(Closed) Spinoff – SAHFs?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Stay at Home Fathers/Husbands?

    I would be totally cool with it IF I made enough money to cover our expenses.

    No way! Women should stay at home, not men!

    Really depends on the circumstances.

    My SO/FH/DH would not mind or even love to stay at home.

    There is NO WAY my SO/FH/DH would be a SAHF/SAHH!

    I cannot even picture this as a possibility.

    Cupcakes totally rock!

  • Post # 3
    2876 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    In theory, I would be completely fine with this if it made financial sense. I would not be resentful but would probably have a little good-natured envy going on. In reality, my darling DH is kind of lax with the chores, and the house would not be as well-kept if the bulk of the work was left to him, haha.

    ETA: He loves what he does, and he would never completely stop working. However, if it made more financial sense for him to cut back his hours and be the primary caregiver, he would be okay with it.

    Post # 4
    2253 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I’d be ok with it. DH is leaving his job to return to school fulltime. In the coming years until he completes his degree, I will be the breadwinner. If we have children during this time, it’s understood he’ll be the primary caregiver while I work. We just want one of us to be more available for our future children. It doesn’t matter to us who it is.  

    Post # 5
    1348 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d never want to put my SO out of work for a lengthy amount of time. If I were to pass away before retirement he would have great difficulty getting back into the business world. He does want to have a recording studio at some point. If it were profitable and he was able to get steady income I wouldn’t mind covering the majority of our living expenses so long as he kept up the house, garden, and animals. I’d like to have property one day and to live as much off the land as possible.

    Post # 6
    95 posts
    Worker bee

    We’ve talked about it. We’re ages (5+ years) away from this situation, but if then we are still working similar jobs to now it would make sense. Then we could both be home rather than him away every other week. He’s says he could, but maybe as a share thing, he’d stay home with one kid, I might with the next. I think I’d really struggle with it though. And he’d definitely have to up his willingness for domestic duties! 

    Post # 7
    3229 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I wouldn’t mind if I made enough money to support are lifestyle.  Unfortunately DH can only make like three meals so I would still have to do most of the cooking.  Oh and DH would NEVER in a million years agree to this.  Plus he makes more so…

    Post # 8
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I make good money but not enough to support a family with kids. I will have to be the primary breadwinner (with the help of DH’s medical retirement) for about 18 months while DH goes back to school. I don’t mind but it bugs him a lot. He’s very proud and takes being the family provider very seriously. He’s pretty traditional as far as that goes. He very much looks forward to the day he will be able to provide another income on top of his retirement settlement. 

    I can never see DH as a as Stay-At-Home Dad. He’d go stark raving mad. Plus, while he loves kids, he wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to do all day with a baby or small child. I find it funny that he’s intimidated by babies but tangles with violent gang bangers on a regular basis. He needs me to tell him what needs to be done along with a demonstration (or 10). I’m sure he could learn but he would rather not.  He’s more than willing to play a supporting role once our babies come along but he’s  more than happy letting me take on the primary parenting duties in our house. 

    Post # 10
    7309 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I would have no issue with Mr. LK wanting to stay home and raise our family/handle all of the day-to-day household operations. However that would be his definition of hell. LOL We both define ourselves in large part by our careers, and he would be lost without outside work.

    Post # 11
    9681 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @trueblue14:  My husband would never want to do this. Even if I made a million dollars, he’d never stay home. If we could both stay home, that would be a different story. I feel the same way.

    Post # 12
    7577 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @trueblue14:  the problem I see with my DH staying home is that I would obviously need to take off for a bit too. Although I get some maternity leave, it’s only half past during that leave. It would be a struggle for us during that time period if he wasn’t working at all and I was only getting half of my pay.

    We aren’t sure we are going to have kids but we have discussed either one of us staying home. The deciding factor would be who makes more. Right now he makes a bit more but with promotions or job switches there is a very good chance i could make more. I personally would not want to stay home while he has expressed an interest. However, at this point in time (and pretending we had two kids which is the only reason one of us would stay home) my salary would not allow us to live the life style that we want.


    Post # 13
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My Fiance does a lot of freelancing, writing, and is growing an online blog in to a business right now. If he either of us had to stay at home, the best option would be for him to do it as long as he could designate some “work” time in his schedule. 

    But yeah, I dont see an issue with it if that became a reality. Him not working and me being the bread winner wouldn’t be terrible practical since I work in non-profits. 

    Post # 14
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    SAHDs are ADORABLE! My DH could never be one, though… Which is good, because my utimate goal was to be a SAHM!

    Post # 15
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    Neither one of us wants to be a stay at home spouse, just at home.  I’m sure if I was in the 1% in Canada, DH might consider doing something that doesn’t bring in an income, just as I answered in the other thread.

    Post # 16
    1399 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    One of my good friends is a physician and her husband is a stay at home dad to their 3 kids.

    It’s an awesome dynamic.

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