugh I hate all these options.

    I suggested one, since no matter what when you get married you’re signing a contract. Darling Husband and I talked about what we did and didn’t want to change in the existing state law and from that agreed on our prenup, then we got lawyers and put it in writing.

    We came up with our prenup together, based on what we felt was fair. It was not me going to a lawyer and presenting him with something to sign or else.

    Post # 3
    Member
    342 posts
    Helper bee

    somathemagical :  If you have substantial assets that were aquired before marriage, its a total yup.  

    However, I’m extremely poor, and my Fiance is extremely poor and we have no assets to speak of other than a small savings account and decently funded 401ks.  In my estimation, there was no need to prenup.  We will likely aquire most of our assets together.

    I think they are most useful for older couples who have had time to aquire houses, build business or are on their second marriage.  Really, there is no need for a younger couple to have them unless they somehow won the lottery or started a facebook equivelent.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    9509 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We talked about it briefly but in the end we decided not to.

    I think they are fine as long as they are fair to both parties.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4059 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    We were broke AF when we got married, so he was welcome to my half of nothing. Still is 😛

    Post # 6
    Member
    765 posts
    Busy bee

    We don’t have one, we discussed it and didn’t think it was necessary. However, I think pre-nups can be smart and reasonable. Both parties have lawyers and it can protect both. Because there’s nothing to be offended about, even if you don’t think you’ll get divorced. In that scenario, it’s just paper and won’t do anything because you’ll never get divorced. The most important thing in signing a pre-nup, I think, is communication and trust. And if you can trust each others motives and communicate it well, everything should be ok. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    125 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m just here to say the title of this thread made me chuckle. So thank you for that!

    Post # 9
    Member
    9224 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We had more or less equal assets going in, so never considered one. If we hadn’t though, sure.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3064 posts
    Sugar bee

    somathemagical :  Nobody marries believing they might eventually divorce. But it can happen; no one can be certain that it won’t. Divorce proceedings get nasty and brutal pretty quickly in many instances. A prenup is a great way to avoid many unpleasant situations in this scenario. After all, a couple who is divorcing is already dealing with sadness/frustration/anger; why complicate it even more with financial arguments?

    Post # 12
    Member
    3580 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    It never came up in conversation and I really didn’t have anything to lose before marrying anyways. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    2005 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    We talked about it because he makes much more then I do, and stands to inherite his parents money when they pass. I told him he it made him comfortable, I would sign one. 

    We decided not to do it however. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    14966 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We had similar enough assets and similar salary and earning potential so prenup was never brought up.  He now outearns me by 30-40% on a slightly different career path than before, so I’d definitely call us even now if I were to lose half of what was “mine” coming into the marriage.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Personally I don’t find anything wrong with it as long as as others have said it is fair and mutually agreeable to both parties. 

    I also agree with claroquesi that it is more prudent to evaluate before the S hits the fan versus after. 

    I think in my heart that if things were to go sour (or at least like to think) that we’re both mature and wouldn’t be a&&holes to each other if God forbid anything happened between fi and I but the truth is you never really know. Marriage takes work!

     

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