SPINOFF: Prenups… preYUP or preNOPE

posted 1 year ago in Money
  • poll: What’s your experience with prenups?
    I was presented with one and signed it : (5 votes)
    5 %
    I was presented with one and declined to sign : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I gave one to SO and he/she signed : (6 votes)
    6 %
    I gave one to SO and he/she didn’t sign : (0 votes)
    No prenup was discussed : (68 votes)
    66 %
    Other : (22 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 46
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I voted Other because earlier in our relationship Fiance had mentioned signing a prenup.  I told him I was okay with it, but since getting engaged he hasn’t mentioned it at all.  I even brought it up once and he still hasn’t done anything.

    I’ve always believed there is nothing wrong with prenups as long as BOTH parties are protected and it is fair.

    Post # 47
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2019

    We’re planning to do a prenup, this is something my Fiance talked about prior to engagement and something that his mother even suggested.  I have substantially more assets than he does and my mortgage as my only debt whereas he has far fewer assets and school debt.

    Post # 48
    1105 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I am not opposed in theory, but there is no reason for us to get one. If we decided to go to court to fight over assets there would be no assets left after paying the lawyers, so that is deterrent enough for me. There is also no indication that this will change anytime soon. I also feel like if I pick the wrong person and they steal my car in divorce court then it serves me right for picking the wrong person. I might feel differently if I had 10 mil to steal. 

    That being said, in some States there are things you can do in a prenup that benefit the marriage more than one spouse over another. In SOME circumstances if you live in a community property state you can create a separate property regime which will work to the detriment of your spouse/you but it will also work to the detriment of your creditors. It can also protect pre-existing children. 

    Post # 49
    648 posts
    Busy bee

    The only thing I’m bringing into the marriage is a mountain of student loan debt. If he wanted me to sign one I’d be fine with it. 

    Post # 50
    1766 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We have imbalanced assets and pensions, but they are significant. We did a cohab agreement before moving in together which we mutually agreed on. We’ll do the same when we marry.

    The house we’re building is about 20-25% mine and the rest is his based on the cash we’re each dumping in since we won’t have a mortgage. I gain 1% of the house equity each year we’re married until 20 years at which point it’s 50/50. My FH jokes if I can tolerate him for 20 years I deserve it lol. We each keep our own savings, investments and pensions. Our pre-nup won’t be for things like household furnishings. All of the new house stuff will be 50/50 bought and 50/50 divided.

    We just each needed to protect ourselves financially. He’s widowed and I’m divorced and we both know life can and does change and that you need to be prepared. 

    The initial cohab was prepared by his lawyer and then mine went through it with me and recommended the changes needed, then those we’re made. We each submitted a full accounting of our investments, savings and pensions. We’ll do the same thing when we do the pre-nup. I’ve already been working with my lawyer to update my assets list, and I know he’s been doing the same. 

    Edited to add: neither of us has any debt beyond neglible credit card balances. I currently make about 10% less than him in my field, however I’m 14 years younger and should be out earning him in about 3 years, my career has more upward mobility and growth than his.

    Post # 51
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if they are fair and you agree and now day with women working and being the bread maker it’s not a bad idea to have one for the husband to sign 

    Post # 52
    9173 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we talked about it.  i have significant assets and Darling Husband has/had nothing.  he was ok with signing one.  in the end i didn’t get one.  i didn’t want to spend the money on the lawyer fees.  i did some research and discover i live in a separate property state so whatever was mine before marriage would be mine afterwards.


    Post # 53
    393 posts
    Helper bee

    I’m from the UK and they aren’t that legally binding here. I definitely would get one though, I’ve talked about it so many times with my fiance after watching him go through a divorce and get everything taken off him and I don’t want that for either of us IF we divorce.

    not that we have much haha 

    Post # 54
    352 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think my SO will ask for one, but I would gladly sign it. He owns our home, makes more and has more savings. I will probably catch up in earnings but also bring student loan debt.

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