Post # 1
I swear I’m going to write a book with this title one day. Because while some stuff is obvious (some people won’t approve, you’ll have to figure out how to raise your kids) some kind of isn’t.
Like: you’ll have to find out whether you can both be buried in the same graveyard. This absolutely knocked me for six when I realised it was something we needed to check out.
I for one feel better identifying possible issues and figuring out how to navigate them, rather than waiting for them to come along. So I wondered if anyone else would like to share those things that interfaith couples need to think about, but which might not occur until they happen?
Post # 3
Wow! I didn’t have an interfaith wedding, but I’d be really interested to read what others have experienced and how you make choices within your faiths.
Post # 4
The cemetery discussion is one I’m sort of dreading… What did you guys decide?
Post # 5
We had an interfaith marriage and the cemetery thing wasn’t brought up, but then I want to be cremated. That said, though I’m culturally Jewish and he was brought up Church of Scotland, we’re both atheists by belief so any kids will be taken to synagogue to keep my mum happy but won’t be pushed to believe anything unless they want to.
Post # 6
That one of the two will definitely become less relgious. And one’s religion will play a dominant role in the relationship than the others. Even if it’s a 49% and 51% split. IT WILL BE THERE.
Also, the whole burial thing… whoever wants to be cremated instead of being buried (against their religious beliefs), will need to write out a will stating this. Otherwise there is very little the spouse can do to carry out their dead hubby/wife wishes to be cremated. The family will intervene, the church may possibly get involved and at the end of the day, your spouse’s wishes will not get met.
Post # 7
@Sasha2011: Why would family and church overrule the wishes of the spouse, who is usually seen as next of kin?
Plus why “church” if it’s inter-faith? Two different Christian denominations (i.e. Baptist and Catholic) would be an inter-denominational marriage rather than interfaith.
Post # 8
@abbie017: I’d like to be buried in a Jewish cemetary (I am really not okay with the idea of being in a Christian one) and he doesn’t mind; and we’re told some Jewish cemetaries now allow burial of non-Jewish spouses, so that’s the plan.
Post # 9
Another one would definitely have to be that at least a couple family members will continually try to convert your spouse to their religion, despite multiple requests to leave them alone :/.
Post # 10
hmmm…i’m about to enter an interfaith marriage so i’m curious to follow this board. thanks for the heads up about cemetaries – not one we had thought about! fortunately, i have now checked the cemetary where all of my family is buried and and it allows all religions and cultures. good to know!
Post # 11
Well, I know from FI’s family it can be a problem – his father is estranged from his own family because he married outside his religion. Fiance is Catholic and I’m Protestant, and I don’t foresee any issues since we’ve discussed and agreed upon how to raise our kids. I don’t really care where I’m buried or whether I’m cremated (right now, at least, I don’t). What else is there? I want to get as much out in the open before the wedding!
Post # 12
Your hub’s religious uncle might corner your ordanied online officiant and ask her all about her “church” at the wedding.
Post # 13
@SpecialSundae: There are Christian fundamentalists in the US (incl. Southern Baptist), who don’t know Catholics are Christians, and usually consider protestants to be Christians, but think Catholics are something else. Makes me nutty that they do that, but it’s there.
Post # 14
@ProfessorGirl: most Catholics whom I’ve met distinguish themselves from “common” Christians. I know a girl who was all “I LOVE BEING CATHOLIC” after being confirmed as one, after having been a Christian.
I was a little confused. I thought they were the same thing.
Post # 15
@ProfessorGirl: There are Christian fundamentalists in the US (incl. Southern Baptist), who don’t know Catholics are Christians, and usually consider protestants to be Christians, but think Catholics are something else. Makes me nutty that they do that, but it’s there.
I had a roommate in college who was like that – she told me I wasn’t a Christian because I was Catholic.
Post # 16
thank God we both want to be “burned” as he puts it.