(Closed) SPINOFF – Seriously, Bridesmaids!? How did you choose yours?!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Bridesmaids!? Please select all that apply.
    It was easy for me to choose my bridesmaids. : (139 votes)
    39 %
    It was super hard for me to choose my bridesmaids. : (37 votes)
    10 %
    Choosing my bridesmaids left some people with hurt feelings. : (30 votes)
    8 %
    I only wanted a specific number and had to leave some people out. : (23 votes)
    6 %
    I have regrets with my bridesmaids (wish I had asked people I didn't ask). : (15 votes)
    4 %
    I have regrets with my bridesmaids (wish I did not ask people I did ask). : (38 votes)
    11 %
    I didnt have bridesmaids because I didnt want this kind of drama. : (7 votes)
    2 %
    I didnt have bridesmaids. : (12 votes)
    3 %
    Choosing bridesmaids is very stressful for a bride to be. : (53 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    10288 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Choosing my bridesmaids was as easy as could be. I’m an only child and my group of “best friends” consists of 3 girls who I’ve been friends with since elementary school/jr. high so they were the obvious choice. It worked out perfectly since Darling Husband only wanted his brother (best man) and his two best friends in the wedding so 3 on each side. 

    Post # 4
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I didn’t vote because my experience didn’t really fit the options… I wouldn’t say it was super hard to choose bridesmaids, but I found it moderately hard.  And I just asked them (wedding over a year away) so I’m not sure yet about hurt feelings.  


    I asked those who are closest to me, plus FI’s sister.  FI and I collaborated on the number (six) on each side because we like symmetry.  It felt overwhelming when I started thinking about it (I have a lot of girlfriends) but once I thought about it for a bit, I felt clearer about who I am closest to.  I am currently very happy with my choice! These are all ladies who I’ve been close to for 12+ years, so I don’t see things changing drastically.  And Fiance and his sister are close, and I’m excited to get closer to her through this process.

    Post # 5
    5096 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I didn’t have bridesmaids. I have about 8 extremely close female friends who I could never choose between, and no sisters or female cousins to make it a “family only” Bridal Party. I certainly wasn’t about to have 8 bridesmaids at a 60 person wedding, so it was easier to just do without.

    Post # 6
    4606 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I don’t think I’m having any. I only have two really good female friends, I’m not close to any females in my own family so it was just easier not to have them.

    I wanted someone who could be there for me and help me if I needed them to. Friend A doesn’t fit this bill, her own wedding was a complete disorganized mess and I need someone more organized than that. Friend B fits that bill, but Friend A would be hurt if I didn’t include her so either I ask them both or neither of them. I guess it will depend on lots of things down the road, but for now I’m really on the fence leaning more towards “none”.

    Post # 7
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I am still debating and I’m glad I have time. I know at least one for sure, my neice. She may only be in middle school but I love that girl to death and I know how excited she’ll be when I ask her. I would like my one sister to be in it but I don’t know if she’ll say yes for a variety of reasons, none because she doesn’t want to but other factors. And I am thinking of asking my one friend who will always be there for me no matter what.

    That said there are two or three others I’d like to ask but not entirely sure if I will. One cause we are having a smaller wedding ceremony and I really think three to four is the max that I’d ask. So I may ask these others to do something else important to me.

    Then I have to think about what each title will be for the girls in the party. At this moment, I’m thinking they are either going to be all maids or matrons of honor. But I think i might settle with my neice as my maid of honor and then whomever else would just be bridesmaids

    I know I am overthinking and once I really decide on everything it won’t be hard. It’s just right now I really don’t know and that bugs me. haha

    Post # 8
    914 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m not having any. Unless you count my 3 year old daughter. But she’s pretty drama free and likes everything I get her. I could put her in a pink potato sack and she’d love it.

    Post # 9
    1474 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)

    I just had one Maid/Matron of Honor, and it was perfect! The idea of choosing BMs seriously stressed me out, and Darling Husband and I really just wanted to keep things simple. So I chose my sister, and that was it! Best wedding party experience ever, hands down.

    Post # 10
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It was really easy. My four best friends, and FH’s sisters. The end.

    Post # 11
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It was easy.  I wanted my brother’s wife in my wedding because she is super nice and has a very calming presence.  I asked my close friend from college and the two girlfriends I’ve stayed friends with since high school. 

    Post # 12
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Choosing my Maid/Matron of Honor was super easy since I only have one sibling and she’s a girl. My other obvious choice was my mother’s best friend’s daughter, who’s my childhood friend. Then another very good friend since middle school. After that, I had someone who I’ve been close to since middle school, and there was another girl who was also sort of part of that group. I ended up asking both to avoid hurt feelings. Then I chose my cousin who’s close in age to me, and since my husband also has a cousin that is my age (and who is friends with my whole Bridal Party from college) I included her. Then, I asked the two girls who sort of set my husband and I up. I had one moderately close friend who actually assumed she was a bridesmaid and I included her. I also asked my best friend who lives overseas but she couldn’t come to the wedding. Before the wedding the two girls that set us up dropped out (one surprisingly) and since my BFF couldn’t come, that left 7 girls (plus my husband’s sisters and mine but they weren’t considered to be in the actual bridal party and wore different dresses and color). I really wish I’d narrowed it down and not felt obligated to include as many people as I did. 

    Post # 13
    192 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    For me it was moderately easy. My brother as Maid/Matron of Honor and my cousin that I am closest too. I also asked a friend from work at the time. A couple of the original people as we drifted apart opted out themselves. I asked five and ended up with 3.

    Pick people who are genuienly happy for you, want to help, and if that means waiting a little bit before picking then wait a little bit.  

    I could not have done it without my amazing BM’s. They made sure I was on time, stress free, and there for every need with out me asking or expecting anything. They were constantly asking if I needed help getting vendors together and giving me suggestions and setting ground work. They were on top of the shower/bachorette parties, and their attire. I literally did not have to worry about anything with any of them, they actually wanted me to be a little more demanding of them regarding what they were wearing as far as hair, shoes, and jewerly.

    Post # 14
    802 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Super easy. Two women who mean the world to me- my sister and DH’s sister. I knew before I was engaged I would have my sister by my side & it just felt natural to have SIL with us

    Post # 15
    8882 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I found it very easy. I’ve always known who would be in my wedding (MOH and 3 bridesmaids) and I added one more because I’ve grown closer to another friend.

    Post # 16
    5475 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I found it easy because we weren’t worried about having uneven sides (in fact, I think it really cut down on the drama for one of us to cut someone we really wanted while the other person would have to find a “filler”…)

    Another piece of advice would be to wait until less than a year from your wedding.  People change, relationships change, and apparently weddings bring out the crazy in all of us.

    The topic ‘SPINOFF – Seriously, Bridesmaids!? How did you choose yours?!’ is closed to new replies.

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