(Closed) SPINOFF: "push presents" – awesome or awful?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Push presents...

    Are never obnoxious! A woman should get/deserves a push present.

    Could be obnoxious if the woman asks for/specifies the gift.

    Are always obnoxious! Why do you need a gift after giving birth?

    Obligatory "Other"

  • Post # 92
    Member
    1648 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2000

    I think it’s a nice gesture if the dad wants to get something for the mother.  I already know what my push present is – a Celine Luggage Tote.  My husband said he’d buy me one whenever we have a baby after seeing me look at it online because I’m currently looking to buy one… soooo if he wants to buy it, fine with me!

    Post # 93
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @joya_aspera:  I totally agree! 

    I just find it demeaning to women. Why do you need a reward because you gave birth?

    Does the man get a reward because he knocked you up? 

    It just strikes me of condescending towards women like your doing your duty popping out the heir.

    I’d rather get a nice present for a promotion, or graduating or running a marathon like soemthing you actually worked at hard.

    Getting pregnant and giving birth is just pretty much a bodily function.

     

     

    Post # 94
    Member
    13943 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think they’re sweet.  My dad got my mom a gift for each birth, and she has told us she’s passing that gift down to us later in life.  I think it’s a nice gesture, but I think asking (or demanding) for one is rude.

    Post # 95
    Member
    669 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I love the idea of getting a piece of jewelry that will remind you of the special time together and the birth of your baby.  A purse seems a bit odd- b/c you won’t keep it forever.   That being said, I don’t like when women assume they deserve it b/c they are pregnant.  That’s annoying. 

    Post # 96
    Member
    376 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Women have been giving birth for hundreds years, and while I’m sure it’s painful and not a fun thing, they aren’t entitled to a present for doing it. What, just because the husband doesn’t experience the pain then he has to drop money on a present to thank the mom?

    If a husband/father wants to do something special they have every right to. But I’d never expect it nor ask for it and it seems pretty silly to me.

    Post # 97
    Bee
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    I think small sentiments are really sweet, but super expensive presents are a little over the top. One of our friends got a VW Tiguan for her push present. Um…?

    Post # 98
    Member
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I actually rather like the concept.

     

    In my mind, it acknowledges that women no longer have to subject ourselves to childbirth, and that labour is pretty hardcore.

     

    It is no longer “Oh, you’re a married woman, you giving birth is just your lot in life” but something we can choose to gift our partnerships with. Getting a little present in return for birthing both parties’ child seems appropriate.

     

     

     

    And please, could we just stop pretending like supplying the ‘seed’ is as tough as labour, in the holy crusade for equality?

     

    Post # 99
    Member
    745 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    @HappySky7:  Heh, exactly…I totally agree.

    The baby I think is more than enough “present”! 

    Post # 100
    Member
    2089 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @gingerkitten:  Growing up in the UK I have seen many women being given eternity rings either on their first anniversary or on the birth of their first child. In the UK it is not called a push present. It’s just a symbol of love and commitment. Fiance has promised me an eternity ring after we have the first baby. I think it’s lovely. I think the term “push presents” demeans it a little. Honestly I think Fiance would give it to me earlier but he needs to save up 🙂 for reference (and because I am totally in love with it) I have included a photo of the ring

    Post # 101
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I voted number two. I don’t think it’s new as some older women I know have small things they got with each child.

    What I think is distasteful is the whole commercialization that tried to be built about that, a couple years ago you started seeing all these articles on them, basically a ploy to get people to buy more nonsense they don’t need. 

    I’m pretty sure there probably post around here with someone complaining about it. I’ve also seen people complaining because their husband didn’t get them a gift the day o fthe wedding.

    Post # 102
    Member
    799 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    View original reply
    @MrsSkeletonKey:  Fiance and are the same way. I am actually way annoyed when he doesnt drop hints about things he wants. I feel like i’m wasting money on something he will not want. 

    I love push gifts. My dad gave my mother a necklace commemorating my birth (they didnt call it push gifts back then). I always loved seeing her wear it when i was a child– because he gave it to her for “having a beautiful baby (me!!)”. i think it is sweet. 

    Post # 103
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @Idunn:  

    It is no longer “Oh, you’re a married woman, you giving birth is just your lot in life” but something we can choose to gift our partnerships with. Getting a little present in return for birthing both parties’ child seems appropriate.

     

     

    And please, could we just stop pretending like supplying the ‘seed’ is as tough as labour, in the holy crusade for equality?

     

    Giving birth is not our lot in life but it is our choice. Like many things in life it’s hard and painful. But you are doing it out of your personal desire to have a child.

    Why should that be rewarded?

    No one is forcing you, it’s your choice if you don’t want to go through labour you can always adopt.


    Post # 104
    Member
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    View original reply
    @walnutgirl:  Why shouldn’t you get a present? You are doing this for both you AND your partner, and getting a “thank you for doing this for US” doesn’t seem too much to expect.

    Now, the size or monitary value of said “thank you” I don’t really think is important, but I suppose it depends on the normal gift-giving between the partners. It’s more the symbol of it I find appealing.

    @linnylou_88 That is gorgeous!

     

    Post # 105
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    View original reply
    @Idunn:  Well you are doing it for both of you, but partners do things for each other all the time. It’s part of being married.

    I like the idea of getting something to commemorate the moment (lockets, or charms for a bracelet) but I find the idea of my partner giving a present because I went through childbirth just very tacky. I just don’t like the highlight that it puts on the giving birth which as I said at the end of the day is merely a bodily function. 

    The act of giving birth itself doesn’t deserve a reward being a great parent or commemorating and event in your lives is different.

    Post # 106
    Member
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @gingerkitten:  It depends. A woman doesn’t need a present, but her SO giving her flowers or some new pyjamas or anything to make her feel more comfortable is nice. I don’t even think giving your wife jewellery is obnoxious – I mean what is a more special occasion than the birth of your child? Is it obnoxious to give your wife jewellery on her birthday or your anniversary? No. It’s a sentimental occasion to mark something special. 

    I don’t think that a woman deserves a ‘reward’ for giving birth, though. As pps have said the baby is the reward. If the woman’s SO wants to get her something nice then I think it’s up to them. It shouldn’t be forced on anyone, though. 

    ETA: Can I say how much I hate the term ‘push present’? Ugh. 

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