(Closed) Spinoff: "Retard(ed)"

posted 6 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
8040 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Lol oh nooo. How quickly before this one now degenerates?

Post # 5
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my. Can we just make bets about how long until someone flips out, despite having zero context?

Post # 6
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

fallbride1109 said

@melisslp:  But “handicap” implies a partial impairment (in my head), and “disabled” always sounds to me that the person is completely incapable of doing something. Anyways, semantics don’t always make sense to me… 

Disabled essentially means “not able”.  So, children in Missouri may receive an educational diagnosis of Learning Disabled in the area of Reading, Math, or Written Expression.  Individuals may also qualify as a student with an Intellectually Disability.  This means that they have cognitive delays that impact all areas of learning, including adaptive behaviors (self care, etc.).  

Post # 8
2556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@the_future_mrs:  why ya gotta play on my insecurities?! 🙁


PS – I’ve also officially joined the wine party tonight. 

Post # 9
5543 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think using terms that are viewed as offensive by the people being described should be avoided. Though there is some blur because my uncle who’s son is severely autistic uses “retard” more than anyone I know, but always in a reference like “Nathan(the son with autism) and retard back here” discribing his other, “normal” son. It is how he copes, his sarcasm and bad jokes are how he deals with his son’s diagnosis. And in the world of special needs work, there are all these other PC rules too that people don’t know. Like, it should always be “the child with XX disability” no the “downs kid” or “autistic kid” because they are a child discribed by a diagnosis, not just a diagnosis. But I know lots of parents of children with autism who discribe their own kids as “Little timmy is Autistic” and if that is how they personally want to do it, who am I to tell them not to?

The same to me with race/ethnic discriptions. If someone wants to be called “African-American” or “black” or “North Texan with a smidge of Oklahoman” then that is what I will call them. I am totally content being the “white” chick because no one REALLY wants to get into the mess that is my genetic make up. A lot has to do with intent too I think, if one is using an otherwise PC term in a malicious manner, well then it still isnt nice. 

Post # 10
7900 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’m jumping in to I-don’t-know-what.

Semantically, “retarded” is a perfectly fine word as it really does simply mean “slowed down,” and would therefore apply to anyone with a below average pace of learning or acquiring skills. However, the word has assumed a negative connotation through use and we have to acknowledge that.

“Disabled” means able in a different way or not able. The Latin prefix dis- on English words can mean “apart, in different directions, not.” So DH’s brother, who is mentally disabled due to a childhood stroke, is still able in many ways, but not always in the same ways that the average person is able. In a way “differently abled” is a perfect euphamism for “disabled” since that is actually what “disabled” means.

Post # 11
4371 posts
Honey bee

I’m of the general opinion I dislike banning words. 

Post # 12
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@melisslp:  I’m not debating the specific diagnoses, I’m just pointing out how it sounds to a lay(wo)man. Especially using your definition, Learning Disabled = Not Able to Learn. I think that isn’t the best way to explain. 

@chasesgirl:  It’s all difficult. I try my best, and if someone prefers I use a different term, I will do so going forward. 




brb, going to grab scissors and chop off my split ends. 

Post # 14
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@the_future_mrs:  OMG I haven’t had my haircut since my hair trial for my wedding, how did you know?


Post # 15
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Okay….I did not see what I’m assuming is the original post on a different thread for this…

I work with people with special needs…..people can be considered “differently abled”…and learning disability is not that they CAN’T learn, they learn differently or are delayed in the learning process from what is deemed “normal” by specific testing….

There are so many different types of disabilities, special needs, etc that lumping them into “retard” doesn’t serve any type of purpose….

Using this word can be hurtful to people, especially people with the disability.

I once went to a battle of the bands in college and a lead singer went on about the “retard Corky” (from that show, can’t remember the name)….I went off on him (yup during the show) and he publicly apologized…..afterwards a lot of people expressed gratefulness to me for standing up to him….BUT, this guy was saying it in a very public forum (a rock show) and was just being rude and thinking he was being funny…..

Sometimes people use this word without thinking, and I do remind them what my job is….but I will admit, I call my dog retard sometimes…..she can be a little stupid (she ate a loaf of bread last night that the cat knocked down for her)….they both got called retards this morning when I found the evidence….lol

I think context and where it is being said is important as well….

Post # 16
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

I personally feel like it’s wrong to refer to someone who is mentall handicapped, disabled, what have you, as “retarded”. However, I do not have any personal involvement with someone who is considered “retarded”, so I feel like it’s not my place to use the word just because I have no problem with it.

I don’t say the word because it makes others uncomfortable, particularly parents/relatives/friends of mentally handicapped people. But, if I know none of those people are around, I use the word. Like, if I’m talking to a friend or something and need to describe a mentally handicapped person, i’ll call them retarded, because to me, that means “slow.”

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