(Closed) Spinoff: TTC when not financially stable

posted 7 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
9538 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

View original reply
@kfiorita:  the $30,000 included:

 

 baby furniture, clothes, diapers, medical bills, childcare, car seat, stroller, etc

everything a first time family would need for the baby in the first year. 

 

the $244,000 for the child until s/he is 18 is from a 2010 survey.

 http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/getting-pregnant/articles/budgeting-for-baby.aspx

ETA: some will certainly be able to get away with spending less than $30,000 but this is pretty eye opening. hand me down funiture and clothes, a family member who will give you inexpensive or no cost babycare, etc.

 

 

Post # 19
Member
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I think it’s incredibly important. DH and I were TTC but now that we have just bought a house which will use our savings for renos we have stopped until we have another nest egg built up. We want to be able to have a good, happy life as a family, and do the things we want to do, provide our child with the experiences we want to give them. And for us this does mean overseas vacations every year. We want having a family to be some thing we enjoy not a struggle on a daily basis, which means we need to have some cash in the bank. Babies are expensive, and I say this as a Canadian. We have it far better considering that it won’t cost us thousands in health care bills just have our child With. Having money in the bank would be even more crucial if we lived in the states just so that we could start off as a family without being in debt. Having children you can’t afford to provide for is incredibly irresponsible, and based on how much my ILs have spent bailing out my SIL when she had a baby without two nickles to rub together, I would go as far as to say that it is inconsiderate of those who are stuck with the bill.

Post # 20
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

For me – financial stability means the following

  • a safe roof over our head
  • money to pay the bills and make double/triple payments toward any debt each month
  • money to keep good/healthy food on the table
  • HEALTH INSURANCE (because without this it could ruin you.)
  • Having a car that works and is reliable
  • keeping a savings account for emergencies

Financial stability, to me, does not necesarily mean

  • having zero debt
  • having lots of nice things
  • afford vacations

I guess what lots of people would consider “getting by” is what I consider stable.  My Fiance comes from a family that had VERY little growing up.  I’m sure nobody would consider his parents financially stable in the 80s and 90s  He and his siblings all grew up to get scholarships and are wonderfully well-adjusted.   

Post # 21
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i think providing you can pay bills (esp medical bills) and can afford the basics you’re fine.

if money is tight, nearly everything can be bought second hand (except things where it may not be safe to do so e.g car seats).  

i find this interesting, i will have to document how much i spend over the next year (granted im in mexico not US so will be cheaper to begin with)

Post # 22
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

View original reply
@Miss Jackrabbit:  
View original reply
@Kate0558:  This. It amazes me when people who have quite large incomes (by my standards) say “we can’t afford a child”. I think “no, you can’t afford designer clothes, a nice new car, a luxury holiday every year, and to send your child to private school. If you cut back your tab at Chanel, swapped your classic car for a Ford Focus, and went to a cheaper holiday resort, you could afford to have kids… and a nice life, to boot”.

People seem to expect an awful lot from life sometimes. I blame our advertising/consumerist culture.

Cost wise, the government’s money advice service says that a baby’s first year costs between £1,600 and £7,200

https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/tools/baby-costs-calculator

Some people disagree and say you can do it for as little as £1,000

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2011/jul/15/cost-baby-first-year

Which, who are a very respectable UK based company, say that it costs around £1,200

http://www.which.co.uk/news/2011/11/revealed-the-real-cost-of-looking-after-a-baby-272238/

…. nowhere near to the 30K USD (which equals about £20,000 UK). I wonder how the medical costs affect this… of course, we don’t pay for healthcare in the UK.

Post # 24
Member
3274 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

As long as someone can afford a nice living environment, insurance/medical expenses, transportation and child care, I think that’s all one really needs. I reallyy hate when people rely on the government for support for themselves or their children, that is just something that really bothers me and that’s the type of financial instability that would concern me. If we ever needed help from anyone else to live I would not be having a child at that time. 

Post # 25
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Technically, we are financially stable now. We have good incomes and can afford to pay 2 mortgages between us (which we are doing until we rent my house out). If we were to accidentally get pregnant now, we could afford it. However, we have some other financial goals before we TTC. We want to take advantage of our dual incomes, get my house rented, pay down debt, and get him a new car. I don’t think either of us would feel comfortable making a baby on purpose until we have those things taken care of.

Post # 27
Member
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@kfiorita:  If you have the luxury of planning to TTC and get pregnant on your own terms, why wouldn’t you want yourself and your child to be in the best position possible and part of that is being financially stable.  However, the concept of financially stable is different from person to person.  Some people are happy with a steady job with benefits while others want to save up $$$ before TTC while still others would want to be stable enough so one parent can stay home and care for the child.

Post # 28
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
@Rachel631: 

I would imagine that the cost of healthcare would have a lot to do with this, as well as the lost wages through maternity leave. Also, I not the most informed on this, but isn’t there childcare assistance in the UK as well? We don’t have any of that, either.

