(Closed) SPINOFF: "push presents" – awesome or awful?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Push presents...

    Are never obnoxious! A woman should get/deserves a push present.

    Could be obnoxious if the woman asks for/specifies the gift.

    Are always obnoxious! Why do you need a gift after giving birth?

    Obligatory "Other"

  • Post # 77
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I don’t really feel like they are necessary, but they sure are nice 🙂

    I also don’t think it’s wrong to request a certain gift. We request certain Christmas gifts, don’t we? (btw, wouldn’t Christmas gifts basically be push presents in honor of Jesus’ birth? lol)

    I want an awesome piece of jewelry, & I won’t be afraid to ask 😛

    Post # 79
    Member
    330 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    hahaha if I tried to explain this concept to my husband he would tell me that my present was the baby. Then he would probably walk around confused for a few hours trying to work it out in his head. 

    Totally lame, if you want children then why the hell would you need a present for doing so? And if you didn’t want children then, well that’s just another story altogether…

    Post # 80
    Member
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @gingerkitten:  I agree that telling most people “Hey, I want ______ for Christmas this year!” is pretty rude & obnoxious, but this is my *husband* I’m talking about. All throughout the year we both tell each other “Oh honey, if you’re wondering what to get me for Christmas/Birthday, _________ is it!”

    I don’t have to worry too much about being “politically correct” with my own husband.

    Post # 81
    Member
    923 posts
    Busy bee

    I think the term push present is disgusting, but if when we decide to have a baby I decide that I want my partner to buy me a kate spade bag as a reward for getting fat, covered in stretch marks and then pushing a tiny human out of my vagina then that is between the two of us and I could care less who thinks I’m tacky!

    also I totally tell Fiance exactly what I want for christmas/birthday/whatever, because he asks me to tell him, and he does the same with me. We would both rather get exactly what we want, instead of potentially wasting money!

     

    Post # 82
    Member
    182 posts
    Blushing bee

    I thought the baby was the present and what makes the pain of childbirth worthwhile.

     

    Post # 83
    Member
    2944 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Like PPs have said, push presents as an idea have been around forever, but I only heard about the modern term here on WB. Six years ago, I was chatting up a male coworker about the imminent birth of his son and first child. He mentioned being really excited after finding out the gender because then he knew what color gem to get for his wife’s mother and child pendant. It was pretty adorable to see this usually reserved guy get all gushy about it. Since then, I’ve seen other dads-to-be act the same way, and that has colored my opinion. It seems like a really sweet gesture and a way for men to do something sentimental to commemorate the event. I think it would even be fine if he were to ask for his wife’s opinion/preference, but I’d side-eye a woman who flat out asked for it.

    Now a Prada bag, Louboutins, or a luxury car…that’s just tacky and materialistic.

    Post # 84
    Member
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    View original reply
    @joya_aspera:  I am with you. 

    I would feel hurt and offended if my husband were to present me with such a gift. And I am speaking as someone who is generally very fond of gifts – not for their material values, but for the messages they send. It’s the food he picks up on his way home from work because he remembers my favorites. It’s the things he gets because he recalls me mentioning them. It’s the things he gives me because they remind him of me in some ways. I am entirely unsure what message the “push-present” would send. I go through labor to give birth to my child – MY CHILD – and I don’t need to be paid for it. I am not a service that produces cub, and I would not appreciate any sort of tipping. 

    God forbid I choose to adopt – I guess I would only get a paperwork-present then.

    Post # 85
    Member
    7638 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @gingerkitten:  I find the name obnoxious. So what do I get for my C-sections – a “cut her open” present?

    If the husband wants to give a gift then fine, but I find it obnoxious that some parts of popular culture are saying it’s expected.

    Post # 86
    Member
    2597 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    ^ Ditto. I dont’ like the name, or the idea that it’s obligatory or something. 

    But I think the overall idea of it is fine–my father gave my mom a ring to commemorate the birth of my sister (the last one!), and I’ve always thought that was a nice gesture. 

    Post # 87
    Member
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think it’s a “to each their own” type thing.  I wouldn’t expect one or necessarily want one, but   I think it’s a sweet thing to do if the husbands wants to.  If you’ve had a natural birth you’ve had to endure labor, if you’ve had a c-section you’ve got a painful recovery in store for you.  I’d say a gift for going through all that’s a nice gesture.  Not a great comparison, but if my husband went to the hospital with a broken leg I’d want to spoil him during his physical ordeal with attention and treats/gifts.

     

    Post # 88
    Member
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    people get so hung up on the name. a gift, for example jewellery, to commemorate the birth of a child from husband to wife has existed for centuries – eg henry viii used to do it with his wives. this is not a modern concept, the modern aspect is giving it a vulgar name

    i think as with all gifts, its tacky if its asked for. but its lovely if its received

    and yes, yes, obviously…the baby is much loved and is the whole reason women go through this. no one has a baby for a necklace or whatever. but i think its sweet when husbands want to mark  the occasion.  and the fact that the 9 long months and ordeal of childbirth is over. because  i might not have had my baby yet but being pregnant isn’t a picnic

    and frankly, when i read some threads like iarebridezilla’s vaganus thread – i think she bloody well deserves something pretty awesome!!!

     

    Post # 89
    Member
    3075 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Lol if I have a kid I’m going to want one! Ha ha but nothing extravagant! Maybe our kids birthstone or something to symbolize it, not some random crap like a new car as a PP mentioned. Though if he surprised me with one I wouldn’t turn it down 😛

    Post # 90
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    A gift to commemorate the birth of a child is sweet, but I hate the phrase “push present”.  It’s crass and also implies a commercial transaction: I push out a baby in exchange for a pretty bauble.

    Post # 91
    Member
    154 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Push presents are a big deal in my family and have been for a while! My dad even gave one to my mom when she had me.

    The mama-to-be usually gets a nice piece of jewellery or other luxury item.

    I’m not complaining…helllllllo diamond earrings!

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