(Closed) Spinoff to the Hive: Are you a step parent?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Are you a step parent OR have you been a step parent?

    Yes- I am a step parent or have been one (or is soon to be one)

    No I am not a step parent

  • Post # 2
    Member
    2498 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Not a step parent myself, but I have a son from a PR and my Fiance is soon to be a step parent to him! DS’ dad is still in his life somewhat (every other weekend he gets him). 

    Post # 3
    Member
    5940 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

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    fromatoz :  I WAS a stepparent for 8 years and they lived with us part of that time. 4 kids. And I’m CFBC. :-p It was haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard. I feel for all you stepparents out there!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3443 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    View original reply
    fromatoz : Fiance has a 12 year old daughter. We don’t care for the word step and had a discussion about it. She decided to call me back up mom. πŸ˜„ No issues with that. We get along great and she’s honestly a wonderful addition to my life. Once she becomes a teenager things might start going left but I’m prepared. I was pretty awful from 14-18.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4845 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Not a step parent , and can’t really call my parents new partners “parents” as I was almost an adult when they remarried… but I have survived the process of blending families. It was hell on everyone involved. Not easy at all. Many mistakes were made. People going through that process have my sympathy. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I have an 11 year old daughter and my SO has a 12 year old daughter. When we marry we will both be stepparents. Our girls get along SO incredibly well and the only issues my SO and I have with it is dealing with his ex and the differences in parenting at her house. My daughter calls him dad and his daughter calls me mom. We treat the kids the same, same rules apply to both kids, etc. It was challenging at first, but again, mostly because of my stepdaughter dealing with going between 2 houses and 2 sets of rules. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    DH and I are both step-parents πŸ™‚ 

    I have an older married son & a DIL & now grandkids :). My DH has a step-son from his first marriage (it was her 2nd marriage & I think it’s great that he and his step-son are still part of each others’ lives even though the marriage broke up) He’s a year older than my son & has his own home. 

    DH and I each have a college aged daughter, my daughter lives with us full time and his daughter lives with us part-time. 

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    p.s. This may sound over-simplistic- and I admit we’ve had it easier than some because our kids get along great πŸ™‚ – but my simple rule is I treat my step-kids the way I want my DH to treat my kids. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    fromatoz :  Surprisingly this was one of the easy things, we all love spending time together and everyone likes everyone. It also helps that our extended families treat everyone the same (birthday, Christmas gifts etc). I do realize how fortunate we are in this. 

    And I don’t mean to sound smug, DH and I aren’t perfect by any means (lol we have our faults, our arguments and I was a batshit crazy waiting Bee), just that blending families went really well for us and hasn’t been an issue. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    fromatoz :  OUr kids were already teenagers when we started dating- plus DH and his ex had already been divorced for years, so any transitioning to co-parenting/ working through grievances etc was done before my time. Maybe that’s one of the reasons things went okay. 

    I agree with you that it’s a bad ‘rule’ his ex has that your step-child can’t visit your family. That just sounds spiteful and competitive of her rather than in the best interests of her child. Hopefully you and your DH can get that changed in the future. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3443 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    View original reply
    fromatoz :  I honestly had some concerns about it and said so to Fiance but his response was she’s old enough to make that decision and if her mom has an issue she should try being more involved. I said alrighty then and let it go lol

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