I think it is absurdly irresponsible to actively try to have a child when you are not financially stable. But as PPs have pointed out, financial stability is different for different people. While it was important for my Fiance and I to own our own house first, this isn’t necessary for everyone. However, I don’t think that anyone who can’t pay bills/can’t afford minor unexpected costs (like car repairs, vet bills, etc) or who are relying on other forms of assistance (government or family, for example) should be trying to have kids until they better their situation. 

Post # 29
Member
3376 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think everyone is going to have a different definition of “financial stability.”  For me, it is important that we have dependable income, good health insurance, and a safe and comfortable home.  That home will be rented, though – DH and I are just finishing grad school and have nothing in savings.  It will take at least a year or two until we can save for a down-payment on a house.  We will have debt – 15 years of college and graduate education between the two of us comes with a hefty pricetag.  If we waited until we were debt free, we would likely be in our 40s.  And we’re not expecting to live in the lap of luxury.  For baby stuff, what we are not gifted we will buy second-hand.  We will budget and cut back where needed to make it work.  But we will be able to provide our child with the material things they need and the love they deserve.

We’re going to have really good income some day (electrical engineer and college professor), but having children younger (around 30) is more important to us than waiting until we’re in a really good place financially.

Post # 30
Member
3457 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

View original reply
kfiorita:  Well, an argument can be made it’s unfair to those without children that those on maternity leave be paid more…after all, they aren’t working at the job to “earn it.”  (I’m not saying it’s not beneficial for society to have maternity leave, it is, I’m just playing devil’s advocate to the oft comments here like yours wishing maternity leave paid more.) 

View original reply
@mousepeach:  For me – financial stability means the following

  • a safe roof over our head
  • money to pay the bills and make double/triple payments toward any debt each month
  • money to keep good/healthy food on the table
  • HEALTH INSURANCE (because without this it could ruin you.)
  • Having a car that works and is reliable
  • keeping a savings account for emergencies

Financial stability, to me, does not necesarily mean

  • having zero debt
  • having lots of nice things
  • afford vacations

+1

I agree that’s bare minimum of what is NEEDED before choosing to have a child.  (Sure you can choose to have a child with less, but that’s not financially responsible.)  That said, I want more, even though I don’t need it.  I just don’t call it as wanting to be financially stable.  Maybe financially secure is a better phrase for what I want to be before having kids, although the minimum necessary is financially stable.

View original reply
@Rachel631:  This. It amazes me when people who have quite large incomes (by my standards) say “we can’t afford a child”. I think “no, you can’t afford designer clothes, a nice new car, a luxury holiday every year, and to send your child to private school. If you cut back your tab at Chanel, swapped your classic car for a Ford Focus, and went to a cheaper holiday resort, you could afford to have kids… and a nice life, to boot”.

Unfortunately, my husband feels this way to a degree.  We have good salaries and a lot in the bank but he doesn’t think we have enough for a kid because he:

  1. Feels obligated to pay for their entire education (mine wasn’t fully paid for by my parents, so I feel differently.  I think you pay if you can, you budget and save but you don’t sacrifice retirement and they don’t have to do to the nicest school.
  2. Doesn’t want to change his nice lifestyle of eating out when he wants and nice vacations. 

We’ll have to resolve this sometime, because I want kids and thought we were on the same page before getting married.

In any event, I follow you to a certain point, but I also disagree.  I say “I wish I could afford a $1.5 million home.”  Now the truth is, I technically could, if I was willing to borrow on our retirement savings, sell our current condo, plow that and all of our savings into the home and take the max mortgage out our broker would permit.  But I can’t really afford it in the way I think of affording it – comfortablely.  I may not be articulating this well, but I agree that people say they can’t afford things when really they can fit them easily with limited changes into their lifestyle, but at the same time, I also think that part of affording things sometimes is not needing to change your lifestyle to buy them.

Post # 31
Member
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

View original reply
@Rachel631:  Why does it matter what other people’s financial priorities are? If they value name-brand clothes and fancy vacations and don’t want to give those up in order to afford to keep their child in a lifestyle they’ve been accustom, why is that a bad thing?

Everything is relative, right? You may not understand why someone wants a Chanel outfit, but someone else might not understand why you shop at Forever 21 instead of the thrift store. And someone else might not understand why they shop at a thrift store when they already have 5 shirts and that’s all a person needs.

Same with the Ford Focus in your example. A lot of people say “why do you need a Ford Focus when you can have a 1985 Honda Civic with 300,000 miles on it” or ride a bike, or take public transportation….etc.

Lets not judge other people’s lifestyle choices. As long as they make enough money, everyone is entitled to spend it however they want. And if they choose to forgoe having children to maintain this lifestyle, that’s not a bad thing either.  

 

The topic ‘Spinoff: TTC when not financially stable’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors