Post # 1
After reading the thread about the guest who’s child destroyed a shower cake, I’m curious…
Should parents be held responsible for their child’s damage? I personally think that yes, they should be. It’s your choice to have a child and for that child to be dependent on you until they’re grown, and in every other aspect, you as a parent are responsible for their actions, so why not in the case of damage? And why shouldn’t other people hold you responsible? If your child broke something in a store, you would be expected to buy it, so why is it different in more private instances with family or friends? If it were me and a friend’s child damaged something of mine, I would hold my friend accountable. If I had a child, I would certainly hold myself accountable.
So tell me, do you think parents are financially accountable for their kids’ damage, or do people need to realize that things happen, especially when kids are involved?
ETA: On the other hand, should the person who’s property was damaged be able to “call out” the parent or express a desire for repayment? I stll say yes, but I know some bees believe it’s rude to do so.
Post # 3
Absolutely. In this case (as far as I remember) the kid was a toddler and probably didn’t know any better. If you’re the adult, BE THE ADULT and take responsibility for it by a) offering to reimburse for/replace the cake, and b) teaching your kid to wait his turn to get cake instead of grabbing a handful of it.
Post # 4
Things happen, but that doesn’t mean you get to just brush it off and not pay for damage. If an adult did it and should pay for it, so should the parent.
Post # 5
@TattedNYBride: I didn’t see the thread, but I certainly would pay to replace something my child broke in a friend or family member’s home (well, I’d at least offer). I’d also work to try to prevent the damage in the first place (by asking whether there is anything I should warn my child about, by creating rules and boundaries for where my child can play, and by keeping an eye on my child, so that hopefully he/she wouldn’t break anything.)
Post # 6
Hell yes! (you should add a poll)
Post # 7
I agree with all PPs. I think hiding behind the excuse that you’re child doesn’t know any better is awful. Maybe they don’t but it’s your job as the parent to teach them otherwise while still taking responsibility.
Post # 8
Yes absolutely. If the parent isn’t responsible, who is? If the parent doesn’t pay for it, it’s up to the owner of the destroyed property to pay to replace it, and it’s certainly not their fault.
I think that it should be ok to call them out, because otherwise rude people can just do whatever they want & take advantage of others’ politeness.
Post # 9
@TattedNYBride: absolutely. That woman should have apologized profusely and offered to pay/replace the cake.
Post # 11
@TattedNYBride: Oh wow, my thread has a spinoff! I’m genuinely pleased about this. I think it will be interesting to make a real life situation into a hypothetical one where people might be less afraid to make what they think is the right decision without being accused of being impolite. I urge anybody who might not have seen the original to answer this before you go to the first thread.
Obviously I feel that a parent should always be responsible for their child’s damage. You should always be responsible for your child and I don’t feel the need to tiptoe around asshole parents, they’re the ones in the wrong. You shouldn’t enable people to do bad things or raise bad people and I think that us standing up to this woman was absolutely the right thing to do. I doubt that she’ll learn any kind of moral lesson from it, but at least now she knows that my fellow BMs/friends and I, as people, don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour.
Post # 12
10000% yes. They are YOUR responsibility, they break YOU buy. period.
Post # 13
Yes. I have a three year old boy. And I hold his hand if there is something breakable/something he would try to get into near by. Or he gets the tone of voice that lets him know to stop. Like with the cake I would have told him right away “we do not touch this!, be VERY careful around this.” and he would. I do the same when he is around breakables in someones house or little babies. It is SO embarrassing when your kid has a fit/does something bad in front of people. But I apologize for everything, if he’s being whiney/cranky, runs into someone, etc. If he broke something I would try to replace it to the best of my financial ability.
I know people who’s kids ages 2+ act like total brats, knock stuff over, get into everything, pull the dogs/cats tails or hair, hit people, etc and they just shrug it off or chuckle like it’s cute. I really think that’s just not parenting, you buy the kid everything in the world but if your not doing your job as a parent.
Post # 14
Yup. You should always offer to pay for something your child broke.
Post # 15
Yes. If your child didn’t break it then it wouldn’t be broken. Why should anyone else pay for whatever damage was caused?
Post # 16
i think yes, most of the time.
The only exception might be if I felt like the person whose item it was was somewhat negligent themselves. Example: I have a little cousin that likes to carry a purse, and feels very grown up if you let her carry your keys/some coin kind of thing. We also have a pool, and she sometimes takes said purse in there with her. Another cousin gave her a cell phone to put in her purse, and of course she went swimming with it. In that case I kind of think… if you give a three year old your cell phone while she’s swimming… that’s on you.