Post # 1
I think we all (well, MOST of us) had a good time listing the strange things we’ve found in other people’s houses that made us look at them a little bit sideways from there on out. There were also a lot of Bees mentioning some of the things they had in their own houses, though, that totally fit the bill. So let’s try a spinoff thread about that!
As usual, I’ll try to direct this a little bit and then watch it spin completely out of my control before the first page of comments even concludes. What I’m going for here is funny — not, like, ranting about how your friends judge your NOBAMA poster or how you can’t help that your dog sheds. I’m going for unintentionally weird/deeply personal crap that you kind of wish you had had a chance to put away before your in-laws suddenly showed up unexpectedly, like that extra toothbrush you keep in the shower (I have seen this. WHAT IS IT FOR?!? No wait — don’t tell me. I’m not ready) or the enormous pump-bottle of anal lube you keep on your nightstand.
I am always SO careful about this — I behave like there could be a surprise party planned in my house at any time, so all the really weirdo stuff is put away in cabinets and drawers. But I do have one good one: back in our old apartment, Darling Husband and I had a couple of ridiculous porno mags that we kept in the “public” bathroom. I had acquired them as a joke, and they were so hideously bad that it was obvious to any of our friends who used that bathroom that they were in there ironically. Clearly, Darling Husband and I don’t read “Jugs” and “Hustler: Taboo” while we poop.
But then our drain got clogged up so I put in a maintenance request … and the maintenance guy came while we weren’t home. And he unclogged the drain in that bathroom. And he surely saw the magazines, which we carefully kept open to the absolute worst pages. Now the maintenance guy thinks we like to look at pictures of girls with sections of pipe in their poopers while we poop.
So, whatcha got? If your mother-in-law showed up today WHILE YOU’RE AT WORK and somehow had a key and decided to walk through your entire house without you there, what would you really, REALLY wish she wouldn’t see?
Post # 3
@iarebridezilla: Hahaha! Our sexy time/fetish trunk. We try to keep most items in there but sometimes several get left around the bedroom.
When I was younger, 13-15ish, I was at my parent’s friend’s house and they told me to find a movie to watch. So I opened the drawer under the tv where they said to look and in the corner were several porno movies. I was freaked out!
Post # 4
Seriously…probably nothing. I hate clutter so I keep everything put away. Even in the bathroom I don’t leave anything out. So I guess unless you started going through drawers and stuff you wouldn’t find anything. Even then I can’t think of anything I’d be embarrased about
Post # 5
If someone came into my apartment right now, I’d be embarassed about my hair all over the bathroom floor. I shed like a dog.
Post # 6
My SO’s mother did show up this morning after I went to work (I thought his dad would be there but couldn’t) for an appliance delivery, my sink was full of dishes from dinner last night, I was just so exhausted I threw them in there because I was too lazy to unload then load the dishwasher again. I am mortified. I’m going home after work to clean everything! I know she isn’t a judging person so it’s no big deal to her but I feel like a scuzbucket because my sink is like that!
Post # 7
My fiance keeps a pair of scissors in the shower for “grooming”. It doesn’t bother me but if someone else saw it I could totally see them being creeped out!
I have a tube of nasal lube (it’s real! and it’s for my nose!) in the medicine cabinet lol
Both of those things are in our master bathroom, which I hope no one other than us would ever be using though.
Post # 8
Haha we keep a bottle of lube in our shower. I try to always make sure the curtain is closed or that if someone will be using the shower to remove it. However, Darling Husband has a habit of leaving the curtain open so I’m sure plenty of people have seen it.
Wonder if they use that toothbrush to clean the shower corners? Or brush their teeth on the shower? If they brush their teeth in there I hope the toothbrush isn’t getting hit by the water running out of their hair or something!
Post # 9
I have this creepy Anne Geddes doll dressed like a sunflower I’ve been trying to get rid of for years. My mom got it for me as a child and thinks I should be emotionally attached to it. So it sits on the top shelf of a closet that doesn’t close and peers out all who pass by. God, I’ve gotta get rid of that thing…
Post # 10
@MrsBeck: A girl I went to high school with, her entire family used to brush their teeth in the shower. It would always gross me out when I would sleepover and see the toothbrush holder and toothpaste in the shower. I would just imagine them spitting on the shower floor and getting soap/shampoo/conditioner on their toothbrush while brushing
Post # 11
@MrsBeck: I always just assumed it was for buttholes somehow. I don’t know WHY I assume this — I think it goes back to when I went to a sex store for the first time with some very ‘knowledgeable’ friends … and every time I didn’t know what something was, it turned out to be for buttholes. So that’s my attitude toward pretty much everything in life.
@lauralynn: that reminds me … I am four months away from having a baby, so we have some baby stuff here and there in the house that I bought but then didn’t really put away yet. My Mother-In-Law sent us a really cute stuffed bunny for the baby, but I keep using it AS a baby in all these baby things — laying it in the little bathtub sling or in the little bassinet, or trying to put one of the cloth diapers on it. I’m sure to anyone who comes over, it looks a little bit like a crazy person doing a little too much baby-practice. After all, the baby won’t be here for quite a while … and the bunny was definitely wearing a diaper and sitting in the bathtub sling when Father-In-Law came up to visit this past weekend … haha derp.
Post # 12
I’ll try to keep the list short:
-Our Boston Terrier statue. It’s very contemporary and matches, but I think people still find it odd.
-My plastic, hot pink flamingo wine “glasses”
-Most all of our decorations and paintings are things I created, and some guests may find the content a little bizarre: skulls, bright colors, womens faces, etc.
-Our liquor bar when you walk in the front door
-Black, hanging paper lanterns
-Any book or sketchbook I have laying out on the ottoman is probably “strange.”
Post # 13
This is a little hard to put away when guests come, but I am totally that nutcase with a shrine. It was UNINTENTIONAL. Two lovely large windows look out onto a palm tree and on the inside there is this lovely ledge/windowsill thingamadoodie.
It started with my orchids, then I added two other plants. Pleased with myself I added a few candles a glass giraffe and a shell I collected as a child. Then we cleaned out the spare room and I found these pics of my dead father and I thought it would totally creep people out if I ‘casually’ arrange them around the flowers and candles…
Came back to bite me in the arse; now people think I am a weird shrine lady with random nicknacks that I am sentimental about. Also, my dad (the photos of him) can see me when I walk between the shower and the dressing room. I sometimes do this nekkid. Doh!
Post # 14
@MrsBeck: Fiance brushes his teeth in the shower sometimes and leaves his toothbrush in there every so often. I’m not really into it but I guess if Fiance wants to do it, more power to him. It’s not my toothbrush being left in there lol. I think it may be more of a convenience thing for him.
Post # 15
We have a lot of photos of ourselves. We have some from our engagement shoot, some from our wedding shoot, and a bunch that are from random trips or dates we’ve been on. We have them framed and hanging. Is this weird? I feel like it looks narcassistic.
Post # 16
@QueenOfSerendip: I definitely have the same worry. Our house is FULL of pictures from our wedding, most of which are pictures of us! I think some people see it as narcissistic, but personally, I LOVE looking at pics like that when I go over to people’s houses, so I figure I’m just returning the favor … ?